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Thread: zakahell - Yautja Application

  1. #1
    Junior Member
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    zakahell - Yautja Application

    Yautja Whitelist Application
    Byond ID:
    zakahell

    Marine Name
    alexei stukov

    Name of the Yautja Character you wish to play
    Va'sei-dan

    Have you banned in the past month or are currently banned from other servers?
    no

    Are you familiar with the Predator Code Of Honor?
    yes

    Yautja Character Story
    Va'sei-dan new Young Blood traveling among the stars to hunt for his new prey as he lands on the ice planet he acounters with new kinda life form he talks strangle and walks same as predatro and using strange machines for building and traveling on ground , The young blood see thame as wothy prey to hunt and fight them at honor as he witnes the glory as the fight with xenos ,but the young blood not forgeting his maine objective to defeat xeno and mark him self with symbol of warrio and move up in his rank.Appearance of Va'sei-dan: are physically distinguished from humans by their greater height, arthropod-like mandibles and long, hair-like appendages on their heads that are set into their skulls, the culture of the young preadtor revolves around the hunting and stalking of dangerous lifeforms. After making a kill, Predators typically skin or decapitate the carcass, converting it into a trophy. If immobilized or at the brink of death, a hunter will activate the mass-explosive self-destruct-mechanism in his wristband, honorably erasing any trace of its presence to its prey.[13] It is often alluded to that the reason Predators hunt is not for sustenance or elimination of threats, but as sportsmanship or rite of passage, as they will normally only attack life forms that have the ability to provide them with a challenge

    Describe how your Yautja acts, and how you intend to play them
    Solo hunter who lurkes in shadow to wait for the best monent to strike down for his preys, kill all Abominations if presented on planet fight all honorable duel ,and ide in glory

    In your own words, describe the difference between an honor duel and a hunt
    honor dules done with face to face no ranged weapions and hunt is where you stalk your prey and wait for perfect moment to kill

    How do you intend on interacting with other predators during a round?
    only if there is elder preadtor listen for his commands but for others i lone hunter if the other preadtor worth for hunt we can honor duel

    Why do you want a predator whitelist?
    I alweys like predator role be solo hunter with hige tech gear and make fear in your enemays heart, i play avp2 with mostly preadtor so thas al to it i try my best to be as close as possibly to role play as preadtor

    Do you understand that any player - donor or otherwise - can have their whitelist status revoked should they break our rules or disobey the Predator Code of Honor?
    Yes

    Do you understand that you cannot advertise your application on any platform for votes. Do you also understand you may not edit this application 1 hour after it has been posted?
    Yes

    Having discord access is a requirement because of important annoucements relating to predator codes/guidelines. Are you currently banned from the CM Discord?
    Yes

  2. #2
    Yautja Council Member CCRWasHere's Avatar
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    I've either never seen you in game, or have but never noticed you.
    Because this is your first forum post, I'm going to assume the former; you are not a known player.

    I could -1 this application on that alone, but I'm going to take a closer look.

    Your story is lacking in substance from a glance, and after reading it, I found it marred with too many grammatical errors to be acceptable. Find a proofreader. Better yet, find an English teacher to school you on writing.

    Solo hunter who lurkes in shadow to wait for the best monent to strike down for his preys, kill all Abominations if presented on planet fight all honorable duel ,and ide in glory
    The modus operandi for every single Predator. You are describing objectives that every single Blooded Yautja does. If the other parts of your application stood on its own merit, I'd overlook the need for being original, but they do not.

    honor dules done with face to face no ranged weapions and hunt is where you stalk your prey and wait for perfect moment to kill
    This doesn't really answer the question. It doesn't go in depth with what a honor duel is, and how it relates to a hunt. This reads like you quickly blurted out how you think it works on a mechanical level.

    if the other preadtor worth for hunt we can honor duel
    Predators do not hunt other Predators. Ever. If a Yautja is fighting a Bad Blood, it is not a hunt, it is an extermination. You come across as if an honor duel is a flippant, inconsequential spar, and this is furthest from the truth.

    I alweys like predator role be solo hunter with hige tech gear and make fear in your enemays heart
    This heavily implies you want the role so you can more effectively murderbone. I would rewrite this.

    and finally,
    Having discord access is a requirement because of important annoucements relating to predator codes/guidelines. Are you currently banned from the CM Discord?
    Yes
    This disqualifies you from obtaining the whitelist. So, your first step would be to become unbanned from the CM discord, not submitting an application.
    In all honesty, I doubt you've ever been in the CM discord, and you just selected "Yes" for the last questions. A bait-and-switch which proved you didn't even take the fucking time to read them.


    -1
    Julian 'Jules' Petrov | MARINE

    Jall Thar'n | PREDATOR


    Dossier
    Spoiler Spoiler:

  3. #3
    Whitelisted Predator ChainsawMullet's Avatar
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    CCR summed it up nicely, but there's something I need to add/point out:

    Quote Originally Posted by zakahell View Post
    After making a kill, Predators typically skin or decapitate the carcass, converting it into a trophy. If immobilized or at the brink of death, a hunter will activate the mass-explosive self-destruct-mechanism in his wristband, honorably erasing any trace of its presence to its prey.[13]
    This is copied directly from a wiki somewhere. I can tell because the reference number is STILL IN THE TEXT. You just copied and pasted it without even checking to see if there was stuff left in that shouldn't be in there.

    Additionally, your story is incredibly short. Recommended length for a story is 800-1200 words. Yours is a quarter of the lowest recommended.
    Once you are unbanned from the Discord, I recommend hitting up #whitelist-app-help and getting input on your next app.

    -1.
    Last edited by ChainsawMullet; 01-21-2020 at 11:42 AM. Reason: Forgot to vote oopsie doopsie

  4. #4
    CM-SS13 Vice Host
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    This was directly plagarised from the Predators Wikipedia article.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Predat...ional_species)
    Charles & Arthur Edwinson
    Synth Percival | Artyom
    Yautja Kjhute Luar-ke

    Record:
    Spoiler Spoiler:



    Discord: forest2001#2001

  5. #5
    Senior Member x31stOverlord's Avatar
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    Denied.
    Wolfgang Schneider - CO, CL
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