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Thread: step210 - Predator Application

  1. #11
    Junior Member
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    English not easy to lean. It harder than Spanish I hear, from friends.
    Last edited by step210; 05-26-2019 at 12:49 AM. Reason: Grammer(oof)

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by step210 View Post
    English not easy to lean. It harder than Spanish I hear, from friends.
    You can always ask for any kind of help from members of this community, like you my main lenguage is spanish and I asked for a lot of help when I was Working on my own app, basically over 7 members helped with grammar fixes & Rewordings.

    Yeah, English can be really difficult sometimes, but I think spanish is Harder, Remember, While english have: he,she,it,they,we,etc. Spanish. Contains more ways like Tu,Yo,Vos,Nosotros,Vosotros,Ella,El,Etc.

    Your story wasn't great but not bad just okay, your playstyle is generic and well I can't recall your activity or role play ability since I'm in a Hiatus Ingame & Discord.

    Remaining Neutral until future feedback.

  3. #13
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    Oh, kars. You made a whitelist request its average, not bad or good. I do not think I have the right to vouche for you but I would considering you were crap at English last month.

  4. #14
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    No, English is harder to me because it not native languge for me. Also I am pretty active with playing this game one week straight with a day or two beteen.

  5. #15
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    yes jack am getting better I think

  6. #16
    Whitelisted Predator SpartanBobby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lumdor View Post
    I�m going to go with a -1 on this. Story has its mistakes which is most likely from English not being your first language. Overall the application didn�t draw me in whatsoever.

    I�d suggest try learning English some more, and use the whitelist-app channel for feedback. Also, when you make a new application have some whitelisted predators look it over and give you feedback.
    Going to Echo Lumdor on this one sorry chief -1
    !!!

  7. #17
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    The story doesn't really flow for me. I understand that English isn't easy to write if you don't fluently speak it and obviously saying, "learn to write English stories better," isn't good or reasonable advice. As such, I'd suggest you try to come up with a good theme for your predator and try to tie that into the story the best you can. We're not expecting a brand new predator style here so do what you'd enjoy best and can pull off. I'd also suggest having other people read over your story to help point out some issues it will have. For me, I found you were using "I..." way too much in the story so maybe consider the third-person or finding a way to make the first-person flow better. This application is denied and you're free to make a new post in 30 days, should you wish to try again.

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