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Thread: space marine pastas

  1. #1
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    space marine pastas

    What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little xenomorph? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the space marines, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on the CLF, and I have over 300 confirmed friendly fire hefa hits. I am trained in unga warfare and I'm the top shotgun rusher in the entire delta squad. You are nothing to me but just another bug. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Colony, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me on LOOC? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of intelligence officers and your coordinates is being traced right now so you better prepare for the orbital canon, maggot. The OB that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, bug. I can drop anywhere, anytime, and I can unga you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Space Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable species off this universe, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" emote was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, bug.

    post more CM pasta

  2. #2
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    There is a topic for it already.

    //group.php...=79&do=discuss

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Avalanchee View Post
    There is a topic for it already.

    //group.php...=79&do=discuss
    oh i did not find it when i looked to see if there was already a thread, thanks and sorry.

  4. #4
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    well i will jut post this last one here then since the space there is only 1000 caracters

    Tell you kids, back in my day, we had it so rough... or so much better, i can't tell anymore. anyway, every day, we would wake up at 2 in the morning and go to briefing for breakfast. we all lived in the sulaco, you see, so it was small. and we would ask, me and my 64 marine brothers brothers and 27 other people, "what's for today CO?". he would harmbatton us all with mp equipment and say "unga". and if we complained and said "but we had unga yesterday" - because we had unga every day - he would BE us all five times with a shoe and say "not my problem, im trying to feed 64 marines with 100 req points", a req point was about the same as half a penny back in the day. then we would head to our mission. we met up with the other squads on the way to the colony, and walked the 1674 miles to our mission. on the way to the mission, we had to walk up a mountain so tall it extended to outer space. when we got to the top of the mountain, we would see the bravos on their fancy FOB - which they dont make like they used to, and we would race them down the mountain. then, when we got to the mission at 4 in the morning, the MP would come up to us and say "you bloody kids are late", then he would smack us all with the cane 10 times and tell us we had 7 years of brig time. then, we went to hydro, and the SL would say "ok line up marines", then he would spank us each 60 times, then hit us each with the cane 40 times each. then it was 7 at night and we had to evac to the sulaco because of the xenomorphs. then, when we got on the sulaco, we'd ask "whats for dinner CO?", and he'd smack us each 50 times with a pan and say "xenos are coming up unga". and if we complained, he would smack us each 100 times with a broom and say "if you actually killed xenos we would not be in this situation" - then, when the xenos got to the sulaco from the colony, they would hit us all 180 times with their claws. if we had been naughty, the admins hit us all another 600 times. then, at 1:58, CO would say "ok time for evac". then, we got into our potato sacks inside the pods, and he would hit us each with a mateba 8 times before he launched the shuttles. I am telling you kids, you have it easy, those were the glory days of the colonial marines.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Axyinious's Avatar
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    What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Colonial Marine Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on the CLF, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Universe, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over comms? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the Universe and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can robust you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have long ranged training that can robust you from one hundred miles away, kid.
    I play as Viktor 'Beer' Kleiner, Matthaus and as Var'dqi Bo'ytill




    LT COL. VIKTOR KLEINER, USS LOWË'S COMMANDING OFFICER

    PROVISIONAL COMMAND OVER THE USS ALMAYER


    Ex-CO Councillor. If you have any questions regarding the whitelist, feel free to DM me.
    Discord is Axyinious#3635

  6. #6
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    I have a whole thing full of shitposts take a gander
    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...it?usp=sharing

    some of the good ones

    'Please no one roll queen if you are just going to watch hive get surrounded and slaughtered like puppys in a PETA kennel'

    'Know what I am not angry at the ravager; I am just disappointed at not getting dragged or anything for 20 minutes and then getting messed up surgery which didn’t even fix my broken bones. The biggest problem in this game is not the bullshit xenos, no they lose when they are bald and lose when humans are actually good. The problem is humans are not good. Humans are shit players that will abandon you for a kill rather than to help their fellow player. They ugna when it is the wrong time and they have as much balls as an unsullied when they need that raw goddamn energy. The ravager did what it needed to do the USCM is whom failed me.'

    'SL's weren't filled out, no RO on start, LZ1 set to primary on Trijent, CE has to run shit cause command didn't know shit, Alpha was assigned fob despite bravo being fob squad. Just... Literally what...? It could have only been a more cursed op if at least three people from every squad hefa'd briefing too.'

    'LT Gabriel Harrow [Delta (SO)] says, "THE GLORIOUS SOUND OF TC CREATING BETTER WORLDS'

    'IMAGINE 5u/5u KeloDerm pills... fucking literal surplus Uganda tier bootleg meds.... my fucking god. The nerve of some doctors....'

    'Reminder that going IO on Trijent is just asking to be man-handled by your new, lovely Xeno Bride.'
    Last edited by Pigeon; 05-06-2020 at 02:56 AM.

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