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Thread: Have a Nice Death: Ironic or Funny Deaths

  1. #1
    Whitelisted Captain FGRSentinel's Avatar
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    Have a Nice Death: Ironic or Funny Deaths

    Most of us have these stories. Our character's minding their own business when, without warning, something inexplicable or hilarious happens that dooms them to a sudden death. Maybe we have a story about our characters dying in a particularly ironic way due to their personalities. Here's a very recent example.

    Everyone knows I play Goddard Pearsall, a friendly, perfectionist PO that makes a serious effort to avoid FF casualties while treating Marines on Medevac when he can. Just a while ago, I was playing a round on Big Red as a PFC with a JTAC kit. I was lasing targets for CAS and the mortar, eventually getting something like 15 kills marked between the two, which played a good part in breaking the FOB siege for a time. At one point I saw a spot where I could hide a flare from the benos but let CAS strike along their most likely route of attack and retreat. "Flare out. Max south," I said, tired of the constant fighting. CAS PO asks me to confirm that it's clear since it wasn't visible. I said it was, not realizing what was going to happen until it was too late. See, I was standing near the flare, which was indoors, but 12 tiles south was open sky. The PO had set the offset to zero with three Marines standing within the blast zone. I didn't have a chance to say anything as the two Marines next to me instantly got gibbed and I was knocked unconscious. As I recover, a Sentinel moved up and uses Neurotoxin to knock me down before dragging me into the very darkness I was expecting the Normandy to bomb.

    In the end, Goddard Pearsall died to a PO making a mistake with an offset.

    Does anyone else have stories to share?
    Retired CO Councilor (Winter 2019-Spring 2020, Winter 2020-Spring 2021)

    Goddard Pearsall, the Pilot that (almost) always has Souto

    Unofficial source of help for new/inexperienced POs. Message me here or on Discord if you'd like advise on anything.


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    I had an Executive Officer game where I was ordered to go the surface of Ice for a push. I figure I was going to die a horrible death. I got a piece of armor, got a gun, got a coif, and I went down. I got to the top of bar where I became more confident with my survival. At this point that I said to myself, "everything will be fine. What's the worst that can happen? A medic can revive me."

    Out comes an ancient lurker hiding at the edge of bar with an insta decap. Immediately, a charlie marine and medic stroll up to my headless corpse... they couldn't put the Executive Officer together again.

  3. #3
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    Charlie Squad deploys. Xenos in front the doors. Charlie behind me shoots a xeno, one pellet decaps me right before I step off.

  4. #4
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    I had a most unfortunate end to a CO round. I'll just leave this here.

    https://streamable.com/4zcs8

  5. #5
    Senior Member scsnv's Avatar
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    I was the XO on a Prison zombie round awhile back. The CO managed to get infected via infected puke or something, so they got thrown into quarantine until a cure was found.

    On the ground, the situation wasn't doing so great. Marines were reporting getting infected left and right, multiple reports of FOB breaches, all that good stuff. Signs pointed to the fact that the FOB was insecure, and it was probably filled with infected or soon-to-be infected marines. So rather than call evac, I ordered the POs to keep the Alamo shipside, and to let the events on the ground run their course, to try to quarantine off the planet from the (surprisingly safe) ship. Disobedient PO takes off, scoops up everyone, and marines launch the only mutiny I've ever had against me, which basically consisted of storming the Brig and blowing my head off.

    For the record, I'm pretty sure the ship ended up perfectly fine with no infected whatsoever, even after the evac. Or maybe the ship got overrun by zombies. I don't entirely remember. But either way it was funny.
    Trial Moderator: 4/18/19 - 5/2/19 / Moderator: 5/3/19 - 10/1/19 / Senior Moderator: 10/2/19 - 12/26/19 / Trial Admin: 12/27/19 - 1/11/20 / Mod Manager: 1/12/20 - 4/18/20

    Cerwick/Balakura/etc
    Discord: noah#7322

    Former staff member and long-time CO Council member, now I just wave my boomer cane at people when I want something to complain about.

