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Thread: Thespy24574 - Synthetic Application

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    Thespy24574 - Synthetic Application

    Synthetic Whitelist Application
    Personal Information

    Byond ID?
    Thespy24574

    Discord ID?
    Space Waffle#8984

    Marine Name
    Andy Marcotte

    Other Whitelist Applications
    //showthrea...8065#post68065 - Denied due to poor story
    //showthrea...ic-Application - Denied to poor choice of personality
    //showthrea...1172#post61172 - Denied due to poor story that didn't explain or had shown quirk

    *Most likely there are more but I am unable to find any others at this time*

    Character Information

    Name of the Synth Character you wish to play
    Andy

    What is your Synthetic's Personality?
    Chatty but very informational personality. Loves talking to marines about the job and/or the duty his currently preforming.

    Why do you want to be a synthetic/why should we whitelist you?
    I liked the idea of synthetic for a while now. The mindset in particular

    What is your most memorable interaction with a synthetic?
    Roleplayed with a synth once, forgotten their name, Was really good at it though.

    Synthetic Character Story
    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...it?usp=sharing




    *viewer have commenter powers, makes it easier to highlight things that need explaining, etc*

    Andy's mission log, should give a decent insight into what Andy should be like.

    Experience

    How familiar are you with Engineering?
    Very familiar, often make experimental cade lines in my free time. Just to see what works best.

    How familiar are you with Command?
    Very familiar. My tactics are not usually the best though as they require lot of listening by the marines, which they don't usually do.

    How familiar are you with Medical?
    Very familiar with medical. Still am working on the best combo for a autoinjector pack.

    How familiar are you with Requisitions?
    Quite familiar, I don't play RO lots but I am able to adequately preform the tasks required

    What are some scenarios that you can perform combat in? Give us a brief example.
    1. In self defense, as to which to make the attacker disengage or die.
    2. when its SD/lifeboat, I would prioritize wounded/dead marines first though.

    Confirmations

    Are you familiar with the Synthetic Programming and Guidelines?
    Yes

    Have you read the application process page?
    Yes

    Do you understand that any player - donor or otherwise - can have their whitelist status revoked should they break our rules or the Synthetic Programming Guideline?
    Yes

    Do you understand that you cannot advertise your application on any platform for votes. Do you also understand you may not edit this application 1 hour after it has been posted?
    Yes

    Have you been banned from CM in the last month for any reason? Do you have any active jobbans?
    No

    Are you currently banned from our Discord, and if so, why?
    No

    Discord Ban Reason
    -

    Other Information

    Do you have anything else you would like to include about your application?
    I expect this to get shot down fast. I haven't been extremely active as of late, due to IRL happenings. In any case, I feel I am up to par with how a synthetic acts and the like.

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    Thinking I should give an "inworld" example of self defense so here's one:
    "Andy is building a barricade and gets jumped by a runner, he stands his ground fighting the runner until he either disengages or dies. Once either of the two happen, He would go back and gather 1 to 3 marines to cover him while he finishes building the barricade." As stated in synthetic programming and guide lines: "6 - If engaged in combat, you must ensure the threat disengages or is disabled. If it runs away, you are not to chase it to the ends of the Earth."

  3. #3
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    This is below the synth app standards, review the prior apps both accepted and denied along with asking for help on the #whitelist-help channel. Your story clearly has work put into it, and is the saving grace of this app. I do still recommend you withdraw the app and reapply after you work on the personality and other parts of the app more.
    Synth Gaming

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    Quote Originally Posted by c4xmaniac View Post
    This is below the synth app standards, review the prior apps both accepted and denied along with asking for help on the #whitelist-help channel. Your story clearly has work put into it, and is the saving grace of this app. I do still recommend you withdraw the app and reapply after you work on the personality and other parts of the app more.
    I see, I will be considering withdrawal in that case. I do ask WHICH parts need working on.

    Since you only stated my story, which was a utter joy and pain to make, was the saving grace along with my agreeably somewhat hollow personality. But didn't list WHICH part of my app were below standards. So I kindly ask you which parts do you think are below, perhaps even given some pointers or notes on how it coulda been done better?

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    Quote Originally Posted by thespy24574 View Post
    I see, I will be considering withdrawal in that case. I do ask WHICH parts need working on.

    Since you only stated my story, which was a utter joy and pain to make, was the saving grace along with my agreeably somewhat hollow personality. But didn't list WHICH part of my app were below standards. So I kindly ask you which parts do you think are below, perhaps even given some pointers or notes on how it coulda been done better?
    The personality as described is barebones, it basically doesn’t exist. Every synth the USCM is going to purchase is going to love their job and care for the marines. You should try to make a more complex personality than what every single synth is going to do.

