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Thread: Ninshu - Yautja Application

  1. #1
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    Ninshu - Yautja Application

    Yautja Whitelist Application
    Byond ID:
    Ninshu

    Marine Name
    (Random Selected)

    Name of the Yautja Character you wish to play
    Kuma'El Bara Bara

    Have you banned in the past month or are currently banned from other servers?
    N O for both questions

    Are you familiar with the Predator Code Of Honor?
    Very

    Yautja Character Story
    ((This is clan originated by me if any confusion please point out for me to address)) - The Bara Bara (Barbarian)Clan

    The Bara Bara Yautja tribe was once a clan shroudded in limelight amongst peers. Priding themselves as most Yautja do on medals and the glory and praise they receive upon a successful hunt. The tribe is also heavily guided in Yautja Religion This spiritual presence within the household molded there family hold to act with morals and honor, to respect Yautja code despite how they were seen from outside perspective. The tribe's main commandments; To Aim for the Glory of the Gods and to never bare fangs against you're family nor bring shame. The young of this stalk were born to be thrill driven and naive savages. So at a young age the Elders conditioned their youth into being the pinnacle of the food chain no matter who their targeting. The Elders who are most noticed by graduating to full blooded adults and obtaining high praise upon completing a hunt under the glory of Paya. The very principle of honor and code we're also engraved into the young and only the truly exceptional gets an opportunity to represent the clan as a fresh blood and hopes to graduate to a full blooded adult. )


    (For a period of generations of cermonial hunting for freshbloods the face of the bara bara clan cemented as upon each graduation of full blood at least one stems from there descent .

    For sometime the bara bara tribe were held in high regards solidfying their ranks as elites in the Yautja pecking order. However their rain of gleem didnt stand for ever as a turnpoint for the clans spotlight came soon following the ultimate failure and disgrace possible to commit to a yautja as a Bara fresh blood by the name of Jaa'Bara Bara,

    Captured admist hunt the Yautja equipment was seized and was held helpless on a far out planet with no possible hope of escape. Upon the Yautja committee hearing the ordeal the quick order of execution was past, beesching the execution to a fellow fresh blood that was also sent to the planet to undergo cermony.

    Breaking into the captive and Yautja found a helpless Jaa'Bara Bara and there planned to end his life. However in a stroke of luck lights flickered and the sudden hesitation was all Jaa needed to tackle the Yautja fresh blood down and repeatedly stab em with his own blade.

    Realizing with this failure he can no longer return to the life he lived Jaa'Bara Bara took the ship of the pursuer and fled into the vast emptiness that was space.

    Year following and the Bara Bara Tribe title was drug through the dirt. A family failure that results in exposement was the greatest shame to a YaUTJA and because executing him was no longer an otinion the family elder of the bara bara took Jaa's place. Following this the tribe clan rankings pludging down to that of lowest social status.

    The tribe was ne ver looked up at the same to that their tribe name was no longer dare mentioned with any hold of respect.. (This is year prior to my character, this is were my character come in)


    Kuma'El Bara Bara a descendant of the outcasted tribe of Bara bara. A tribe that preseantly hold no respect and is saw as low tier defects and a shame'd as trash Yautja race.

    Priding himself upon the old memories of his tribe Kuma 's iniate understand of hunting and swift grasp of silent and effective eliminated were stone proof of his descant from the Bara clan. Growing up enduring the slanders to his family name Kuma have only two goals in life.

    1. To restore glory and honor to the Bara Bara Name for THE god of Honour and justice Mor'Tekai

    2. To purge the forsake on the clan by terminating the clan beseecher Jaa'Bara Bara.

    ((-----))

    Describe how your Yautja acts, and how you intend to play them
    Kuma'Bara Bara is an effificent hunter, enjoying the hunt more than the kill a common habbit of a Yautja. There are instances were Kuma would prolong eliminating his target just to have a indept understanding of how his prey think, move act.

    Like common Yautja Kuma is extremely prideful, returning with a souviner from each hunt. This Yautja is in touch with his spiritual side praying to his gods Mor'Tekai , S'ahual, Paya N'ithya and Nytara. Because of this spiritualawareness kuma can show to be empethic but this can also be from the past subjection of harassment from other Yautja which inenvertedly installed empathy into young minded Yautja.

    In your own words, describe the difference between an honor duel and a hunt
    An honor duel can only have one victor left standing. But the main differentiator is that an honor duel is fought under the watch of the Yautja gods as they observe the bout between warriors. For the glory of ; Kehrite Bhu'ja , Gor'tekai & Mor'tekai and Paya is an Honor Duel where as a Hunt is for the pure content of the sport performed also under the glory of Paya.

