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Thread: Bald Marine's Quest

  1. #11
    Member Roaven's Avatar
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    Wear the paracord like a necklace and dump the M15 in the satchel where you can accidentally set it off later.

    Also, check ID for squad assignment. Maybe we'll be Delta with Splaps so we can be immune to being brigged without a mutiny

  2. #12
    Senior Member PFC Snots's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Roaven View Post
    Wear the paracord like a necklace and dump the M15 in the satchel where you can accidentally set it off later.

    Also, check ID for squad assignment. Maybe we'll be Delta with Splaps so we can be immune to being brigged without a mutiny




    Oh, yes. Identification.

    You look down at the tags around your neck. As The Warrant passes silently through the endless starry vault that is space, the unga gods smile upon you:


    Which Squad are you in?

    Alpha: Typically high-functioning nerds tasked with either recon or securing a specific objective. They are mean fighting bois, but sometimes have bad luck.

    Bravo: They build the buildings and fortify the forts. You'll have boredom punctuated with moments of high-intensity terror. Be a house-maker with barbed wire.

    Charlie: A dastardly bunch often sent on suicide missions, but they seem to have the mortality rate of cockroaches. They always get into the shit.

    Delta: Ridiculous wild cards. Either come out heroes or face catastrophic failure. Enemies of reason, even command doesn't know what to do with them.

    Vote now, or forever hold your peace.
    twitter.com/snotwurst

  3. #13
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    Bravo Squad
    Characters: Jackson T. Murphy - Bravo SL, Engineer and Mini-Engie Main

  4. #14
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    Charlie squad

  5. #15
    Junior Member Flamer man Grills's Avatar
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    Uhhhhhh Bravo squad
    The laziest Bravo medic main that used to only use a flamer.
    LCPL George ‘swamp’ Grills [Bravo (Med)] says, "What a libtard lmao”
    Now I main Alpha ahhhhh

  6. #16
    Senior Member PFC Snots's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flamer man Grills View Post
    Uhhhhhh Bravo squad
    Quote Originally Posted by TacticalSpacePilot View Post
    Charlie squad
    Quote Originally Posted by Jackson T. Murphy View Post
    Bravo Squad



    Gods be PRAISED, you are a Bravo Bro.

    Now that food-stuffs mission is completed [experience gained], you trundle to Bravo Prep room. It's weird that the boys and girls use the same locker room. You are late sleeper, so none of your fellow marines are to be seen. You'd better dispense the appropriate kit and head to Briefing ASAP.

    YOU MUST VOTE ON YOUR KIT:

    ====UNGA SUPREME KIT====

    You don't anything fancy to commit war crimes against commies.

    Pulse Pulse Revolution Rifle
    Ammo Belt:
    [] [] [] [] []

    Pop-A-Cap Service Pistol
    Ammo Pouch:
    [] [] []

    You can swap out the grenade launcher for any of these three under-barrel attachments at any time:
    -Chainsaw
    -Marine Bees
    -Grappling Hook

    ====DIE TIRED KIT====

    Remove brain matter with this one simple trick!

    Pulse Snarbine with fancy Snooper Scope
    Ammo Belt:
    [] [] [] [] []

    Fierce-Looking Revolver wow
    Ammo Pouch:
    [] [] []

    You get the following:

    -Laser Designator for Instant Vietnam
    -One magical sniper bullet for emergencies
    -Six trick-bullets for your revolver


    ====I HAVE A TECHNICAL CERTIFICATE KIT====

    So you're kind of smartie, huh? With your fancy math?

    Get-off-my-Property Scatter Gun
    Bandolier:
    [] [] [] []

    Full Auto Service Pistol Bap-pap-pap-pap
    Ammo Pouch:
    [] [] []

    Demolition-Charge [Remote Det]
    Explosives Pouch: [] [] []

    You also get:
    -Tool Harness
    -Instant Barricade [][][][][][][][] (Smash once with wrench to inflate)
    -Sentry Waifu


    ====WAR CRIME BBQ STARTER PACK====

    Can't be court-marshaled if the evidence is disintegrated.

    Incineratorator
    Tank Pouch:
    [][]

    Sawed-Off Shotgun
    Incendiary Shells:
    [][][][][][][][][][]

    You also get:

    -Thermal (Proof) Underwear
    -Super Creepy Breathing Mask
    -Maniacal Laughter

    ====TO SURVIVE A WAR YOU GOTTA BECOME WAR KIT====

    "Don't look at me, look at the road. That's how accidents happen."

    KRISS Vectormorph+ (Mounting for Motion Detector)
    Ammo Pouch
    [] [] [] []

    Like a big Machete

    You also get:

    -A knife seemingly whenever you need one
    -A heroic scene after every three skirmishes
    -PTSD
    twitter.com/snotwurst

  7. #17
    Senior Member UnwaveringGrey's Avatar
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    Hmmm...
    The only thing unga Supreme has going for it is marine bees.
    Instant Vietnam is appealing...
    Sentry Waifu < Comrade Sentry.
    Flamethrowers were in fashion last season.

    As a machete marine main I have to vote ====TO SURVIVE A WAR YOU GOTTA BECOME WAR KIT==== Besides, Dick Schlobber deserves both heroic scenes and PTSD.
    Typically plays: Adan Perez - A Charlie marine. Otherwise playing DZ-###-Y, the runner that's running around spinning like a 6 year old on a sugar high.

  8. #18
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    The Die Tired kit, because we want war crimes all the times.

  9. #19
    Whitelisted Predator Ugnip55's Avatar
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    The Die Tired kit, because we want war crimes all the times.

  10. #20
    Member Roaven's Avatar
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    A Kriss Vectormorph and knives?

    Fuck yes I'm voting for ====TO SURVIVE A WAR YOU GOTTA BECOME WAR KIT====

    PTSD is just an added bonus

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