    Your most memorable moment was so profound that you cannot give specifics about what happened nor whom it was with.

    You say you’re very familiar with basically every role, but I have never seen you before. That can be a time zone difference, but if you are very familiar with command and do unusual tactics I should know your name. The CO community will often talk about XOs and SOs that do strange or unusual things, especially if they don’t frequently work out. I should have heard your name if this is true. The laser focus on command as opposed to the other roles is to show that I’m skeptical about your experience, which of course can be appeased with vouches, but I have a suspicion it will be difficult to get them.

    Finally, your answers to the combat scenarios are non existent. Summarizing to us what the guidelines say isn’t exactly what is being asked - we know what they say. We want scenarios from you that show that you can reason about combat even in relatively murky areas like combat vs CLF or marines shooting you on purpose or xenos killing while you’re surrounded by other marines etc.

    To close out, being a known quantity isn’t required for synth. I was a complete nobody before I got synth and I’m sure many other synth players were like that too, were more than happy to observe you to see how you do in your role - especially when you don’t know we are. I think you should withdraw the app and work on what I said, and anything other synths might comment.
    Synth Gaming

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    Quote Originally Posted by c4xmaniac View Post
    The personality as described is barebones, it basically doesn’t exist. Every synth the USCM is going to purchase is going to love their job and care for the marines. You should try to make a more complex personality than what every single synth is going to do.

    Your most memorable moment was so profound that you cannot give specifics about what happened nor whom it was with.

    You say you’re very familiar with basically every role, but I have never seen you before. That can be a time zone difference, but if you are very familiar with command and do unusual tactics I should know your name. The CO community will often talk about XOs and SOs that do strange or unusual things, especially if they don’t frequently work out. I should have heard your name if this is true. The laser focus on command as opposed to the other roles is to show that I’m skeptical about your experience, which of course can be appeased with vouches, but I have a suspicion it will be difficult to get them.

    Finally, your answers to the combat scenarios are non existent. Summarizing to us what the guidelines say isn’t exactly what is being asked - we know what they say. We want scenarios from you that show that you can reason about combat even in relatively murky areas like combat vs CLF or marines shooting you on purpose or xenos killing while you’re surrounded by other marines etc.

    To close out, being a known quantity isn’t required for synth. I was a complete nobody before I got synth and I’m sure many other synth players were like that too, were more than happy to observe you to see how you do in your role - especially when you don’t know we are. I think you should withdraw the app and work on what I said, and anything other synths might comment.


    I see. Where I have gotten my experience from was a while back when I played basically everyday to fully learn the role, recently been playing as SO and CT as of late. And would be more than happy to have you see how I do in-game, and would love tips that I might not have known or otherwise forgotten about since my long pause from CM13.

    On the note about combat, I can further give examples to what I can and cant do in combat as a synth. And will be fully willing to give further examples on discord, as I unfortunately don't look at forums often as I find people respond quite slowly. Though the fundamental of me not telling the scenarios where I can and cant do combat I do understand. Simply due to me not putting enough mind to it (At the time of writing the application, I was focusing on the story and the personality of the synth. The personality, admittedly, made the synth in the story much more human like. If a bit nerdy.

    On the topic of Personality, perhaps I can give a more colorful description of the personality I am telling. That being said its still pretty light of a personality given the situation and story I have.

    On the topic of the memorable moment, It was a while back when I played regularly. Along with day to day things, people are bound to forget certain things within the memory, I just so happen to forget the name. I do remember what we were talking about, it was about the xenos and their habits as a species (In lore). I am particularly fascinated by the concept of xenomorphs so it was particularly enjoyable for me to talk to someone about it.

    And since we are talking about this, I am still considering withdrawal. I still want to see if any other synth WL want to speak on this or something of the sort. Along with this conversation continuing, I think its best intention for all involved that this application to stay open for the time being.

    I am ALWAYS active on discord, feel free to ping me whenever.
    Last edited by thespy24574; 09-26-2022 at 10:51 PM.

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    I agree on most of what C4x said except I dont like the story. Although your story is formatted well and is passable, nothing in it makes your synth stand out.

    Take the following example:

    What is your Synthetic's Personality?
    Pablo is a synthetic unit, the result of a synthetic line that originated on Mars. He is known for having a special interest in gastronomy, thus appreciating meals cooked by the Mess Technicians, while slightly disapproving of premade or Ready-to-Eat meals, claiming that due to their concentrated chemicals in them, they can eventually become hurtful to humans. However, should there be an emergency, his disinterest in chemical food becomes irrelevant.

