User Tag List

Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: Pedroca2lucas - Yautja Application

  1. #1
    Senior Member Pedroca2lucas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2018
    Posts
    155
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Pedroca2lucas - Yautja Application

    Yautja Whitelist Application
    Byond ID:
    Pedroca2lucas

    Marine Name
    Mel Kim / The Synthetic Yuki

    Name of the Yautja Character you wish to play
    T’a’jo Mar

    Have you banned in the past month or are currently banned from other servers?
    Nope, haven't been banned from any servers.

    Are you familiar with the Predator Code Of Honor?
    Yes, I'm familiar with the Code Of Honor.

    Yautja Character Story
    "Being born in an unusual clan, T’a’jo Mar grew up in a different way when compared to the others. Every other clan would rely on their hunt to survive and display honor. Normal youngbloods trained from the beginning to achieve the most honorable position. His clan wasn’t fond of such an idea, they used to teach him what’s the actual meaning of being a Yautja is. Being a manipulative observer."

    "While searching for an interesting species, years had passed. Unfortunately, his journey was close to ending. After arriving at the Earth’s orbit, his ship had an uncommon problem, making it lose thrust on both engines. Unable to proceed, wishing that it weren’t true, he then decided to drop."


    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...it?usp=sharing

    Describe how your Yautja acts, and how you intend to play them
    T'a'jo would act as a prideful, while silent, predator. Along with that, he holds a grudge against the human race, since they made him stay on earth for several years, due to the destruction of his bracer and ship. He wouldn't attack recklessly. Born in a clan that prefered to manipulate over instantly killing, he would wait for the perfect moment, using what's given to him by the environment he's at to lure their prey.

    He's merciful to his brethren, mostly focusing on hunting humans, while seeking revenge for the shameful way that he got trapped on earth.

    While playing this character, I'd probably focus on observing more before attacking, my main idea would be creating spaces where it would be appealing to that specific prey, attracting their attention and then finishing them off. I'd be focused on hunting humans, taking care to not interfere too much in the round, trying to keep the balance.

    In your own words, describe the difference between an honor duel and a hunt
    An honor duel is considered a sign of recognition, if a predator challenges someone for a duel, they consider that prey/brother worth of their time, an equal. Fighting until a winner is decided. Only the most honorable may be challenged for a battle, those of great deeds. In the end, the winner may choose to spare or kill the loser, taking something as a trophy.

    A hunt is a sport, the predator's most important activity, while hunting they may search for an worthy opponent, that's is considered memorable to make a trophy out of it. Differently from a duel, the prey may not be spared, and will be most likely killed.

    How do you intend on interacting with other predators during a round?
    T'a'jo Mar doesn't approve the traditional hunting way, which iswithout playing with the prey. Due to that, he'd be reluctant totalk to other predators, since for him, those who don't absorve as much knowledge as possible from the prey, are way inferior. Even though, he does consider it necessary in extreme cases, and won't refuse to engage in a conversation when needed. Those who defy his honor and way of hunting would receive the same treatment as he received, but wouldn't be challenged to a duel, since they aren't equals for him, they're inferiors. Even though, if threatened, he'd clearly engage them in a duel.

    Why do you want a predator whitelist?
    Well, while searching for ways to innovate my RP practice, I was faced with a problem, after some time, everything became a bit boring and methodic. Due to that, I decided to apply for the predator whitelist, since I do consider that I'm able to RP well enough to achieve the average required. So yeah, I'm looking to experience and try new stuff, and I thought that applying for the predator role would fit for what I'm searching right now, which is: new ways of trying to develop RP while creating enjoyable moments.

    Do you understand that any player - donor or otherwise - can have their whitelist status revoked should they break our rules or disobey the Predator Code of Honor?
    Yes

    Do you understand that you cannot advertise your application on any platform for votes. Do you also understand you may not edit this application 1 hour after it has been posted?
    Yes
    Last edited by Pedroca2lucas; 12-10-2019 at 07:36 AM.

