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Thread: BatteryBan - Synthetic Application

  1. #1
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    BatteryBan - Synthetic Application

    Synthetic Whitelist Application
    Byond ID?
    BatteryBan

    Marine Name
    Keagan 'Uncanny' Richter

    Other Whitelist Applications
    Name of the Synth Character you wish to play
    Frederick

    Are you familiar with the Synthetic Programming and Guidelines?
    Aye aye Captain.

    What are some scenarios that you can perform combat in? Give us a brief example.
    If I find myself in a position say the FOB it's rather small and we have few people most of them medics treating dead or injured marines and we have say a spitter or a few runners harassing the cades trying to forces themselves in I will act upon my surroundings taking either the closest thing to a melee weapons or if desperate even my fists to try and ward them off in the meantime I would either tell the medics (depending on the wounded their treating) to either join me and shoot the xenos off or to move the injured further back or to a safer place (such as the Nexus if were on LV.) And if I myself am treating a marine my primary objective is to treat him and not fight so I would pull them and myself further in as to further ensure our safety.

    Synthetic Character Story
    The gorgeous sound of the sizzling and crack coming from the standard Weyland-Yutani Portable Grill as it cooked the last few burgers Frederick was handing out soothed the marines into sinking further into their bar stools.

    Meanwhile in the halls marines and MPs ran back and forth at each other like a clip straight out of a Scooby-Doo clip. It was a mutiny and most likely the most pathetic mutiny from both Command and Marines. Frederick wasn't told anything from Command so so he remained neutral in the middle of all the chaos treating those from both sides. The R&R room had now become a room of tranquility where those who were either injured or those who didn't wanna fight sat.

    "FREDERICK! My man how goes the place seems you just somehow turned this place into Woodstock hell the speakers are playing Classic Rock and you're here treating people and flipping burgers, how do you do it man?" a Delta marine wearing a belt full of stale buns said.

    Frederick shrugged his shoulders and raised his hand without even looking up to catch the bombardment of stale buns the Delta marine had thrown at him. Hastily with his hands, he threw the buns to the side and with them, he also threw the now fully cooked burgers landing them perfectly on each other with a bit of lettuce and some BBQ sauce to finish it off. He threw the burgers ever so elegantly into the air first at an MP that was trying to disguise itself in with the group but was quite awfully failing at it seeing as Frederick saw through his disguise. Second, he threw at a random marine with a weird rainbow-colored helmet with what looked to be crayon markings around his lips he, however, missed the catch and greedily ate without looking up what layed on the ground before him. And the third burger to a banana man in the back with a sign reading, "CHIEF MILITARY POLICE? MORE LIKE CHIEF GESTAPO OFFICER!"

    There was a fourth burger but no one was capable of eating in there so Frederick took it for himself not eating because what benefit would it give him but instead he held onto it. He scanned the room and realized that more people had gathered in, it was a mix of civilian staff and mutineers who had given up. It seems they could manage themselves seeing as the doctors were tending to everyone's wounds. The halls were now quiet but shouts of angry marines rose around where the Alamo was landed. Literal tons of marines were pounding and shooting and sometimes trying to blow the backdoors of the Alamo open shouting things such as "GET OUT OF THERE YOU COWARD!" and "WERE GONNA TEACH YOU A LESSON!" Frederick knew nothing of how this transpired presuming that it must have been something verbal and not over communications but he knew for a fact who was locked in the Alamo.

    The Captain begged for help from the CMP and his force but to no avail as they had already surrendered writing their message to High Command. All a sudden the door locks gave in and with one more grenade the doors collapsed. The Captain had himself mounted on the backdoor's gun and didn't even have time to shoot one bullet before the marines threw him off. They cornered the poor lad and both the Captain and Frederick knew it. There was nothing they could do so the Captain raised his arms in defeat. Frederick interpreted this the wrong way his internal circuitry and pattern recognition systems jumped to conclusions he looked down at the semi-cold burger in his hand and tossed it in the air directly at the Captain. It landed perfectly in his extended hands and he in a disturbed manner put his hands down and looked at the burger in his hands.

