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Thread: Unknownity - Synthetic Application

  1. #11
    Synthetic Council Member Jakkkk's Avatar
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    Please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please PLEASE put a space after you write a comma. "Hey, what's up man?" instead of "Hey,whats up man?"

    "his face having an obvious peeved look", synths don't get peeved, because they can't.

    "slight disappointed sigh", synths don't get disappointed, because they can't.

    "she thought to herself if it was the reason that he was a third generation Synthetic,undoubtedly superior to her in design and programming", this wouldn't be a thought because a synth would know they don't feel superiority over another being.

    I get Nero is a rogue synth so you can write him with emotions, but for future reference, unless told to by an admin, don't show emotion as a rogue synth.

    "Doesn’t that sound ridiculous to you?" This is demeaning language towards a crewmember, also synthetics don't act in disbelief; they deal in absolutes.

    You don't write a long ass story without passion, and I can tell that you really want this role. Your credentials are strong and people want you on the whitelist. However, your grammar concerns me, and also how your synthetic acts. Synths aren't human, they act human, but they have no reason to react negatively to things. If a Marine walked up to Kyra and called her a big fucking retard, as a player, you can't react negatively. It's annoying to do, but it comes with the role.

    Can you write me a dialogue between Kyra and the Captain of her first USCM ship please? Keep it short, simple, and show you understand how a synth acts.
    Synthetic Senator

  2. #12
    Senior Member Me_Bigsnail's Avatar
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    Rem and I red your story together and to put it briefly it felt like a mess at times, and even though I admit I overreacted at certain points in the story there's small bits where you forget that synthetics dont feel emotions.

    I havent seen you around support roles, maybe I just miss your name at times, the RnD quirk isnt game changer though you do sound like in general the knowledge needed to be a synthetic

    I am doing a judgement call and just +1 - lets see how the Jakk's story request turns up.
    Vibing as: Dismas Hind.

    THE BOIS (And gals)
    https://pastebin.com/DHCmg4nM

    Shoutouts to Manezinho for the pixelart

  3. #13
    Whitelisted Synthetic Unknownity's Avatar
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    Thank you for the replies.
    As requested, I made a short story to prove that I understand how a Synthetic acts around people.
    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...tPERzcKzY/edit
    Samuel 'Prophet' Logue
    BRAVO n CHARLIE Forever
    "Getting too old for this shit."
    ----
    Synthetic Kyra
    ---
    Yautja Shi'rei Mei'ka
    ----
    POW
    Burrower main

  4. #14
    Synthetic Council Member Jakkkk's Avatar
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    How does the dialogue you sent us show off her quirk?
    Synthetic Senator

  5. #15
    Whitelisted Synthetic Unknownity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jakkkk View Post
    How does the dialogue you sent us show off her quirk?
    I'm gonna be honest here. As I learned from my mistakes of my previous story, I wanted to entirely focus on her behavior to be less human-like and didn't think of implementing her quirk of being curious and seeking knowledge on the ever changing things and things she wasn't programmed to know about it yet.
    If I were to implement her quirk while keeping with the request for a short dialogue, I'd just throw in her asking questions and telling the Captain to keep her updated on what's going on in CIC or simply stopping by to a Researcher and asking him on what is he working on. Unfortunately it didn't cross my mind while making this.
    Samuel 'Prophet' Logue
    BRAVO n CHARLIE Forever
    "Getting too old for this shit."
    ----
    Synthetic Kyra
    ---
    Yautja Shi'rei Mei'ka
    ----
    POW
    Burrower main

  6. #16
    Synthetic Council Member Jakkkk's Avatar
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    I usually don't spend this much time on an applicant if they haven't met my expectations by now, but you're obviously VERY passionate about this.

    Last shot: write a dialogue featuring Kyra working at the req line, and then is asked by the CO what job she wants to do for the rest of the operation.
    Synthetic Senator

  7. #17
    Synthetic Council Member Jakkkk's Avatar
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    Giving you two days to respond to this.
    Synthetic Senator

  8. #18
    Whitelisted Synthetic Unknownity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jakkkk View Post
    Giving you two days to respond to this.
    I'm working on it with more care, that is why I'm giving myself more time than earlier. Since this is my last shot and I don't want to waste it.
    Samuel 'Prophet' Logue
    BRAVO n CHARLIE Forever
    "Getting too old for this shit."
    ----
    Synthetic Kyra
    ---
    Yautja Shi'rei Mei'ka
    ----
    POW
    Burrower main

  9. #19
    Retired Manager
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    Hey, we usually don't drill our applicants this much but like Jakk, I also have reservations regarding your app but can notice effort put into it. In the first story, she feels too human at times, in the story you responded to Jakk with she feels too robotic. It sorta gives me an impression you yourself don't know exactly how Kyra operates. So for this final 'try' write her with definite thought in mind on how you'd roleplay her in game, and make sure it reflects on how you described her in the application
    Former staff, also former Synthetic senator.

    Now just a shitposter and lurker.

  10. #20
    Whitelisted Synthetic Unknownity's Avatar
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    Alright,I believe I'm done with my last take on how I feel how Kyra acts.
    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...YE7UBNiAs/edit

    Most of my time I was brainstorming the idea on how it will all work.
    I've pointed out her cheerful and fixed vibe as per her programming and her curiosity on the current events going on and finally pointed out at the end of her wanting to work on research as that was her initial design of being a Synthetic mostly used for assisting researchers and being programmed to seek everchanging knowledge that won't need constant maintenance to keep her updated when it comes to learning new things not yet discovered.
    Samuel 'Prophet' Logue
    BRAVO n CHARLIE Forever
    "Getting too old for this shit."
    ----
    Synthetic Kyra
    ---
    Yautja Shi'rei Mei'ka
    ----
    POW
    Burrower main

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