Ban Appeal
Byond ID? IzzaBinSeen, P0nd33r, M3lachon3y
Character Name? Joselyn Heckendora, Brooklyn Snyder, Alger Greenawalt
Type of Ban? Permanent Ban
If jobban, which job are you appealing? N/A
Admin who banned you (if known) Whitewolf and ND3r
Total Ban Duration Perma
Remaining Duration Peram
What other servers do you play on? Halo, Lebensraum, Yog, Paradise, Civ13, Fulp, Citadel, Baystation
Are you now or have you been banned on any servers? Which ones? Bay and Paradise
Reason for Ban ERP back in 2017 and Account Evasion as of 2020
Link to previous appeals for the same ban (if applicable): They were deleted when the old forums were removed or i cant find them
Your appeal, including evidence (screenshots, etc) I know I have done wrong, I know that when I first started out I was these memey little cuck who thought the world was his to take. I threw everyone to the side and made fun and harrassed both myself and them. And then life came back to slap me on the face, i have lost so much because of that awful mentality I had. When i was IzzaBinSeen I was rude, unworthy of anyways time, and I even hurt the woman I loved so very much. I have done so much wrong in that time and when I came back to SS13 it was like home to me. I would play endless hours just to have friendly complaints with others and sometimes dealing with awful people who have used me for thier gain. I have been thrown such a tough bone in life because they way I was and noone wanted to listen to me, or rather I never listened to them. I hurt you all, and I hurt her, I hurt her so very much, I was going to love her, Love them, become the better man when i got that chance to get back in. But i fucked up so badly, i made her hate me, loathe me, she and many others forced me away, and i could nothing! I hade no home, no family who would really understand me, only this game, only these people understood me. I have been so wrong to admins and people alike, I used to think admins were awful people but now I can't help but feel like I am an admin myself. I can't bear to tell you how no therapist, no woman, no man has helped me regain my salinity and my sanity after then. I want to find out who I am, but I can't reenter the real world because they don't like who I am. There is no acceptance, no world I can make of my own to love. I could not bear her or bear my own child because of my ways or anyone. I threw everyone away and hid in the shadows changing accounts. I played SS13 so i can vent my anger here so that I can learn from my mistakes and become better so when i enter the real world I am not scorned for what I am. I hate to lose, and when I lost my account, when I lost it all, I was broken, when i got the chance to come back I knew you would never listen to me. Noone listens to me! They all think that i am just some sod who will just wreck their server and their player base. I admit I am no saint, but all I have tried to do was make change, to remend what I have done wrong in this world. That was why I tried to apply for a capatain after getting bridge executed over vocally complaining about the captains orders. I then got bwoinked and i feared that It would happen all over again, I feared that I would lose my salinity and myself to him. I couldnt become him again, i wanted to become different, someone different, someone better. When I speak with my strong emotions everyone turns their head calls me crazy and laughs at me and tells me to go kill myself. I can't fight this world, but i can prepare myself for what is to come. I use my words to change people, to give meaning to people so they can do better and be better than I was. I fucked up so hard in my lifetime, everything was aligned, and I messed it up. I was just a spoiled rich kid who thought the world was his to take to conquer. But I realized, through Love, through hate, through change that no matter what you do or say now, will never change what you have done. I admit, i fucked up, I was scared, i thought if i lost this server I will lose it all, noone left to talk to, they would go rat to other servers and tell them to close thier doors because here comes IzzaBinSeen lets laugh at him because he made this mistake. Lets beat him into the ground because he did this or talked to my girl or picked his nose. This world is an escape for me, so I lied to keep this world. I lied so that I don't lose anything. But even now as I tell you my story since this time, you won't believe a word i say, you will probably just read this last part skip the middle go "whatever kid" and just ban me again because I would be a threat to the server and its player base no matter how much good i do, how pacifistic I am. I guess when she asked for the baby i should have just said yes, drove to her, told her I loved her, held her in my arms and said i will never let go, but i never did, i never learned, i lost, i lost so hard. I thought I could do better, be better, but I am a nobody, and will always be that. I don't like this world, I don't want to be in this world, I just want to find somewhere else I belong, somewhere I can be loved truly. I am sorry for the long monologue, and whatever decision you make, I hope you make the right one, because I don't know what is right and wrong anymore. Thank you for reading this, I am sorry.
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