    "What the fuck just happened," he said aloud. The marines didn't react at all. "Last meal?" He said in a scared and joking manner.

    The angry marines gathered around him and pummeled him. Frederick could not do anything to help the poor lad. Just then the MPs scattered in through the collapsed area and fired a volley of red tear gas. Everyone but the MPs who were wearing gas masks collapsed onto the floor gasping for fresh air and scratching furiously at their eyes. Frederick was not affected by any of it and the MPs tossed him a few pairs of handcuffs. They got straight to work bucklecuffing each and every marine to a seat on the Alamo. In the midst of the pile of coughing marines, they found the bruised and bleeding captain who which the synth took aside and tended to his cuts.

    It took nearly a day and a half before the Captain and the MPs decided the fates of each mutineer. But in the end, all was settled the Burger Mutiny as it would would be named in history was the greatest... worst. and most humorous mutiny to grace the Almayer.

    What is your Synth�s quirk and personality?
    I wanna have this fun stereotypical American dad who cracks horrible dad jokes and has a fascination with power tools He'd also have an addiction with cooking. And for his personality, he would definitely refer to everyone as Son or Daughter/girl. similar to how a stereotypical American dad would do so to his own kids.

    How familiar are you with Engineering?
    I used to be a Bravo squad engineer main and I also had some experience with shipside stuff when I played CE.

    How familiar are you with Command?
    Well, I can definitely say that I am quite experienced with it as I play SL and XO/SO quite often nowadays. I know where to place marines and when to pull them back. OW consoles also are fairly easy for me to function.

    How familiar are you with Medical?
    I've played all medical roles (other than say CMO) more than three times in my lifetime. I used to main squad med not too long ago so all the field stuff I've gotten down. Surgery is pretty self-explanatory to me. I'm gonna be honest here and admit I'm not Speedy Gonzales when it comes to chemistry I've gotten the basic requests almost down by heart like tribica, imialky, and epi otherwise I like to read the wiki for a second or the forums for some more advanced stuff.

    How familiar are you with Requisitions?
    I know how to manage points and I've had a bit of practice with solo req.
    I don't like it but I can do it.

    Why do you want to be a synthetic/why should we whitelist you?
    I like how games interpret and play synths. I really gained inspiration to play as a synthetic after playing Alien: Isolation. Seeing a threatening presence go from an even more intimidating foe was such an interesting point in the game. I've also noticed a lack of synth players I understand that there are quite a few accepted and maybe I just don't play at the right times but I only ever see one or two synths on a regular basis and I've wanted to add myself into that list of commonly seen players.

    Have you been banned from CM in the last month for any reason? Do you have any active jobbans?
    I don't think so in the last month.

    Are you currently banned from our Discord, and if so, why?
    negative

    Do you have anything else you would like to include about your application?
    I understand that the story might come off as a bit "shitpost" like but I made a split-second decision and figured you'd rather read something short and sweet rather than a seven-page story that drones on and on which not even I enjoyed writing.

    Do you understand that any player - donor or otherwise - can have their whitelist status revoked should they break our rules or the Synthetic Programming Guideline?
    Yes

  2. #2
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    Hi! I've analyzed your application for a while; let me tell you what I think about it!

    The first thing that I can notice is that your use of English is quite weird. While you don't have any grammatical or spelling errors, and I feel that you're above-average in your English proficiency, I'd like a prospecting Synthetic Player to have a better control of punctuation. Keep in mind that proper punctuation leads to better stories and answers!

    Your Combat Scenarios answer covers a single situation out of the three main cases in which a Synthetic may engage in Combat, and this is quite a red flag for me. However, your plan of action in this situation is the correct one! Do know that, if there are marines other than medics down there, you should let them fight off the Xenomorphs; not only they can do a better job than you, but you can go and heal up some of the wounded! I would've enjoyed you to speak a bit about boarding situations, and encounters with unruly marines; the absence of these is rather jarring.

    I do understand that you desired to write a short, sweet story. While it's moderately entertaining, and it's not too long to become boring, your weak use of punctuation leads to someone losing interest in the story, since the sentences drag on far too long. Also, the huge issue I have with your story is that it barely portrays your Synthetic's quirk.

