Please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please PLEASE put a space after you write a comma. "Hey, what's up man?" instead of "Hey,whats up man?"
"his face having an obvious peeved look", synths don't get peeved, because they can't.
"slight disappointed sigh", synths don't get disappointed, because they can't.
"she thought to herself if it was the reason that he was a third generation Synthetic,undoubtedly superior to her in design and programming", this wouldn't be a thought because a synth would know they don't feel superiority over another being.
I get Nero is a rogue synth so you can write him with emotions, but for future reference, unless told to by an admin, don't show emotion as a rogue synth.
"Doesn’t that sound ridiculous to you?" This is demeaning language towards a crewmember, also synthetics don't act in disbelief; they deal in absolutes.
You don't write a long ass story without passion, and I can tell that you really want this role. Your credentials are strong and people want you on the whitelist. However, your grammar concerns me, and also how your synthetic acts. Synths aren't human, they act human, but they have no reason to react negatively to things. If a Marine walked up to Kyra and called her a big fucking retard, as a player, you can't react negatively. It's annoying to do, but it comes with the role.
Can you write me a dialogue between Kyra and the Captain of her first USCM ship please? Keep it short, simple, and show you understand how a synth acts.