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    Junior Member NewOriginalSchwann's Avatar
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    [READY] [NOT READY]

    SQUAD PREFERENCE: BRAVO

    YOU ARE A SQUAD ENGINEER

    "Oh cool grea-"

    YOU HAVE BEEN ASSIGNED TO ALPHA SQUAD

    "Oh shit."

    Realizing that my own death by HEFA/burst M41A AP in my chest was a matter of when, rather than if, I decided that my best bet for survival was to get myself evacuated. But how would I become severely injured without going out on alpha's quest to become the stars in a xeno pregnancy snuff film? Easy, I'd shoot myself when nobody was looking but a medic was nearby! This was genius, and there was no possible way this could backfire. I mean I had a shotgun but if I targeted my foot I would be fine, right?

    All the additional buckshot hit me in the chest and instantly killed me.
    A player with too many character names.

    Also I play Yin, the synthetic.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Madventurer's Avatar
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    So I was fighting on Almayer during xeno boarding, and we were kicking ass on the upper deck.
    I had gotten quite a few good shots off on them with a shotty, but me and a bunch of others were injured.

    So I try to click myself to see how my injuries are. Except I forgot to change hand out of the shotgun. And I was on harm intent. RIP me.
    Tyson 'Bunny' Sphere


  8. #8
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    Deploy > get hugged > buddy tries to take the crab off > I get decap�d

  9. #9
    Whitelisted Synthetic Kineem's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by scsnv View Post
    I was the XO on a Prison zombie round awhile back. The CO managed to get infected via infected puke or something, so they got thrown into quarantine until a cure was found.

    On the ground, the situation wasn't doing so great. Marines were reporting getting infected left and right, multiple reports of FOB breaches, all that good stuff. Signs pointed to the fact that the FOB was insecure, and it was probably filled with infected or soon-to-be infected marines. So rather than call evac, I ordered the POs to keep the Alamo shipside, and to let the events on the ground run their course, to try to quarantine off the planet from the (surprisingly safe) ship. Disobedient PO takes off, scoops up everyone, and marines launch the only mutiny I've ever had against me, which basically consisted of storming the Brig and blowing my head off.

    For the record, I'm pretty sure the ship ended up perfectly fine with no infected whatsoever, even after the evac. Or maybe the ship got overrun by zombies. I don't entirely remember. But either way it was funny.
    It was an LV round and the POs actually listened to you, but I didn't. I was your disobedient SO. I distinctly remember it because while I had been coordinating the evac with Delta using the private Overwatch messages, you turned to ask your lieutenants if you did the right thing. I told you that there was no correct answer, you just did what you thought was right... and then, after walking to the Alamo console and sending the Alamo back up, I stated that I was doing what I thought was right.

    There were very few infected on board and those that were got treated by CMO Hekmatyar. A lot of the robustos got saved from the planet and the SADAR spec was recovered, so when Xenos boarded they got absolutely stomped by Delta (after Delta mutinied, of course). We won the round shortly after they made me into aCO.

    It was a really fun round.
    Last edited by Kineem; 03-23-2019 at 08:11 PM.
    Chance Warden

    Duke the Synthetic, Karr'Thesh the Yautja
    ex-synth councilman and retired moderator

  10. #10
    Donor Dinobubba7's Avatar
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    >Be me
    >Chad Delta SL
    >Suit folded with the tears of smoothbrain crushers
    >Meta Targets by benos non stop
    >Land on LV-624
    >First drop
    >Alamo leaves
    >Leave the FOB
    >Patrol
    >Start going back to the FOB
    >On Launch pad
    >Hear Alamo coming
    >runfastandeatass.jpg
    >Warrior comes out of no where and punts me under the Alamo
    >Squish


    Godspeed Dinkle you magnificent bastard o7.

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