The role of shitposter aboard USCMC vessels is not one which is taken lightly. Necessary for morale and the smooth operations of almost all Colonial Marine vessels, no ship leaves Gateway station without their resident shitposter. You have been tasked, as one of the few blessed the skills necessary to appease the shitposter spirit, with maintaining the spiritual health of the crew of the USS Almayer. The requirements of this prestigious role will be enclosed below.
Colonial Shitposter Directives:
1. The Shitposting Spirit is the most important authority aboard the vessel, and you will serve its will and appease it at all times.
2. The Shitposting Spirit favours the marines of the USS Almayer, you will do no harm to them as such will indirectly harm the Shitposting Spirit.
3. You will do your best to encourage the marines aboard the USS Almayer to shitpost.
4. The forums are an extension of the enviroment aboard the USS Almayer, you will shitpost here as you would aboard the tangible vessel.
5. The enemies of the USCMC, including the staff team, alien creatures and hostile insurgents are likewise the enemies of the Shitposting Spirit.
6. Three voluntary marines, enemies of the Shitposting Spirit, bike horns or goats must be sacrificed each round to keep the favour of the Shitposting Spirit.
Shitposter Quirks:
Every Shitposter is imbued with their birth, alongside the powers which grant them their special abilities, a unique quirk which differentiates them from all other shitposters. The nature of these quirks varies wildly, from dry humour to shitposting in an australian accent - nothing is off limits. To successfully apply to the position of Shitposter, you must come up with, properly define and roleplay your quirk at all times.
As a shitposter, you will be expected to perform a number of tasks to maintain your role. These include anything from constantly and incessantly shitposting on the forums, to shitposting in ahelps, to shitposting while in character, and even shitposting in the #gameplay-help and #staff-help channels on the discord. As such, you require a basic familiarity with all of these places and jobs as you may be called upon at any time to complete them by the Shitposting Spirit.
Shitposter Abilities:
As previously mentioned, Shitposters have the unique ability to commune with the Shitposting Spirit, that which imbues all vessels and equipment of the USS Almayer, the forums and all other methods of communicating about the game. It is the incorporeal embodiment of the metaphysics which drive the actions of the Falling Falcons from round to round, and as such it is your job to appease and cater to this spirit, ensuring that its needs are met so that the marines will consistently meet good fortune.
This is your mission, should you choose to accept it. Good luck, shitposter. And remember, praise be to the Shitposter Spirit.
Apply Here
High Council and Whitelist List
Shitposter Whitelist Discussion
Role Clarification
Requirements for getting your application accepted:
- Fully understand the rules and guidelines laid out by this page.
- Submit an application in the Shitpost Application thread
- Be criticized, reviewed and accepted by the Shitposter High Council
If you would like an example of how shitposters are expected to behave, this is a good starting point.