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Thread: How to become the best USCM Waifu

  1. #1
    Ancient Member
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    How to become the best USCM Waifu


    How to become the ultimate USCM waifu?

    Well, this thread is the answer.


    Let's start, shall we?
    take a look at this individual for example.
    KEY PROPERTIES
    • USCM Beret - When you go to meet God, you know you wanna look nice - Headband isn't a good idea, Helmets are overrated, USCM Headsets are cool with Dark Blue hair only and everything else is trash unless it's a Warden/MP Beret.
    • Uncommon hair colour - White is generic and everyone has Dark Red, Orange & Yellow colours attract bugs and Pink/Dark Blue are a bit over the top. You have to be creative.
    • Darker skin tone - Do I even need to explain?


    BONUS POINTS
    • Delta Preference - important factor, Charlie is expendable garbage, Alpha isn't a valid option and Bravo is a high risk high reward move.
    • Sunglasses - Good looking, ass kicking - Ballistic Goggles are overrated and shades look autistic, on the other hand prescription glasses turn your eyes into anime eyes
    • Robust - Nobody wants to have an unrobust waifu


    Now, take a look at these failed attempts

    They all have something in common, can you guess what? (No, not all of them were made by omicega)
    Exactly, they're too snowflakish.


    No. 1 - Sleeves are not rolled up, Orangish Hair and Ballistic goggles - GENERIC AND LESBIAN
    No. 2 - Sleeves are not rolled up, Orangish Hair and ballistic goggles on the fucking mask slot - DISGUSTING
    No. 3 - Ponytail 2, Red Hair, Skull armor and facepaint - GENERIC
    No. 4 - White hair, LATEX GLOVES and most importantly doesn't have a pair of USCM combat boots. - SNOWFLAKE
    No. 5 - Too generic + Charlie, nothing stands out. - CUCKLIE
    No. 6 - Point and laugh, it's an alpha sniper with Yellow hair - NOT WORTH IT

    Recapitulation
    If you want to become the ultimate USS Almayer 4th battalion waifu you absolutely need to:
    • have a hot 2D sprite
    • be original
    • have macros
    • cropped anime profile picture on the discord ( ?� ?? ?�)
    • use angled grips
    • be robust
    • be straight
    • block challade
    • stop being lesbian
    • stop evacuating over fractures
    • stop playing as a lesbian doctor
    • play PFC or squad medic
    • stop using stasis bags


    BONUS: Apparently the CM discord community is unable to distinguish genders, but don't worry guys - I am here to help you out

    Spoiler Spoiler:
    Last edited by Avalanchee; 03-16-2019 at 02:26 PM.

  2. #2
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    Teer are gay

    H'chak Gang

  3. #3
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    Lesbay rise up

  4. #4
    Whitelisted Predator Coroneljones's Avatar
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    Step 1:
    -Be Jack Knight
    Step 2:
    -Profit
    I am Crornel Jrones, grorious admin of Coronial Mahreens. U ar arr nast Trorr and will be ding dong bannu. U critizize Xenos? Ding dong Bannu. U no rike grorious adminnu? Ding dong Bannu. U comrpain about Marine nerfs? Dingdong bannu. U comprain about grorrious adminnu? O yoo betta bereev dat's a bannu. It has come to my Grorrious attention dat nasty trorr has been imidatingu me on serveru, dis is a shamfrul dispray and unacceptaboo so dey ding dong bannu. End of Rine ----------Rine ends here.'

  5. #5
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    How about me bro

  6. #6
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    Implying there are robust waifus

  7. #7
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    This thread belongs in General Discussion.

  8. #8
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    I somehow feel threatened

  9. #9
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    i feel personally attacked
    TrialModerator from 12/15/2018 to 12/29/2018
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    Manager from 6/17/2021 to ???
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  10. #10
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    This is, well.

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