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Thread: forest2001 - Yautja Application

  1. #11
    CM-SS13 Vice Host
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    Making a new post as it's been about half a day.

    Responding to your question now, what I would do if a marine I was hunting and actively fighting, fled to FOB and was defended by his comrades.

    I would cloak and back off, waiting patiently for my prey to leave the FOB. I may or may not hunt others during this time, but I would not forget that they ran from me. I do not intend to take reckless action however, nor am I going to spend an entire round spying on one marine that fled from me to FOB. I won't put myself at high risk for one marine, nor will I attack anyone inside or around the FOB where avoidable as I don't want to affect the round in a significant way.
    Charles & Arthur Edwinson
    Synth Percival | Artyom
    Yautja Kjhute Luar-ke

    Record:
    Spoiler Spoiler:



    Discord: forest2001#2001

  2. #12
    Whitelisted Predator
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    Im gonna echo lumdor alot on this one actually. The name is cringe enough but hey least its not teer or tharn. But i agree with lum that its an overused name ripped straight from a generator. The story while not bad could be alot better honestly. Again to echo lumdor it feels like reading someones bio then talking to them and getting one word replys. The actual meat of the story and the narrative is fine but the speaking is hard to read and feels almost like a badly dubbed movie. Not to mention that yea the last page and a half is frankly unneeded fluffer. Both in its writing and the fact its aparent you did it to try extend the story which honestly wasnt needed at all. Id rather read 3 or 4 gold tier paragraphs than 4 pages of "ehhh". I know writing takes all kinds and all kinds have different skill levels. And ill take in the fact that youve realized youre not a (as you put it) "preemptive" writer with dialogue.

    The winning point of your app is i know youre not a shitler and wouldnt be a shithead with the role. Take that as you will and as i have no glaring concerns with you or the app ill give you my +1. Good luck on the hunting grounds
    H'chak Best click clack.

    Alice 'Snow' Falkner: The one TRUE snowflake.

    Lurker 420 Points at the dank weeds.

  3. #13
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    Thank you for your support and your criticism. Should this application fail I will attempt to rectify the issues present with my story when I make a new one, and will attempt to improve my dialogue.
    Charles & Arthur Edwinson
    Synth Percival | Artyom
    Yautja Kjhute Luar-ke

    Record:
    Spoiler Spoiler:



    Discord: forest2001#2001

  4. #14
    Senior Mentor Ordosian's Avatar
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    I have been waiting for this app to appear.. On the 26th you said..

    But besides that, the story is good just the dialogues bits are meh but that has already been said.
    Overall, I can trust you with this role and know that you can RP and not be a bad boi.

    +1
    Ex-Senior Admin
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  5. #15
    CM-SS13 Host ThesoldierLLJK's Avatar
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    Time for a serious post, I mostly did that before cause I was waiting to see if someone was gonna complain about it.

    The story was fine, I saw it in his first initial drafts.

    The play style is fine in my eyes

    Granted the Kjuhte Luar-ke or Void Moon is one of the common names that does show up on the random yautja name generators out there. However just cause others have been denied the name, doesn't mean you can't use it. I think Void Moon fits your style perfectly, and you're not a shitler.

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThesoldierLLJK View Post
    Time for a serious post, I mostly did that before cause I was waiting to see if someone was gonna complain about it.

    The story was fine, I saw it in his first initial drafts.

    The play style is fine in my eyes

    Granted the Kjuhte Luar-ke or Void Moon is one of the common names that does show up on the random yautja name generators out there. However just cause others have been denied the name, doesn't mean you can't use it. I think Void Moon fits your style perfectly, and you're not a shitler.
    In all seriousness too, I put the name together myself from language I found on the Wiki, rather than using a Generator. I'm not much at creative naming and I came up with a story that gave the name meaning. I appreciate your support.
    Charles & Arthur Edwinson
    Synth Percival | Artyom
    Yautja Kjhute Luar-ke

    Record:
    Spoiler Spoiler:



    Discord: forest2001#2001

  7. #17
    Senior Member x31stOverlord's Avatar
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    So, mostly, my disappointment comes from the name, which, I mean, isn't exactly a deal breaker for me, but it is a little disheartening that the app is sort of lowered by a copy paste of words that we know the meaning of, the amount of issues that caused in the past with the whitelist and the players who obtained it "Black Hunter Death" "Death Black Hunter" and any sort of combination of the same words, it does get a little... Meh, though I can understand the reasoning behind it.

    The story was long, not amazing, but you put consistent effort into it, so I will take that as a positive. Some people aren't able to write stories to the same degree as Sir Terry Pratchett, Stephen King, Shakespeare etc. and that's okay. The story is mostly there to give an indicator of what level of effort you intended on putting into the whitelist application and give us some insight on how you are hoping on player the pred or how a round flows for you.

    You are quite a responsible person, I've seen great levels of RP from you, both as normal marine, or event roles. You are quite rightly able to have my trust with the whitelist and so, good luck to you:

    +1
    Wolfgang Schneider - CO, CL
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    Ex Badmin Manager

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by x31stOverlord View Post
    Snip
    I appreciate it
    Charles & Arthur Edwinson
    Synth Percival | Artyom
    Yautja Kjhute Luar-ke

    Record:
    Spoiler Spoiler:



    Discord: forest2001#2001

  9. #19
    Senior Member VortexGaming's Avatar
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    Not gonna lie I thought you already had this whitelist. Guess I was wrong + 1 everything checks outside my end
    Last edited by VortexGaming; 07-30-2019 at 05:12 AM.
    Kaitlynn Lawson The Captain: https://cm-ss13.com/old/viewtopic.php?f=142&t=18802
    Alicia The Motherly Synthetic: https://cm-ss13.com/viewtopic.php?f=149&t=17406
    Ja'akir Aki The Messenger of the Gods: //showthrea...or-Application
    Staff history:
    Spoiler Spoiler:

  10. #20
    Senior Member Lumdor's Avatar
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    Answer worked perfectly for me. +1

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