    I know, the Synthetic's passionate about cooking, and it was cooking in the story, great. But any Synthetic may start cooking if they'd be ordered to do so when the ship's not engaged in an active operation! The stereotypical American Dad with the specific jokes part, along with calling people "Son" or "Daughter" is missing completely from the story!
    Regarding your quirk itself, it's alright, and you can apply it to some fun and interesting results. I would've liked you to flesh it out more in the story, and portray some situations in which you use your quirk in it.

    A personal issue I have with the story is that it covers a mutiny, which is quite a difficult area regarding the Synthetic's programming. During mutinies, Synths may either side with Command and help protect the CIC staff, or they may be neutral and simply aim to provide medical assistance to the wounded USCM personnel. Making a barbeque certainly tends to the neutral part, but I would've enjoyed it if your Synth would've assisted the wounded. You could've portrayed your quirk in that instance, too. Your story also could've used much more dialogue, and 1st person sequences.

    Furthermore, Synthetics may choose a plan of action for themselves; they do not require someone to actively give them orders!
    Despite the issues I have with your story and the combat-scenarios part, I do believe that you've consistently read the Synthetic Guidelines and you've got a good grip on the rules.

    Your skill-check questions' answers are rather brief and quite weak, and I've also never seen you in-game. I do blame time-zones for that, but I hope someone will vouch for your in-game competence.


    Overall, this will be a -1 from me. While you seem to understand the Synthetic Guidelines, and you certainly read them thoroughly, the story barely portrays your Synthetic's quirk, and I do not know how proficient you are in-game.
    Claire O'Reilly, the vitriolic Corporate Liaison!
    Cassie, the helpful Synthetic!
    Kre'Zuhl, the self-declared greatest worshipper of Thardha!

    HRP Main to the Bone

  3. #3
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    Thank you Anderut, you perfectly portrayed my thoughts. This story lacks the most important thing - your synthetic. Who is he, what he talks like, what's his quirk? I didn't notice a single line of dialogue from your synthetic, nor his quirk. Instead, I thought his quirk is that he likes cooking, but oh boy was I surprised when I saw what your actual intended quirk is. A dad with dad jokes. I would never suspect that from the story. Your synth cracks not a single dad joke, doesn't talk, instead he just stands there cooking while stuff around him happens. It really doesn't feel like synth was the focus of the story. Otherwise the story would suffice if you included your synth in it more.

    -1
    Former staff, also former Synthetic senator.

    Now just a shitposter and lurker.

  4. #4
    Whitelisted Predator superjo98's Avatar
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    Going to mirror what the others have said, the story doesn't show us your quirk at all, like acute said, if we went off of only your story then we wouldn't know that your synth is supposed to act like a dad. If you choose to re-apply which I hope you do, make sure that your synth is the center of your story and has lots of dialogue. For now this is a -1
    I play as Dawson Hook and Brad.

  5. #5
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    Alright well, I must thank you for the criticism. I do indeed see the lack of dialogue I had with my characters instead I chose a more does this do that write and I really did flunk to include dad jokes and dialogue between characters.
    I think I could have salvaged some dialogue from my first write which was a more story-based thing but eh you learn from your first attempt. I'll have to see what others say.

  6. #6
    Whitelisted Synthetic
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    As I said before the story doesn't really look like a proper story, more as a shitpost, which I told you. Everyone else has already mentioned the major issues regarding it, and your application as a whole. -1

  7. #7
    Whitelisted Synthetic Kineem's Avatar
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    I'll just echo what everyone else is saying. Make a story that properly expresses your quirk the next time you make a synth app.

    -1
    Chance Warden

    Duke the Synthetic, Karr'Thesh the Yautja
    ex-synth councilman and retired moderator

  8. #8
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    Alrighty fair enough. Besides the story does everything else make sense?

  9. #9
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    Unfortunately a majority of the council seems to not be in favor of this and unfortunately I have to deny this.

    Please do not be discouraged and reapply within 2 months.

    Ask questions about storys in the whitelist app help on the discord and or PM me or any council member for help on your future app.

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