    Pablo also has a mild Spanish accent, using Spanish expressions from time to time, such as 'señor/a', 'lector/a' (especially towards officers), and mainly onomatopoeias. However, he can easily adapt to English with no problem at all



    Versus yours


    What is your Synthetic's Personality?
    Chatty but very informational personality. Loves talking to marines about the job and/or the duty his currently preforming.



    Now based on above, try to imagine what each synth would be wearing. What does the synths facial hair look like? Which synth might you be able to pick out of a lineup? If I gave you direction to write a 3 sentence reaction to seeing a roach as Pablo (Based on above) vs. your synth.. which would be easier?

    You need to flesh in your synth's details.

    WHY does your synth like chatting to marines? What was their previous occupation? Are they chatty and compassionate because your unit used to teach kindergarten and views marines as their "classroom"? That would be FAR different version of chatty and compassionate than synth that used to work as a door greeter at "Synthmart".

    Pick some things flesh it out, the more you think about it and do so, the stronger your synth (and application) will turn out.
    Felix the Synth: hat fanatic, nice robot, one time double agent almayer synth executed for sedition. Occasional murderous mopbot.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by BeardedWall View Post
    I agree on most of what C4x said except I dont like the story. Although your story is formatted well and is passable, nothing in it makes your synth stand out.

    Take the following example:

    What is your Synthetic's Personality?
    Pablo is a synthetic unit, the result of a synthetic line that originated on Mars. He is known for having a special interest in gastronomy, thus appreciating meals cooked by the Mess Technicians, while slightly disapproving of premade or Ready-to-Eat meals, claiming that due to their concentrated chemicals in them, they can eventually become hurtful to humans. However, should there be an emergency, his disinterest in chemical food becomes irrelevant.

    Pablo also has a mild Spanish accent, using Spanish expressions from time to time, such as 'señor/a', 'lector/a' (especially towards officers), and mainly onomatopoeias. However, he can easily adapt to English with no problem at all



    Versus yours


    What is your Synthetic's Personality?
    Chatty but very informational personality. Loves talking to marines about the job and/or the duty his currently preforming.



    Now based on above, try to imagine what each synth would be wearing. What does the synths facial hair look like? Which synth might you be able to pick out of a lineup? If I gave you direction to write a 3 sentence reaction to seeing a roach as Pablo (Based on above) vs. your synth.. which would be easier?

    You need to flesh in your synth's details.

    WHY does your synth like chatting to marines? What was their previous occupation? Are they chatty and compassionate because your unit used to teach kindergarten and views marines as their "classroom"? That would be FAR different version of chatty and compassionate than synth that used to work as a door greeter at "Synthmart".

    Pick some things flesh it out, the more you think about it and do so, the stronger your synth (and application) will turn out.

    I do see where you are coming from in terms of not really fleshing things out with the synth personality. I doubt adding more *Now* would be the best as its not part of the actual application post, if asked however I will provide more information regarding personality and how he would act/speak/interact with people.

    On the part of standing out, I envisioned: "Well there's TONS of quirky and expressive synths, why cant one be more down to earth?" where YES he has quirks that makes him still stand out, it wont because of the quirk. it'd because of how 'Generic' he is. Yes, he does love explaining and running his mouth about what has doing, but its also what makes him SPEICAL like the others as he SOUNDS like a normal human being. How many synths are 'down to earth'? While this is being said, I do see the possibility of actual 'humanity' being shown in a synth like this. Which I will retort..... He's a machine, he imitates emotion along with how he acts/sounds. Behind the mask he truly doesn't care about the marines/crew, He only cares about the mission. Which relies on the marines and thus cares about them as long as they finish or contribute to the mission goal/objective.

  9. #9
    Synthetic Council Member QuickLoad's Avatar
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    Hello, thanks for your interest on the Synthetic Whitelist!

    There are some things to talk about on your app.

    For starters, your personality/quirk is not so adequate. Most synthetics are expected to roleplay with Marines when given the opportunity and time to. Being chatty or talking in-depth about procedures is just barely scratching the surface of a fun thing. However, I do see how you used this personality in your story. That's good because a lot of people forget to actually show their personality in their story.

    Speaking of the story, you have quite a few grammatical errors. One of the biggest ones you can fix would be capitalization. Marine is always capitalized. The Marine, Jefferson, his last name(any name) should be capitalized as well. There's other things like punctuation mistakes in your story too. I like the format, but I think you can revise quite a bit.

