charmingdus - Yautja Application

[charmingdus]

Yautja Whitelist Application

Byond ID:

charmingdus

Marine Name

eddy skarhendsen

Name of the Yautja Character you wish to play

altair skalautj

Have you banned in the past month or are currently banned from other servers?

i think yes

Are you familiar with the Predator Code Of Honor?

sure

Yautja Character Story

A yautja trained your hole for be a headhunter.
Its devout to the code of honor Always prepared to give your life to your race.

In your childhood altair Always saw the the hunters doing you hunts, and he ever saw thet and said``the are so cool bro��and he have trained your hole life to be as the Hunters of your race.
in your planet altair was bornin a rich Family but he never want be like them so he ran away of his Family and trained by yourself to be the best headhunter that your race ever saw and he got that.

he turned your self in a incredible Hunter and warrior Always fighting and hunting smart, he have a wonderful sprit of leadership and he Always want have a death with honor and glory.

he Always remenber that the hero of your race, that blew up yourself to killed the human named as ``dutch��and your race Always remenber that act of honor. and Altair ever want have a death like the cool hero

Describe how your Yautja acts, and how you intend to play them

he is a ghost hunting, Always looking for the best ways to kill your enemy, my intend playing with a predator is Always serve the race and the code

In your own words, describe the difference between an honor duel and a hunt

In a hunt doesn�t have glory and the enemy it�s just a head them the predator want.
In a honor duel the enemy as Strong as the predator and them they will start a honor duel

How do you intend on interacting with other predators during a round?

Always do what my team want.
but sometimes i will propose ideas to how proceed in the round

Why do you want a predator whitelist?

because predators are cool,they are powerful and smart and i wasnt a diferent thing to play this wonderful game

Do you understand that any player - donor or otherwise - can have their whitelist status revoked should they break our rules or disobey the Predator Code of Honor?

Yes

[Ordosian]

Alright so.. Use the Whitelisthelp channel on discord..

But to dwell deeper into this, the story is hard to read through as its not a story at all but a description of what your character wanted and got... doesn't really say much about your character plus I don't think you really know anything about Yautja Lore... even if its not required, some lore will spice up your story.

How your Yautja acts is basically what any hunter does.. nothing interesting.

Your description of the Honor Duel and Hunt is just wrong.. I would look on the Accepted apps and denied apps to see what they require of you.


Also... Hero of your race Dutch? That is 100% wrong... Yautja go on hunts to hone up their skills and strength, he met his match and died by self destructing so his tech wouldn't get into human hands.. This is not a 'He saved the entire race'. I do not believe you are ready for this as well... This is way below average.

Play more, use the discord help channel and get people to proof read your story.

[420M.Y.K]

Acid goop. And if not the goopiest of acids then no. Many times no, If you were only attempting to write something completely nonsense that i actually cant read more than one line of before my brain starts hurting from trying to achieve the fruitless en devour of deciphering just what the feck is trying to be said, then well done. If this was actually an attempt at applying then... I honestly dont know whether to commend or vilify you for having made me read this so good sir i leave you with a -1 and leave it at that

[Nicksone]

I'm going to be honest. I got scared by reading this.
This is far from what we'd call a standard application.
It feels like the text you actually wanted to send in got run through a sawmill before it got posted here.

This feels like trolling more than an application.-1

[charmingdus]

DOMMYGAMING thanks for the feedback....but my english it�s not the most nice english, so i Always will make a common (bad) text, but thanks for your good feedback, You were the only one who made a critic that makes sense and not only offended me in any way

[Nicksone]

DOMMYGAMING thanks for the feedback....but my english it�s not the most nice english, so i Always will make a common (bad) text, but thanks for your good feedback, You were the only one who made a critic that makes sense and not only offended me in any way

Our reaction was not only because of the bad english but in the effort put into the app. Compare your application to that of the ones who were accepted and you'll see the difference. This application feels to us as if it was made in 30 minutes. I havn't seen you asking for input and help in the whitelist help channel in discord. One of the core questions is wrong and you gave us little to no description on how your predator plays other than 'he's a ghost'. Your story is short and well difficult to read. Overal a below average application.

Feedback wasn't necessairy for us anymore because Dommy already said anything that needed to be said.

[420M.Y.K]

Constructive criticism requires at least a basis to build off of and frankly there isn't any basis here. Nothing is really usable from the name to the story to your answers that show one of the largest lack of understandings in the role i have seen. Period. Its very apparent that you have done NO research on the role or lore of the role as well as the application process. Not to mention this was your first post on the forums ever and your account isn't even two weeks old as it was made this month, null and voiding the app to begin with anyways.

