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Thread: WorkingHard - Synthetic Application

  1. #1
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    WorkingHard - Synthetic Application

    Synthetic Whitelist Application
    Byond ID?
    TopBirb

    Marine Name
    Gabriella 'Gabby' Sivagon

    Other Whitelist Applications
    None

    Name of the Synth Character you wish to play
    Gabriella

    Are you familiar with the Synthetic Programming and Guidelines?
    Yes, I know them.

    What are some scenarios that you can perform combat in? Give us a brief example.
    CMO attacks CE without warning while he/she smokes a cigar in the Medical Bay, there is a dropped handgun on the floor, I know I am unable to use it. I call for security and ask the CMO to step away warning him/her I might have to get aggressive if he disobeys. If they continue I will try and disarm them and knock them to the ground attempting to restrain them.Iif they attack me I will defend myself by hand to hand combat or something /robust/ near me trying my best not to kill the CMO. If needed I will robust them to death. [No Firearms, Only melee or Hand-to-Hand Combat.].

    Synthetic Character Story
    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...it?usp=sharing Apparently this is too short for the preview so I will keep typing to make this longer so I don't mess anything up I hope you understand friend[s].

    What is your Synth�s quirk and personality?
    It takes a while to get to know Gabriella, but perhaps most important is that she's enthusiastic and modest. Of course she's also witty, charismatic and curious.
    Her enthusiasm though, this is what he's often adored for. People often count on this and her responsibility when they're feeling down.

    How familiar are you with Engineering?
    I know the basics of engineering.

    How familiar are you with Command?
    Very much so I have played Staff Officer many times and played Chief Military Police a lot.

    How familiar are you with Medical?
    I know how to preform surgery and patch basic wounds up.

    How familiar are you with Requisitions?
    I know the basics I am not always perfect with it though but I am sure I can get better.

    Why do you want to be a synthetic/why should we whitelist you?
    Well I think it'd be a interesting job and role. I've been getting more nerdy about aliens and read more into Synthetics and thought they were cooler than I thought. And I like helping when I can. I love to work if it helps people. I think my love to work is a reason why you should whitelist me!

    Have you been banned from CM in the last month for any reason? Do you have any active jobbans?
    Negative, none, zero, nada.

    Are you currently banned from our Discord, and if so, why?
    No.

    Do you have anything else you would like to include about your application?
    No.

    Do you understand that any player - donor or otherwise - can have their whitelist status revoked should they break our rules or the Synthetic Programming Guideline?
    Yes
    Last edited by WorkingHard; 07-23-2019 at 09:50 AM. Reason: Making better answers to questions.

  2. #2
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    Very artsy story, answers to the questions are a little lacking. Can't say I'm familiar with your usual character so I will remain neutral pending character witnesses.

  3. #3
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    Can you tell me what questions please and thank you? Edit: I have changed some of the questions so they might be more understandable.
    Last edited by WorkingHard; 07-23-2019 at 09:51 AM.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by WorkingHard View Post
    Can you tell me what questions please and thank you? Edit: I have changed some of the questions so they might be more understandable.
    You have expanded on the questions, however I will still be waiting on character witnesses as I have never seen you in game before.

  5. #5
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    Wait do you want me to like play as Engineering, Medical, Command each round? Edit: My characters I have used have been Emilee 'Emi' [Usually Staff Officer or Intelligence OR Liason or Req] and Gabriella 'Gabby' Sivagon [Usually CMP]
    Last edited by WorkingHard; 07-23-2019 at 10:31 AM.

  6. #6
    Senior Moderator Dorkkeli's Avatar
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    -1

    Do not edit applications to have better answers after uploading.

    We cannot see the changes easily, which makes it harder to judge your answers

    The story was fine, but I have never seen you online, or in support jobs.

    The quirk is nothing special or new, which is fine.

    Answers were apoarently lackluster, which is unfortunate

    I suggest you play on a singular character so it makes much easier for us to track your play.

    Read accepted applications and draw inspiration from them.
    Last edited by Dorkkeli; 07-23-2019 at 02:19 PM.
    Bert 'SOAB' Beach CARGONIA
    Henrik & Leeroy SYNTHETIC
    Rau'ta H'chak YAUTJA


    Spoiler Spoiler:

    Spoiler Spoiler:

    "Honestly, how can you hire this cunt? You must be really fucked up to hire someone like him."

    sexy avatar by Manezinho

  7. #7
    Retired Manager
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    At first I was happy to see the format of your story. The neon green on black fits the synthetic aesthetic, but unfortunately, the story itself falls short so hard. It's a mess on both storytelling and grammatical ends. The story feels more like a report written by a 10 year old, no offense. You don't have to be an amazing writer but this story is just so poor. It doesn't show anything about your synth, no dialogue, the quirk is not present at all either. It's a mix of poorly described events that could be a basis for an interesting story but except it isn't. You also switch points of view in the story somewhere, the weird "commander (captain)" just feel so out of place, making me believe you didn't proof read it. I don't know who you are. In the future make sure your story describes your synth, has some dialogue and presents your quirk clearly. Get on CM discord and use whitelist help channel. If you showed this to anyone on that channel they would say this is not up for posting. Also you played like a total of 8 hours in June + July combined. Make a name for yourself.
    Former staff, also former Synthetic senator.

    Now just a shitposter and lurker.

  8. #8
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    Yeah I was describing two rounds that I thought were interesting and trying to put them into one. It was also late at night. And sadly I can't put Command exp outside of CM-SS13 into my Application. So I must make my story a bit more easy to read and add more dialouge. Then bigger questions explaining more. And can I edit this once I am ready?

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by WorkingHard View Post
    Yeah I was describing two rounds that I thought were interesting and trying to put them into one. It was also late at night. And sadly I can't put Command exp outside of CM-SS13 into my Application. So I must make my story a bit more easy to read and add more dialouge. Then bigger questions explaining more. And can I edit this once I am ready?
    You can't edit your app once submitted. Minor edits within 1 hour are fine in case you correct spelling or something but otherwise what you submit is supposed to be final. To be fair, no amount of edits would fix this story, it needs to be completely rewritten, with more details, dialogue, personality from your synth etc.

    You can reapply once this is denied, which I strongly suggest you spend on getting more known in the game as well as writing an app. Excusing yourself that it was late at night honestly just makes me more confident you don't deserve this whitelist. People spend days, even weeks on their applications before they apply. It you cannot put effort into your application, I don't trust you with the whitelist.

    Make sure you pass your story around people when you reapply, you can even ask me to check it. Good luck.
    Last edited by AcuteCircle; 07-23-2019 at 05:37 PM.
    Former staff, also former Synthetic senator.

    Now just a shitposter and lurker.

  10. #10
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    You are right excusing myself is stupid even if it was the truth not being sarcastic I promise you. And sorry for editing, I usually work as a Moderator in a WH40K SS13 Server which do test everynow and thwn. I will not post the discord link unless you want it pmed to you if you like wh40k. Anyways thank you, wuv you, and have a most wonderful time playing and accepting [or denying] applications! <3

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