Have a Nice Death: Ironic or Funny Deaths

[scsnv]

It was an LV round and the POs actually listened to you, but I didn't. I was your disobedient SO. I distinctly remember it because while I had been coordinating the evac with Delta using the private Overwatch messages, you turned to ask your lieutenants if you did the right thing. I told you that there was no correct answer, you just did what you thought was right... and then, after walking to the Alamo console and sending the Alamo back up, I stated that I was doing what I thought was right.

There were very few infected on board and those that were got treated by CMO Hekmatyar. A lot of the robustos got saved from the planet and the SADAR spec was recovered, so when Xenos boarded they got absolutely stomped by Delta (after Delta mutinied, of course). We won the round shortly after they made me into aCO.

It was a really fun round.

Fuck, that's right. Good corrections. But yeah, same end result, me getting my head blown off when we ended up being on the winning side of things either way. Thus is the way of the XO.

[Kineem]

I tried to get Delta not to mutiny but they were really out for blood. If you hadn't ordered me to leave CIC and check research I would have left to dodge that gunfight, lol

[scsnv]

I don't remember the exact circumstances but I'm pretty sure I was just trying to get you out of the CIC, lol. Or I think there was a breach in Research and I hoped you might unfortunately get yourself infected trying to fix the breach.

[Manfromuncle]

CO calls for Marines to evac via pods. I along with other marines fight through some tier 3s to get there. I access the controls to launch it with two other marines inside and the pods were never turned on and we all died because xenos were right outside. Good times.

[SilentMountain]

This wasn't actually my death but I remember a round on LV where Command had managed to get their dirty little hands on some yautja gear. Preds of course wanted it back so they raided the ship but they didn't manage to get everything back. See I was CL and greedy corporate asshole rules dictated I steal the gear and evacuate with it for science.

Long story short, I died when benos boarded due to a runner killing me while I was writing a fax in my quarters. So I ghost and after hearing some marines booked it back to the surface inside the Normandy I decided to espectate them, I see what IIRC was an SO or CE with a couple marines in nexus watching as the pred that got its gear stolen was in the chapel preparing to commit yautja sudoku because he had lost his honor. After the pred stabbed itself on the torso a couple times SO interrupted it and started giving this very emotional IC speech about being warriors....

all of a sudden the pred, the SO and the 2 marines explode into gibs in the exact moment Black Betty by Ram Jam midi starts playing. Turns out they were the last marines alive so admemes nuked them to end the round.

My sides left orbit for around 15 minutes after that.

[mynameajeff]

>be me
>survivor salesman on big red
>ohboy.pdf
>find stasis bag
>see cmo locker
>blast it open for meds, find a headset
>holy shit it has marine command
>go into stasis bag in inconspicuous place
>mfw when bag hider is better than locker hider
>wait for marines to deploy
>hear command comms
>who the fuck is this
>see CL's dead body from FF and xeno claws
>oh SHIT
>laugh at combat CL
>steal his ID and headset, he's unrevivable anyway
>swap out his headset and belongings in his quarters
>convince CMP to make me the new CL
>my character as a salesman was a lawyer from WY internal affairs
>get id, have it renamed to me.
>go back into quarters, start fucking around, see no WY briefcase
>see safe
>masterthief.gif
>crack that bitch open, whiny faxes and shit with the briefcase
>use the briefcase in hand
>it fucking works?
>mfw changing the name of the ID with the CL's ID allows access to the briefcase
>have some fun dispensing alcohol and shit
>fax the company about the combat CL
>no response
>marines are doing very shitty too
>marines get fucking blasted, full evac.
>taunt the crew of the almayer, with my survivor status I could give out information about the xenomorphs however i please
>tell them that they're going to come up
>tell them that they're intelligent
>you're joking right? - Delta SL
>nope.png
>Unscheduled dropship departure detected from operational area. Hijack likely. Shutting down autopilot.
>laugh at them
>barricade my office using the skills from survivor
>set up pretty good given the circumstances
>all of my essential gear aswell as three 88 mod pistols, fax machine too.
>delay launch on pod
>decide to wait for PMCs or an ERT
>wait for awhile, shutters and shit start getting melted
>sentinel and drone rush my location start slashing my shit, unload a mag of burst fire pistol into them
>run into the pod with all of my shit loaded
>smash delay launch to disable it, doesn't work, i have a pretty spotty modem
>have to open the panel again, press delay launch and then manual eject
>sentinel rushes in, door refuses to close, but pod launches
>get mauled by the xenos that i taunted the crew about
>apparently i was the last human alive in the round
>round ends
>get told i played the snobby asshole corporate guy greatly in deadchat and OOC
>mfw the only thing i wanted was some rp with the CL

fun round, especially because I was the last surviving crew and I managed to fuck that up.

[FGRSentinel]

Ah yes, that's actually pretty ironic. The survivor from the planet warns the Marines about the Xeno threat and mocks them for not taking the benos serious, but forgets to take the benos seriously himself.

[SirMandrake]

Waaaaay back in the day I died after breaking a bottle of booze over my face on accident when trying to drink while on harm intent, and afterwards lighting a cigarette. RIP my burnt body.

[Ventyas]

>Join as PFC
>Decide to bully MPs
>Mps takes out tazer
>Chainlock stun this bitch with his own tazer
>Steal his beret like any real chad will do after cuffing him down
>Deploy with Mp beret
>Ancient runner comes and slash my head once
>Instant decap
>Time to launch APEX legends

[Bancrose]

Being Battlefield Executed by Apop for being a Nazi.