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Thread: Driker - Synthetic Application

  1. #11
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    Ok I read the story, thankfully it was well written and kept my attention. I was just considering making you cut it down to half the size, but I respected the effort you put into it. No one here likes to read long stories for a whitelist. The limit for these stories is usually like 2k words at most. You're a great writer, but for any other application don't write that much.

    Now onto the story: it was great. But is also raises some concerns.


    Your synthetic breaks guidelines in the story. Can you tell me which ones and how would you go about fixing it?

    Why did you write a story about a synthetic just straight up not being loyal to the marines?
    Last edited by AcuteCircle; 03-08-2020 at 03:29 PM.
    Former staff, also former Synthetic senator.

    Now just a shitposter and lurker.

  2. #12
    Whitelisted Synthetic Driker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AcuteCircle View Post
    Ok I read the story, thankfully it was well written and kept my attention. I was just considering making you cut it down to half the size, but I respected the effort you put into it. No one here likes to read long stories for a whitelist. The limit for these stories is usually like 2k words at most. You're a great writer, but for any other application don't write that much.
    Thank you so much! I did indeed put a lot of effort into it, and I agree that I went a bit overboard with it. I got so wrapped up in everything and desperately wanted it to be good, because I REALLY want to play synth. If I ever end up applying for anything in the future, I will absolutely keep it below 2k.

    Quote Originally Posted by AcuteCircle View Post
    Now onto the story: it was great. But is also raises some concerns.


    Your synthetic breaks guidelines in the story. Can you tell me which ones and how would you go about fixing it?
    The primary guideline breaks ended up stemming from this little bit on the application section and my own personal love for the comics and movies of the franchise the server is inspired by.
    [Synthetics, or "artificial persons", are the next stage of robotic aptitude. They are strong, fast, tough, intelligent, immune to disease, compliant, and bereft of the moral and intellectual inadequacies of their living counterparts. So, too, are they a fearsome foe should they malfunction or be given malevolent directives. For this reason, they are programmed with the inability to comprehend advanced weapons such as firearms. As such, a synthetic is able to defend itself or another innocent, but unable to functionally use deadly weapons while doing so.]

    Q1: Do not harm Marine personnel: - A few breaches stem from just this first rule.
    In a similar vain to robotic laws, the Synth being aware of a seditious plot and not warning the Marines is considered action or inaction leading to their harm. The Synth never directly kills Marine Personnel, but his actions would definitely lead to death. there's a part in the story that was purposely left vague for the sake of suspense, but Shaun/Xavier didn't kill him.

    A1: By the standards and rules of the server, the Synth would have done a good few things different to avoid this guideline breach. First Marine Command would need to be notified that a secret plot by the Company and the Liaison.
    A2: When the Marines found him with the dead Marine after he escaped the Xenomorph. He should have been attempting to repair and revive the man.
    A3: Knocking out the Normandy pilot and leaving the Marines to die on the station. This just wouldn't happen.

    Q2: Do not break Marine law. -
    A1:The synth was involved in a plot that lead to the loss of life and property of the USCM. Clumping the bits from rule 1 in with this. As with above, this just wouldn't happen. Synthetics in the server are incapable of breaking Marine Law.

    Q3: Do not disobey valid orders from Command personnel.
    A1: The commander ordered the synth to “follow orders and not fuck this operation up”. Once again, being involved in the covert plot lead to this order eventually being disobeyed. Had this not been the case, he would have done all in his power to have followed these orders.

    Q4: Do not perform needlessly suicidal actions.
    A1: The synth instigates and allows itself to be shot by the liaison for the sake of the double back-stab confession to come out by the Liaison. Again, this simply wouldn't go down like it did. Self preservation protocols would kick in and the Synth would at the very least flee it's attacker.

    Quote Originally Posted by AcuteCircle View Post
    Why did you write a story about a synthetic just straight up not being loyal to the marines?
    Honestly it was entirely for the sake of suspense, the plot twist and to try and demonstrate my love for roleplay and a good story. I took a lot of inspiration from the Aliens comics and movies, where the Synths are more often than not, secretly planted there by the Company for some malicious plot or another. It DID initially start out as a standard mission plot, but I figured since these don't have to be canon, I'd try and run with a “malevolent directives” before being stationed - plot and go the horror movie route for the sake of reader entertainment.

    If you are by chance concerned that I intend to play a subversive Synthetic. I do not. That would be a really fast way to lose a whitelist and I would be a fool to throw all of this work away like that.
    Last edited by Driker; 03-08-2020 at 05:53 PM.

  3. #13
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    Ok. I can see you understand the guidelines, and as I suspected, you wrote your synth as rogue because it would be more enjoyable and epic for a story. I am sure you will make a fine rogue synth in admin events.

    Usually I reject applications in which synth breaks guidelines, no matter how minor, but because you put so much effort into your story, and addressed my concerns very thoroughly, I am willing to accept this. You can use name Xavier.

    Accepted.
    Former staff, also former Synthetic senator.

    Now just a shitposter and lurker.

  4. #14
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    Done.

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