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Thread: The average MP player, a short story. (documentary)

  1. #1
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    The average MP player, a short story. (documentary)

    It was a cold morning, actually the player did not know what time it was, since its been so long since he was outside, all he knew is that he had a craving for nourishment and to play something. His fat hands reach for his PC as he calls his mother to his room to serve him nourishments.

    The wench took 9 seconds to come to his room, he screams enraged at her and sends her te fetch him yummy buttered nuggets, as she runs towards the kitchen he turns on the pc, with the sweat beggining to pour from his multiple chins he logs on his favorite server, Colonial marines, to play the role he was born for : Military Police. As he selected his character "Grief MCflasbang" extasy filled him as he joined roundstart. He was sweating even more now and licking his lips, his character was now fully equipped when he came across a SEA training a marine in the shooting range, a long grin took control of his face as he realised he could execute the SEA and the Marine for using guns shipside.

    In his excitement his chair breaks but he did not even notice it, as he bit the first nugget letting the smell of butter mix with the putrid stench of his room he aproaches the mutineers and draws his tac shotgun, but his fat fingers dont have the finesse to press less than 3 keyboard buttons at once and he cant find his mouse as his fat rolls block his line of sigth, but by some miracle he manages to shoot the SEA once, but the SEA and the marine react by killing him.

    The player is enraged, he hits the table and his sheer size breaks the table the pc once sat on, he quickly a-helps about being griefed "OMG WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS GAME HOW COME THEY CAN GRIEF ME BAN HE NOW YOU IDIOT RETARD", the staff quickly reply "I am sorry my lord, those ruffians will be punished" and they rush to his aid, the mp is a-healed and both the marine and the SEA are gibbed in a rain of blood and limbs and immediatelly banned. The MP player laughs in the darkness of his room as he finishes his last nugget, with butter on his face he grins and cries in happines.

    Later on he is awarded 5 medals in one round, due to the CO being his metta buddy. He goes to sleep shortly after, knowing that his duty was done, and the almayer was a safer place with him.
    Last edited by Zahra; 06-09-2020 at 06:30 PM. Reason: update 1 :sweating now more detailed

  2. #2
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    McFlashbang, huh... is he part of the West Bumblefuck McFlashbangs?

  3. #3
    Senior Member DekoToast's Avatar
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    God, I could feel the grease in that story. 10/10 taking for CO application.
    Rain 'Hail' Atkinson (Human Roles): Slayer of Xenos and babysitter of PFCs
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    NV-XXX-C6 (Xeno Roles): CRUSHER GANG CRUSHER GANG
    Whitelisted Monkey Damn You Boomermin, the Monkeys will rise again
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    Mentor - 6/5/2020

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    bruh this is so brave I'm literally crying rn

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