Ninshu - Yautja Application

[RobBrown4PM]

I am going to be extending the deadline for the final review of this application until 05-25-20 as I would like to see more input from the community, and, I would like you to answer some questions of mine.

1) Is English your first language? While I will never bar someone from gaining the WL if their mother tongue isn't english, certain parts of your application seems as if it were filtered through google translate. I am asking this as you will be expected to interact with the community in meaningful RP while in-game.

2) I'm a bit confused by some of your characters back story. Was he from an entire clan of Trade workers? Because clans made up entirely of the trade caste do not exist. Members of the trade caste do not hold any social rank within the clans, which means they cannot lead clans, though they are honored in a myriad of ways for their work.

3) Explain to me what it was that made Elder A'Ko ho adopt your character as not a lot of detail is given.

[Ninshu]

I am going to be extending the deadline for the final review of this application until 05-25-20 as I would like to see more input from the community, and, I would like you to answer some questions of mine.

1) Is English your first language? While I will never bar someone from gaining the WL if their mother tongue isn't english, certain parts of your application seems as if it were filtered through google translate. I am asking this as you will be expected to interact with the community in meaningful RP while in-game.

2) I'm a bit confused by some of your characters back story. Was he from an entire clan of Trade workers? Because clans made up entirely of the trade caste do not exist. Members of the trade caste do not hold any social rank within the clans, which means they cannot lead clans, though they are honored in a myriad of ways for their work.

3) Explain to me what it was that made Elder A'Ko ho adopt your character as not a lot of detail is given.

3) Around the time A’ko’ho and Pa’i’a meet was the same time the Ho’ko’to clan was quarreling amongst themselves on who was fit to be next to lead the tribe. A’ko being a less confrontational yautja atested the thought, of taking part of the declartion of duels placed in honor of paya in hopes to win the approval of the elders and assume influence on their selection. This lead to a handful of yautja dying for the sake of acknowledgement. A’ko being one of the few vocals on how such behavior like this tarnishes the principle the clan stood on.

this lead to A Ko withdrawing presence from within the clan. A’ko time spent away from the tribe had lead to them meeting the young yautja pa’i’a. Pa’i’a being a self preserved tribeless made the youngin vigilant of all elder yautja bias of their common aggressive nature; however A’ko was different not only in a sense of mannerism but as a yautja as a whole. Pa’i’a at the time couldnt dare describe the feeling the yautja emitted that drew him in back when he was younger, being mature now he viewed the feeling as genuinely warm.

Despite the two having partially different views, at the time they both shared a sense of withdrawl from the society. This shared attitude led to an unforeseen bond eventually leading to Pa’i’a being anointed into the Tribe

2) The Ko’u clan in my ide illustration was a tribe made of a variety of yautja accepted in to the fold aid the worker/trade caste, by taking in all forms of yautja who could be of service to the cause(By cause i mean aiding in sieging alien technology and bring back material which can be of use in weapon enhancements. ) The tribe was established through less formal
means . (concept idea on this clan formation is that ; by expanding their numbers over years to the point where the council had no but to either submitted to adopting in the clan or take a chance of battling against a tribe made up of technological harvesters, and banished warriors alike.) - By offering up their service, and alien enhanced technology to the council, a treat was established which adapted the tribe into offically into the society


1) english is primary language. As mentioned before there are parts in my app that got bouched as i went back to revise the story upon doing my final draft. it included retconning many parts and filling up large blanks meant to better explained.

[Sora9567]

Unfortunately, I am going to have to give a -1 on the application. Too little forum/Discord activity, and neither I nor anyone I've been asking around for knows how you interact with others in terms of RP when you're a marine or a xeno. I personally recommend that you play more and interact with the community more for a month or two.

[JaioAcex]

Right, so as I return. IRL's been tough lately, but, with the time I've had to get on and play, It might be timezones it might not be, but I've seen your character once. I didn't personally get to interact with you. However, on the other side. You dmed me (a day?) I think, before posting the app, asking for feedback and fixes, and upon you finally getting it transformed into a google doc (as I didnt feel comfortable downloading the word files, and other links you sent me), you gave me little time to finish reading it, I was in the midst of reading and supplying feedback when you submitted your application.

However much it means, with the lack of appearance of you, some high confusions on your application. I'll still stand neutral, due to my inactivity ingame to see if you appear more, and have interactions.

[Ninshu]

Unfortunately, I am going to have to give a -1 on the application. Too little forum/Discord activity, and neither I nor anyone I've been asking around for knows how you interact with others in terms of RP when you're a marine or a xeno. I personally recommend that you play more and interact with the community more for a month or two.

I am fullY aware that one of the biggest challenge my application was to face, was my lack of face within the community. I aimed to improve on this moving forward on, but as life goes on more responsibilities pile on me most times then not drawing my upmost attentions at times away from my computer. With my schedule as it is I do my best to stand out in IC as much as possible; with that being said as of lately I've shy'd away from grunt roles, and taken up lead.

I rallied the troops for this application and put a lot of elbow grease on this application. I genuinely felt confident in the effort in ingenuity put into it this application this time around. And I just like to end by saying thanks to all those that had helped me on my application.

[ChengChan]

CORSAT MAP!

You are the squad leader of delta squad and i got confused what happened because you aren't leading us but they gave me the rank and to Lewin.

If you don't know what you're doing as a marine or you're bald or new as marine I'm NOT going to support this application because i don't trust your rping and idk if you're trolling during that round.

A HUGE -1

[Ninshu]

CORSAT MAP!

You are the squad leader of delta squad and i got confused what happened because you aren't leading us but they gave me the rank and to Lewin.

If you don't know what you're doing as a marine or you're bald or new as marine I'm NOT going to support this application because i don't trust your rping and idk if you're trolling during that round.

A HUGE -1

. The position of sl was passed on due to me missing the first drop. A bald moment I could’ve easily avoided if I opted to leave my squad with bald weapons.
I don’t follow when you asked if my attempts at playing earlier was a gag, But to clear up any a looming misconception. I apply my self to meet the expected requirements of the any role I assume with earnest. Though I know my handy work isn’t always perfect luckily for me their is only room to improve

[RobBrown4PM]

Alright, sorry about the late reply on this one but RL comes first in my world, and oh boy have I been busy as of late.

Anyways, the council has looked over your application and have come to the following conclusion on it.

Your clan and character stories hold water and have promise, but they're poorly written and we feel that you need to work on your writing your skills.

The council feels that you are not known well enough within the community. We want to see your name pop up more, both in-game and in the communities various communication forums.

Your application is being denied at this time due to these factors. We kindly ask that you go back to the drawing board and re-work your two stories, as well as going about getting yourself recognized within the community. Do not take this as a hammer across the head. Your two stories hold promise, but they need to be written better, I suggest that you seek help on #whitelist-app-help.

Result: Application denied. Applicant is deferred for 30 days and is asked to apply again after 06-27-20.