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Thread: Fake Xeno Dossiers (for Marines)

  1. #1
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    Fake Xeno Dossiers (for Marines)

    I saw the thread in "The Hive" and was about to make a shitpost in there, but thought better of it and decided to post my blurb here.

    Because I thought it was funny. Take it for what it is.


    ======

    Name: JA-xxx-SN T. MU-XXX-Y

    Type: Drone? I think? Wait a sec-

    Story:


    It is currently day 3 of my escape attempt from the Xeno Hive, after getting a runner drunk on Vodka and having it just vomit me out onto the floor before passing out. I have disguised myself with pieces from eggs attached with strips of duct tape, and have been building walls for the Hive.... For some reason, those of the Drone caste believe I am one of them, and keep me from running off (which is hindering my escape attempt). They do not even care that I do not communicate back, just that I do my job....... which is oddly comforting,

    The other Castes appear to ignore me, as I appear to be doing the job well enough, even as I try to figure out HOW in the HELL they have not figured out my disguise yet, because all I have done is build walls in the USCMC style of girders and welded metal plates (even the use of tools has not been questioned).

    One issue: when Crushers attempt to headbutt me in a playful manner, I think I get a concussion or something....... how small are the brains in these guys?

    One thing that should be known, should this journal ever make it back to USCMC hands, is the LOVE that these creatures have of spinning in circles, and screeching in a high trill...... almost in the same way that Delta and Charlie do in Briefing.... Odd...


    Dear god… get me out of this madhouse…. It’s like being an engineer for Delta squad…

    ~Jackson T. Murphy
    Lance Corporal (Engineering), Bravo Squad, 4th Platoon, Company A
    2nd Battalion, 4th Brigade “The Falling Falcons”
    Last edited by Jackson T. Murphy; 05-19-2020 at 08:21 PM. Reason: I still suck at editing

  2. #2
    Senior Admin & Whitelist Overseer Fortelian's Avatar
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    Get back to work.
    Salvador Kepplinger - President of Andorra
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  3. #3
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    You forgot their propensity towards forming spontaneous conga lines.

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