    And then we have your app, the questions again feel like they only scratch the surface. "I like the mindset of synthetic". What is that mindset that you enjoy or are interested in? What is an ingame scenario where you might have to defend yourself? What do you like doing as doctor? ETC. Always feel free to elaborate further because that is how you show us what you mean!

    Overall, I think all of your questions could benefit favorably from more elaboration.


    To recap: I think you should start by considering a better personality for Andy. You also could consider a different name, since your character's name is already Andy Marcotte. You can revise your story for color, flow(with a new personality?), and grammatical errors. And finally, your application can use elaboration in all regards for every question.

    I have seen you as doctor once or twice but a lot of people haven't seen you in general, I think roleplaying with people around you will definitely get your name out there. Especially if you are active on the radio and have a nice medbay team to speak with, or if you're the CL trying to plan something with Marines, or even just in CIC command. CM is your playground, and you should use it to its full extent.

    I wish you the best of luck on your application overall, but keep in mind that you will definitely need to revise it in all aspects significantly. Personality, story, app, and in-game exposure.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by QuickLoad View Post
    Hello, thanks for your interest on the Synthetic Whitelist!

    There are some things to talk about on your app.

    For starters, your personality/quirk is not so adequate. Most synthetics are expected to roleplay with Marines when given the opportunity and time to. Being chatty or talking in-depth about procedures is just barely scratching the surface of a fun thing. However, I do see how you used this personality in your story. That's good because a lot of people forget to actually show their personality in their story.

    Speaking of the story, you have quite a few grammatical errors. One of the biggest ones you can fix would be capitalization. Marine is always capitalized. The Marine, Jefferson, his last name(any name) should be capitalized as well. There's other things like punctuation mistakes in your story too. I like the format, but I think you can revise quite a bit.

    And then we have your app, the questions again feel like they only scratch the surface. "I like the mindset of synthetic". What is that mindset that you enjoy or are interested in? What is an ingame scenario where you might have to defend yourself? What do you like doing as doctor? ETC. Always feel free to elaborate further because that is how you show us what you mean!

    Overall, I think all of your questions could benefit favorably from more elaboration.


    To recap: I think you should start by considering a better personality for Andy. You also could consider a different name, since your character's name is already Andy Marcotte. You can revise your story for color, flow(with a new personality?), and grammatical errors. And finally, your application can use elaboration in all regards for every question.

    I have seen you as doctor once or twice but a lot of people haven't seen you in general, I think roleplaying with people around you will definitely get your name out there. Especially if you are active on the radio and have a nice medbay team to speak with, or if you're the CL trying to plan something with Marines, or even just in CIC command. CM is your playground, and you should use it to its full extent.

    I wish you the best of luck on your application overall, but keep in mind that you will definitely need to revise it in all aspects significantly. Personality, story, app, and in-game exposure.


    I thank you for your input, especially given how positive you made it sound.

    I figured the personality wasn't adequate given the comments/statements that came from this application. But I have to stand my ground for this application, as I cant change it so I might as well fight for it anyway.

    The story was a difficult one, I *Wanted* to make sure the personality was shown through. Learning from past mistakes of course, I had to sacrifice perfection with consistency. I would fix it but the point you made would make it clear I changed something within the story so I can't exactly fix it now you mentioned it.

    Admittedly, the application was a bit thin. I felt my previous applications that have similar answers to questions would fill in the blanks..... Clearly it did not work. And on the topic of elaborating further I would love to elaborate it a bit more.

    -

    About the recap section, The personality is one I am fond of. Given it's a difficult one to fight for, I do believe it's worth it's chance to see how it could work. And on the topic of the synthetic name, Andy, yes its close to Andy Marcotte but as a rebuttal most names that are common are already taken. Most synths applicants have to have weird or clearly off the table names to even have a chance at becoming synth WL, and so the name Andy (Which I already memorized for obvious reasons) was the name I went with and will continue to run with.

    Elaboration is my one glaring failure, other than I suppose personality, for this application. But it can be fixed, I would absolutely elaborate more on any questions you have regarding my familiarity with the various questions. I suppose having to elaborate is a bad sign but, as I said, it can be mended to show more of what I know/can do.

    I will absolutely make another application given the support/constructive criticism this application had gotten (if this one gets denied). And will likely be much better, but that being said this is very much a right step in the correct direction. I do thank you for the criticism you all have given and I still hold out hope for this application to, if god is willing, be accepted.
    Last edited by thespy24574; 09-30-2022 at 09:13 PM. Reason: Removed a statement. not needed lol

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