I suppose it is partly my fault for the shortness of the messages in announcement, but it seems the rumour mill has been spinning, people are freaking out and nobody has wanted to ask me directly why I'm leaving. I should've known this would cause some drama, and that was never my intention so let me put some of those rumours to rest.
This is not the result of a fight. I'm not leaving because I'm mad or had a spat with anyone. It is true that for a long time now I've had several disagreements with members of Head Staff on several policies, server direction and rule enforcement. This is a natural thing. Though it may not look like it from the outside, I assure you that management members disagree on several issues, we each have a vision and often we work out our differences by discussing our viewpoints and reaching a consensus. That said, we're not some hippie commune, there is still a hierarchy and that implies the decisions made by those above you have to be accepted and carried out. Several of these decisions I strongly disagreed with, and while I've accepted and carried them out without showing disagreement in public, this has had a burnout effect on me.
I've reached a point where I simply don't have the motivation to come here and trudge through ban appeals, assigning and resolving them. I firmly believe this system is better than the previous one. However, it is much more work intensive and it's become an absolute chore to me, something I dread to do. In this sense I am perhaps partially a victim of my own creation. Due to this I've been neglecting what was, after all, my main duty on the staff team. For that, I apologise to all the admins as well as those affected by the bans themselves. I know I haven't done everything perfectly but every decision I've made I've done because I thought it was the right thing to do and what was best for the server. Additionally, whenever I did come and do my job I'd be left drained and without the will to play, resulting in worryingly low hours of playtime for a member of staff.
For this multitude of reasons I no longer have the interest I once did in this game. Essentially I feel like I can no longer fulfill the expectations of my position within the staff team, as in fact I have not been doing so for some time now, and that is why I am taking my leave from staff. I think it's for the best that I take a break from CM for a bit. Before you break out the champagne, however, I don't plan to leave, but go back to what made me come to enjoy this game and get involved with its community. A return to the roots, so to speak. I do hope that being a normal player with no responsibilities will rekindle that flame and in time I expect to once again return to staff with renewed vigour to continue to try give back to the community that's given me so many great moments and to make this game a little better.