Also please don't try and pull the whole "English isn't my first language" we have had plenty of English secondary speakers apply and accepted or not make alot more legible apps than this. If you are serious about getting this role then get known, do some research, both on discord, forums and background lore. try again in the future. See you in a month perhaps

[Vispainius]

Bad English is one excuse that explains a minor portion of the quality of the application.
It's still not an accepted one.

Even without bad English, it's clear this application is subpar.

So, in the gentlest way as possible to say this:
Have an application which at least shows you can at the very least speak decent English in an English speaking server. Then take the step to actually create a more in depth application which is comparable in standards and meets expectations like other accepted applications have.
As it stands, even if the grammar was immaculate and the English immaculate, I still would deny this application for the quality of the application's contents.

More so, I personally have found issue with you have responded to the admittedly scathing criticism thus far and it. There is nothing wrong with not having English as your first language but the fact remains: CM-SS13 is a English Speaking Server . We don't speak Russian or Spanish or Chinese or whatnot here. Of course, you can add that into your RP or whatnot, but the fact remains, we don't really speak languages other than Englishat allin role-play and game mechanic wise. What this means is you must understand and be able to speak English.

Now for the harsher criticism and suggestions if you are up to it. In the interests of actually advising you on what to do from here beyond just criticizing your application and your English to death, here is what you should do to see a successful Predator application. Italicized are the recommendations:

• Be able to reliably understand written English and type written English in at least average quality and grammar (This is for both your application AND gameplay).

• Revise your application in its totality.

• As it stands, your story is way too small to be of ANY quality. You will need to increase the wordcount...

• On that note your storyis of low quality (to the point of being a meme). You'll need to increase the quality....

• Your reasoning for wanting to be a predator is remarkably worrying based on the grammar and childlike reasoning. Elaborate on why you want to be a predator and should be whitelisted.

• Your position with how you intend to interact with other predators is worrying in the sense you intend to always defer to others (In my opinion this is strange as a predator shouldn't be, to avoid using the derogatory version, a subservient 'tool'). Have some goddamn backbone and give your predator some life beyond, "I cooperate with everyone and will bend over backwards for them".

• You have completely misunderstood the difference between a honor duel and the hunt (something that indicates a lack of understanding of the Honor Code). If you want ANY CHANCE you'll need to learn more and actually read the Honor Code to understand the difference beyond just winging it.
  
  As you may not understand where you went wrong:
  - Honor Duel: Honorable Duel (Worthy Weapons and usually initiated over slights or challenges regarding a Predator's or Clan's honor and very rare). Hunt - This could refer to just the overall hunt or Worthy Hunts, but for the interest of clarification we'll regard this as a Worthy Hunt.
  - Worthy Hunt: A Worthy hunting of prey. This follows Worthy Prey Honor Code rules and virtually every predator every round will undergo a Worthy Hunt. Additionally, for example, a Worthy Hunt of a single Xeno or marine does not make it a "Duel" or "Honor Duel". It's still a "Hunt" even against a single person. They are prey. Not a duel partner/competitor/opponent.

• You are by your own admission likely banned in other servers (a bad statement on your current character as a player). You will need to not only get yourself unbanned or get yourself vouched as not being a baldie and/or griefer/asshole.

• Your plain lowercase simple"sure" answer to "Are you Familiar With The Honor Code?" is worrying and sounds noncommittal. I only list this as an issue as you clearly misinterpreted the honor code later in your application which supports my belief you never even read fully the Honor Code let alone even attempted to use it to support you in your application's reasoning and examples. Read the Honor Code. Learn it. Love it. Understand it. Show us you understand it.

• Finally the way you describe the way your Yautja acts is simplistic at best. I really can't elaborate on that beyond everything else I've already listed which should speak for itself.

Until you unfuck yourself in these complaints you have no chance and that's a reality.

I suggest you also don't address complaints with excuses of language barriers with a server that, frankly, does not care for a variety of reasons mainly ranging in how the expectations of your language status are clear with both the whitelist and server. Reasonable English understanding and competency is expected. Especially if you intend to play a whitelisted role.

I hope this collection of suggestions and fair criticism gives you a definitive explanation on where you went wrong and where you can fix yourself and your application.

Until then, thank you for your time in reading my criticism and taking the "effort" to write up an application. I wish you luck in learning English, the Honor Code, CM, SS13 and your next application which shall come sometime within the next year or five.

-1

[Bancrose]

Right, your forum account isn't even 2 weeks old, The story is...uh in dire need of improvement, Too many Grammatical Errors and most of the Pred Council will find this just unfit to their standards, I'm denying this, reapply in two months. In that meantime please go to our discord and as for help in the Whitelist App Help channel. They will help you craft a story and an app.