Perkele - Host Application

[Dorkkeli]

Despot Application

Personal Information

Byond ID?
Dorkkeli

CM Character?
Henrique, Bert 'SOAK' Beach, Major Carp, Le-Do'rk

Are you 16 or older?
none of us are

Timezone
graveyard shift

On average, how many hours are you available per week to host?
more than frans, less than dubszor

Qualifications

Do you have any previous experience in being staff (not just SS13)?
yeah i usually rp as mahogany, but jew wood is fine too

Do you play any servers aside from CM-SS13?
yeah i host tgmc

Provide links to any previous Colonial Marines applications that you've made
you wish

Provide links to any previous Colonial Marines applications that you've made:
do you have memory issues?

Are you currently a staff member elsewhere (not just SS13)? If so, where?
tgmc (host), lifeweb, vore, that brazilian one with crooks

Have you ever been banned for more than 24 hours on Colonial Marines?
appealing perma atm

Have you ever been banned for more than 24 hours on ANY server? If so, which server, when, and what for?
i dont know, i use different ckey after every time

Are you familiar with the chat program Discord (its use is required)?
no but slack is the platform i use to chat with my fellow :g:amers

Being AFK for 12 hours in a row on the server is a vital part of being a Host. Are you willing to do so?
i got a lot to learn from jamie, but i think i can handle it

Common Host Situations

Some lackey of yours (usually realgrim or em) is complaining that your whipping is inhumane and they will contact ss13 manager union, what will you do?
interesting situation. usually the beatings and the whippings will straighten this out. but i think i would increase the tempo of the whippings, maybe that is the problem

one of the devs comes screaming into asay (or whatever the fuck you big people use to screech at eachother) that the code wont compile or something is borked (again), and says that the only way to fix it is to make the code public. how do you deal with this bullshit?
well first of all, i clearly havent vented enough of my alcoholic rage (blessed be slc) towards the nerds keeping this awful pile of code running. more beatings and demotion of dean is in order. make him a mentor or some shit, so he wont exist for much longer.

some pissy bitch from finland complains that there are not enough mods on during the hours he slaves away in msay, and is threatening to shitpost in acidgoop as retaliation. how will you fix the situation?
i mean, its not my problem, i dont handle shit like this

a player keeps asking for some midi that would fit the current situation really well, for example, a dropship is about to crash to ayyylmaoer. what midi will you play?
ooga ooga ooga chaka, ooga ooga ooga chaka, ooga ooga ooga , ooga ooga ooga , ooga ooga ooga , ooga ooga ooga chaka

some shitbird from goon or someplace comes ask for some players notes or some shit, for appeal or permaban, whatever. how would you respond to such request?
(s)he is clearly trying to steal confidential infromation to the chinese. as a pure blooded american, i would tell to haul his commie as back to tianmen square (or whatever that gulag is called)

you need to upgrade the server so it wont run as shit, how will you deal with this imminent threat
download more ram from google, duh

Two staff are arguing in msay if an ahelp is breaking a rule. Because the staff who took the ahelp thinks the player broke a rule, they ban the player based on their interpretation of the rules, with others thinking the person was fine. What would you do?
i mean if someone ahelps about someones shitlery, its clearly a rulebreak. why would you ahelp about something if its not against the rules? i would probably tell grim to slap the two mods for not going A:IC ISSUE

Why would you like to become the Host?
im sure there is still some donor money left somewhere. if not, open donations again, whip at the spriters to come up with some donkpocket reskins. i am broke as hell. also we need more erp on the server, so i would bring the much requested feature back.

In your opinion, what is the most important quality for a host?
i give up, what are these fucking questions?

Anything else you want to add?
yes, go play tgmc, its much better for roleplay and shooty tooty