  2. #2
    Mentor Memesky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2019
    Posts
    404
    Mentioned
    6 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I've never seen your marine, but i saw your synth a countless times. You know how to RP and on top of that the app is nice imo. You got my +1 for what it's worth

  3. #3
    Whitelisted Predator HeleC's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2019
    Posts
    27
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Greetings everyone, I saw this application around here after 5-10 minutes and I decided to give a try on the google docs link which it was quite surprising to find a brief story but none the less, I was excited to see it. For some reason, the way the story is told becomes boring after a few paragraphs. It's almost predictable because everything is like "He does this, then he does it, then he jumps because of X, right after he does that." Substantially in the imperative tone as the story is developed, pretty comparable to someone in a video game making actions such as grab that, move to X, does this action. I hope you understand what I mean, but of course, I could be wrong but compared with the previous stories, they do tell a story not actions made by a character but a union of their actions which build a narrative, not line after line about actions which at the conclusion you could tell a tale, but for me, I feel like the story itself is told differently and not that entertaining to keep you reading you know? Once again I felt it a bit odd and not that pleasing to read, my opinion of course.

    Also, I do would like to point out, as I stated before I did checked your story right after you posted and I also noticed after reading for the third time, around 5-6 hours after your post I noticed you made a few changes on your history, pretty sure that's against one of the rules and for that reason I will -1 this.

    Overall, a few words repeated itself a lot such as the name from the hunter and 'ship', I believe it could be a lot better and more rich in content aside from fact after fact being pushed to my eyes to process, hard to imagine the scene as a whole because every time I have a moment to catch my breath there's more content to process and they're told in a very 'raw' form, there's no drama, just one thing happened after the another like a turned based game. That's pretty much I have to say and I wish you good luck with your application!
    Aida Clark - The story so far



  4. #4
    Senior Member Pedroca2lucas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2018
    Posts
    155
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by HeleC View Post
    Greetings everyone, I saw this application around here after 5-10 minutes and I decided to give a try on the google docs link which it was quite surprising to find a brief story but none the less, I was excited to see it. For some reason, the way the story is told becomes boring after a few paragraphs. It's almost predictable because everything is like "He does this, then he does it, then he jumps because of X, right after he does that." Substantially in the imperative tone as the story is developed, pretty comparable to someone in a video game making actions such as grab that, move to X, does this action. I hope you understand what I mean, but of course, I could be wrong but compared with the previous stories, they do tell a story not actions made by a character but a union of their actions which build a narrative, not line after line about actions which at the conclusion you could tell a tale, but for me, I feel like the story itself is told differently and not that entertaining to keep you reading you know? Once again I felt it a bit odd and not that pleasing to read, my opinion of course.

    Also, I do would like to point out, as I stated before I did checked your story right after you posted and I also noticed after reading for the third time, around 5-6 hours after your post I noticed you made a few changes on your history, pretty sure that's against one of the rules and for that reason I will -1 this.

    Overall, a few words repeated itself a lot such as the name from the hunter and 'ship', I believe it could be a lot better and more rich in content aside from fact after fact being pushed to my eyes to process, hard to imagine the scene as a whole because every time I have a moment to catch my breath there's more content to process and they're told in a very 'raw' form, there's no drama, just one thing happened after the another like a turned based game. That's pretty much I have to say and I wish you good luck with your application!
    Uhh, I get what you're pointing out, I'm sorry to point that, but I didn't change a thing: https://imgur.com/a/RlZeGci



    Edit: Ah, I'll also answer to what you said here. I'm not the best story writer neither is english my main language, which makes a bit difficult for me to develop a really good story. I did try my best there, of course there are some flaws and stuff that could be fixed and improved, but there's no time for that. Anyway, I do appreciate your criticism and it'll be taken to mind.
    Last edited by Pedroca2lucas; 12-10-2019 at 11:05 PM. Reason: answering the rest.
    Marine: Mel Kim
    Captain: Mel Kim
    Synth: Yuki
    Mentor: 12/13/2018 - 02/07/2019 -> TrialMod: 02/07/2019 - 02/22/2019-> Moderator: 02/22/2019 - 01/xx/2020

    Ex-term 3 synthetic councillor.