    How do you intend on interacting with other predators during a round?
    The Bara Bara tribe today is generally introverted living high up in tree house far away from other settled Yautja tribes .This insolation makes most if not all of their stalking more so to communicate within the threshold. Not to say if and when need be do they not speak out like when enlisting their young into the graduating ceremonies.

    Why do you want a predator whitelist?
    I've been waiting for this moment when I can finally eagerly submit this application. I'm pretty much an OG player from 2017 yet I'm just now aiming for Yautja. Back then there race was vague to me but today I basically know their kind like I was one of em! My in game note should be as clean as a new born baby!


    My biggest reason I waited all this while to shoot my app out because to my knowledge veterans are more likely to get supported and not to mention back then my young mind could wrap around the yautja clan's culture to an extensive point of being able to make a solid app but for this one I'm confident!

    Do you understand that any player - donor or otherwise - can have their whitelist status revoked should they break our rules or disobey the Predator Code of Honor?
    Yes
    Last edited by Ninshu; 10-15-2019 at 06:23 PM.

  2. #2
    Ancient Member ChengChan's Avatar
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    I would suggest a one character for you so people will know you. Neutral

    Edited: -1
    Last edited by ChengChan; 10-21-2019 at 02:58 PM.

    Community Mentor
    11-14-2019

  3. #3
    Member Allakai's Avatar
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    I noticed you had posted this yesterday at 11:38 PM. And there is an edit at 1:23 PM. That already somewhat makes me a little uncertain.

    Another matter entirely is of your general application. Spelling errors, odd writing style, lack of syntax and general writing skills makes it hard to follow and feel clunky and awkward.

    I will also agree with Cheng that having 'random characters' leads to nobody knowing exactly who you are or capable of knowing if they can trust you.

    Another being the name for your Yautja feels... very Human. Specifically Hispanic given when you look up "El Bara Bara" I get things on Google relating to such. I will give this a neutral leaning towards a -1
    Spoiler Spoiler:

  4. #4
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    I also felt that way when reading over my pastebin copy and that of other accepted applications. In other words the edits were to clear up some of my grammar errors and to fix those chunky parts as best as I could. My grammar a little shaky cause English isn't my primary language. -Thanks for the feedback and from here out I'm solidifying a name for my solider for community purposes.

  5. #5
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    There is supposedly a rule that says you can't make an app if your forum account is less than a month old, and seeing as your account was made in october and this was posted in october, you kinda broke that little rule. Can't really blame you for that since the rule isn't really shown anywhere for some silly reason. You do mention you're an OG player from 2017, kinda hard to confirm if you've been using a random name all this time.

    When it comes to the story, it's kinda hard to read and the way you've formatted is pretty weird as well. I simply don't believe your grasp of the english language is really good enough for this WL role. The story itself barely touches upon the predator you've created, the majority of it is about your clan and how it was apparently completely disgraced by some random youngblood. Only thing we get to know about your pred is that he wants to restore honour to his clan. Doesn't really make for an original and interesting read, especially since it's kinda hard to understand with the grammar and such.

    The way you describe how your predator is going to act is all extremely generic, it needs to be a bit interesting and original in some way. Not incredibly important since the way every predator acts usually boils down to huntin' n honourin'. But you have to impress the readers in some way, prove to us that you have a big brain and can come up with something new perhaps.

    As for your answer to the difference between an honour duel and the hunt. You should go more into detail about what those two specific things are, we gotta see if you actually know what they are rules wise. You only touched upon what they mean RP wise with your talks about god and such.

    All I can say for now is ye need da better english, ye need da more detail and ye need da quirky gimmick that piques our interest. It's always a good idea to join the discord and ask for help in the #whitelist-app-help channel where i'm sure someone is willing to help you out.

    Red -1

  6. #6
    Whitelisted Predator
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    Young forum account which only has two posts. Both of which are here.
    Edited AFTER the one hour leeway.
    Both of these reasons are grounds for instant denial

    Poor story (English secondary is no excuse, we have plenty who get help to polish it all out)
    Your answers are your only saving grace and even then that means next to nothing seeing how copycut they can be

    -1 Get known, get some forum activity and use whitelist help. Theres always plenty of people willing to help there.
    H'chak Best click clack.

    Alice 'Snow' Falkner: The one TRUE snowflake.

    Lurker 420 Points at the dank weeds.

  7. #7
    Senior Mentor Ordosian's Avatar
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    Everything Else has been said. -1
    Ex-Senior Admin
    Ex-Yautja Senator

    Marine - Paul 'Ordo' Starr
    Synthetic - Ordo
    Yautja - Ordorak An'th

  8. #8
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    A majority of the council has stated a -1 so I'm going to have to deny this.

    Dont be discouraged from reapplying but take some more time with the story and other questions. Ask for help on our discord as well.

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