I'm glad to see that this story isn't full of references like you said it would be in discord, but it's honestly not much better than that.
I'll start with the story because I see the most issues with that and it looks very very very low effort. First of all, exactly how
old is McMillen? Obviously there are no rules about playing your character as a Captain and as a marine or whatever, but this dossier gives us basically zero information about McMillen whatsoever, and if he's like 23 that's pretty frowned upon for captains. We don't know the date, his age, we can't figure out how old he is from a date in the story because it's
redacted, it might make sense that the officer school stuff is redacted or whatever because lore is kind of a pain in the ass unless you have the technical manual, but this is kind of ridiculous and low effort, and even the stuff that is coherent because it's not all -redacted- just boils down to "He was very epic and killed lots of UPP and CLF he is the best marine in the corps." Obviously most CO stories are pretty basic, but the goal of them is to prove that the person making the application put basic effort into them, and here it just looks like you wrote the first things that came to your head when making a snowflake CO, redacted anything that would require subtracting a number from 2186 and posted it.
Your answer to the question regarding how you will run the ship, while they don't necessarily have any problems, are pretty barebones. "I will make sure the ship works and make sure that people are doing their job", but like I said it's not too bad.
Now there's something in here that doesn't quite line up.
If you were applying to play a more relaxed Captain, that would be cool since some of the stuff I've seen from you ICly is of of dubious RP quality at best, but then I see this.
"
I on the other hand intend to bring higher levels of RP among command staff."
and I say okay, and then I remember this
which started just as the Alamo took off, and then this
as we land, while you were XO.
And then in discord after the round this:
Now like I said, I don't really care so much about this, but it makes it look like you just lied in your application because it's exactly what the whitelist council want to hear, "I will bring HRP to the role and be very serious", but when you play XO it obviously doesn't come out that way. If you're gonna play a medium RP captain, why not say that, instead of lying to sound better.
The references thing is also kind of weird, and what makes me think that it isn't going to be an isolated incident is this:
Now unfortunately that didn't come true, considering your CO app doesn't even reference your own character's age.
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Now as an XO when I've seen you, your performance varies pretty wildly. Sometimes you're a good XO and you lead things and it looks like you do a good job. And then other times you kinda sperg out and get tunnel vision or stop doing your job. I don't have enough experiences with you ingame to confirm whether or not this is a common occurrence, but what I do have experience with is one round where you got given command of the op by bancrose. Admittedly, it was a meme round and whatnot and the SOs were kinda useless and the CO joined a cult, but that tunnel vision thing seemed to start again. I was in delta, and we only got talked to twice during that entire round, at the very beginning and at the very end, and spent an hour in one place with no orders and no contact with the enemy (aside from preds) until the end tidal wave came in and demolished us. While this was obviously an outlier case, it worries me about when you play CO and things don't go perfectly, are you going to be able to play the role without focusing just on alpha because they're not getting power up, even when power is a relatively inconsequential action? You make fancy battleplans, but can you cope when they don't come to fruition?
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That last point was probably the weakest one here, but overall this app looks very, very lazy. I don't know if you were trying to ride on vouches from people ingame and hope you can skirt by, but this looks like it took you maybe less than 5 minutes to put together, and the ONE thing you can possibly get wrong in a dossier, the
age, which determines whether or not your commander is a 17 year old pink haired lesbay doctor, is left omitted. All of the other details are basically pointless. Your answers to the questions appear to not be entirely true, since you LRP/MRP ingame, which isn't a flaw in and of itself but it looks like you answered the question in the way that looks best to the council instead of honestly, and I frankly don't see the references ICly stopping since you seem to have your mind set on it. I think this reply took longer to write than the dossier itself, if I'm being frank.
You posted this while I made my response above, and since I have a lot of the same stuff listed above, this reply is outright ridiculous.
Information like age is public record.
Spoiler:
Originally Posted by NoahKirchner