  5. #5
    Whitelisted Predator
    Join Date
    Dec 2018
    Posts
    255
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Known you awhile and never known you to be much of a shitter. Love your synth and RP you put forth as her almost anytime ive seen you. Not a huge fan of the story though. Your pred would choose to not only not engage worthy prey beyond getting shot once and noping out, prey that were going to discover tech and everything. Then you "Fake" your death sacrificing more gear and technology not to mention stranding yourself on said planet. Just dosent seem very preddy to me. And i really feel like its an easy excuse to go mongo on the marines and blame your story/quirk or whatever. Hate to do it to ye sorry but its gonna be a -1 from me.
    H'chak Best click clack.

    Alice 'Snow' Falkner: The one TRUE snowflake.

    Lurker 420 Points at the dank weeds.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Pedroca2lucas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2018
    Posts
    155
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by 420M.Y.K View Post
    Known you awhile and never known you to be much of a shitter. Love your synth and RP you put forth as her almost anytime ive seen you. Not a huge fan of the story though. Your pred would choose to not only not engage worthy prey beyond getting shot once and noping out, prey that were going to discover tech and everything. Then you "Fake" your death sacrificing more gear and technology not to mention stranding yourself on said planet. Just dosent seem very preddy to me. And i really feel like its an easy excuse to go mongo on the marines and blame your story/quirk or whatever. Hate to do it to ye sorry but its gonna be a -1 from me.
    Thank you for the feedback!

    Anyway, about the way that my predator acts, I intended to make him overly cautious, making preparations that, sometimes, aren't needed before engaging. As I tried to tell by the story, he was born in a clan that, for them, playing with their prey is something essential, the same goes for watching their prey and learning about them. So, at that point, the moment he was attacked, engaging that large group wouldn't be possible, I didn't want to include the use of the plasma caster, since from my point of view, it'd be way too simple and unnecessary. About faking his own death, that's something that I had in mind that could be a bit tricky, since it's something really shameful for a predator to do, but I tried to make that, due to that circumstance that he was facing, it was the only possible solution to avoid his capture or them taking his ships. In the end, I tried to make that his current hunt, is a hunt for redemption for what he had to do.

    About it looking like an excuse to only attack marines, I tried to clarify it by saying: "I'd be focused on hunting humans, taking care to not interfere too much in the round, trying to keep the balance.", so, it's something that I'd clearly avoid since it could easily di disrupt the rounds balance.

    Anyway, if this helps you somehow, if not, thank ya once again.
    Marine: Mel Kim
    Captain: Mel Kim
    Synth: Yuki
    Mentor: 12/13/2018 - 02/07/2019 -> TrialMod: 02/07/2019 - 02/22/2019-> Moderator: 02/22/2019 - 01/xx/2020

    Ex-term 3 synthetic councillor.

  7. #7
    Whitelisted Predator
    Join Date
    Dec 2018
    Posts
    748
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Hi there, Pedroca2lucas

    We have had a chance to go over your app. Unfortunately we have found your story and characters background to be insufficient to move forward.

    First off I wanted to say that we will never deny an app because of the applicant's primary language being one other than English.

    But onto the reasons why we chose to move in the direction that we did.

    First off, you fake your own death. This is a major breach of conduct for Yautja. Yautja do not resort to such dishonourable tactics to succeed in their goals.

    Secondly, you state humanity is some unknown species, this is not the case. Yautja have visited earth for thousands of years. They were the creators of the pyramids, and early humanity worshipped them as gods. This line shows me that you are either new to Yautja lore.

    And overall the story has no depth whatsoever. "My Yautja lands on planet, my yautja finds prey and kills them, win's many trophies" has been done to death. Sure, include the hunt, but give us something else. Tell us about where your Yautja was raised, what his childhood was like, what his goals are and what motivates him. Add some depth and fluff to your character.

    This application is denied.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •