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Thread: Einstein - Synthetic Application

  1. #1
    Junior Member
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    Einstein - Synthetic Application

    Synthetic Whitelist Application
    Byond ID?
    Einstein1088

    Marine Name
    Jack 'Lucky' Milon

    Other Whitelist Applications
    Name of the Synth Character you wish to play
    Robert

    Are you familiar with the Synthetic Programming and Guidelines?
    I have read through the Synthetic Programming and Guidelines several times and feel I have a good understanding of them.

    What are some scenarios that you can perform combat in? Give us a brief example.
    Directly attacked by non-human, or a hostile Faction while helping marines or being cornered during a hijack. Also sometimes better run away if you have chance to do it
    If xenos attacking marine near you and prevents you from curing it, prevents you from healing it, you can attack xeno, but you can't chase it to kill it. This is a marine case. Also, if synthetic conrered and being attacked, he can defend himself and kill xeno by mellee weapon. Synths cant use firearms and not direct weapon like OB,CAS and Mortar. If synth moving through the front to his goal, he can attack xenos which trying to kill synth, but not follow them.

    Synthetic Character Story
    I add some new moments to this story, but I am not great writer and writing about Robert 's aventure on ground will be boring (as I think)
    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...it?usp=sharing

    What is your Synth�s quirk and personality?
    Robert tries to be a proper synth that acts clearly as told. If something disturbs a person, he tells the whole truth directly, hiding nothing. Unless prohibited by the Сompany or higher management in the chain of command

    How familiar are you with Engineering?
    I have spent a lot in engineering to be sure that I can do it.
    - use mortar (synth cant do it)
    - doing fob duties
    - fixing power
    - load OB and etc.
    I have experience like field engi and board engi

    How familiar are you with Command?
    I played a lot of hours on CIC roles. I know about overwatch and command consoles, but I also know that synth cant use OB because of synthetic programming

    How familiar are you with Medical?
    I am sure I can do both medics and docs duties. I know about surgeries, pills and their ODes, about medevac and chems.
    I know how revive marines with damage more than 100

    How familiar are you with Requisitions?
    I played on req roles and know about req line, what supplies need fob and how use pods.

    Why do you want to be a synthetic/why should we whitelist you?
    I want to be synthetic because I want to play for mechanical player with less emotions and helping marines on ground and lead USCM to victory! I also want to try roleplay being synthetic

    Have you been banned from CM in the last month for any reason? Do you have any active jobbans?
    I have not been banned in the last month and have no active jobbans.

    Are you currently banned from our Discord, and if so, why?
    I am not banned from the Discord

    Do you have anything else you would like to include about your application?
    I hope I've covered every aspect. Also I hope this time my story and answers are not so bad.

    Do you understand that any player - donor or otherwise - can have their whitelist status revoked should they break our rules or the Synthetic Programming Guideline?
    Yes

    Do you understand that you cannot advertise your application on any platform for votes. Do you also understand you may not edit this application 1 hour after it has been posted?
    Yes

  2. #2
    Whitelisted Captain 50RemAndCounting's Avatar
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    What timezone are you in and when do you usually play? Because even though I know you've tried applying twice, I very rarely see you play.
    Sheeesh this boy LRP as hell!

  3. #3
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    I have MSK timezone and despite this I dont have certain time for playing. Also I play when you have afternoon in your time.

  4. #4
    Junior Member Xywenx's Avatar
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    Comparing this to your old app, you haven't really added much and mostly just copy and pasted your former answers. Though I do like your persistance in trying to get Synth WL, that's a plus point. I believe you've accidently uploaded the same document you already uploaded in your last app, for the character background story. I'll take a closer look of your app on the weekend, this is just my first impression.

  5. #5
    Senior Member BIgboyyo's Avatar
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    The dialogue in the story seems kinda off? Not to be rude but is English your first language? Some of it sounds google translated.

    The biggest problem with your app is that I and others can never recall playing with you so it's hard to judge whether or not you're good enough at support roles to be a synth. My advice is you withdraw this, take a look at accepted apps more and tweak your story accordingly, along with getting some people who can vouch for your skills in support. You clearly want this whitelist very much and its admirable, but I don't think you're gonna get it this try man -1
    Nathon Stafford-Sunglasses wearing Delta L42 kiter man. Sometimes a Captain.
    Benedict-Praiser of Jesus, healer of marines, killer of Queens.
    Kahn'Ikesh-Blooded Hunter and great grandson of Gor'don Ram-sey
    (pfp by Manezinho)
    medals:https://pastebin.com/xiCJLuhz
    Mapper since 12/29/2020
    Had dev role assasinated on 8/2/21


    Synth Councilor as of 2/5/21 along with Jakk, Frogzeke, Yukonsnow, and Flpls
    DM what#3954 for help with Synth Applications

  6. #6
    Whitelisted Synthetic Azbru's Avatar
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    I don't recall seeing you around so it's hard to judge your competence on support roles required for the WL.
    The story and the app itself feel off, I understand English might not be your first language (It isn't mine) but you should put in a bit more effort, to help your overall presentation.
    Your commitment to getting this WL is admirable, that's definitely a plus.
    The content of the story is somewhat lackluster, nothing really interesting and unique about your character. All synths do as told by command.

    My recommendation is that you look at the Accepted apps and see how they are structured, written and find inspiration for an unique quirk that your character can have.
    We have chaplain synths, cowboy synths, and many other unique quirks that make their character different. Try to find one of your own that you can implement in-game.

    Good luck on future applications, take the advice everyone is giving you and I'm sure you will do way better next time!
    Last edited by Azbru; 08-13-2020 at 06:29 PM.
    Renault the tin can
    Bruno 'Nines' Rodriguez, local Unga
    Lithos S'eer the Vietnamese tree

    The medals

    Spoiler Spoiler:

  7. #7
    Ancient Member
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    I missed your first two applications..

    I am surprised that no one has mentioned your quirk yet. Frankly, it isn't one. All synths tell the truth, and all synths act properly. You will need something that makes you stand out as a unique individual. I think this is why you are struggling to write an interesting story. IE quirk is not a quirk.

    The story.. I am having a difficulty time tracking throughout. And that which I can understand doesnt seem to make very much sense. For example:

    After a long line of medics and Marines who wanted a drink of last resort, synth was finally given the equipment and go to cargo. Here Robert saw a Great Queue.
    Oh no, I’ll miss the first drop. Captain will punish me.


    1. This is written strangely. 2. What is a "drink of last resort"? Are you talking about medicine from chemistry? 3. I get waiting in line for medicines, but the previous sentence stated you were going to be making them. 4. Why would you go to cargo for a surgical tray? (this isnt very outlandish but it's one of the last places I would go). 5. The captain cant really punish you for missing the first drop.


    Bluntly, this is your third application, and I admire your dedication. However, your quirk is not a quirk. Your story doesn't reveal much about who you are playing and I have problems with it. And finally, since it is your third attempt I would expect that you would make sure that you have everything as perfect as possible. A sentence like "I add some new moments to this story, but I am not great writer and writing about Robert 's aventure on ground will be boring (as I think)" raises eyebrows.

    This feels... like english maybe isn't your first language.


    Think of an original quirk, run it by whitelist application help. When you have a good one, I would just rewrite your entire story around it. Have someone in there proofread for you. Then fill out this application like it's a job application.

    -1 but I have hope for next time.
    Felix the Synth: hat fanatic, nice robot, one time double agent almayer synth executed for sedition. Occasional murderous mopbot.

  8. #8
    Synthetic Council Member Yukonsnow's Avatar
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    Beardedwall is right, with a workable quirk you might have a better time creating an engaging story. You REALLY need more people to proofread this because it's written in such a wonky manner. Look over other player applications but look at their stories and try to get a better understanding of how synthetics are supposed to operate and what is expected of them.

    -1 I do have high hopes for your next application if you follow everyone's advice.
    gaming

    Discord: Yukonsnow#7186

    Synthetic Technician Dan, message me about any Synthetic WL questions, I'll help as best I can.

  9. #9
    Whitelisted Synthetic CallunaBorealis's Avatar
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    I think maybe it's a timezone thing but I vaguely remember seeing you only once or twice before as a marine, CMO and doctor so I will not be able to vouch for your competencies in support roles for this application.

    For your quirk and story: Like others have mentioned, you seem to have went back to the quirk you applied in the second app. This quirk you submitted isn't really one in my opinion. Your synth's quirk needs to complement the core synthetic character, not describe an aspect of all synthetics. Since most of your character's quirk will be shown in how you talk to people, my advice is to rethink your quirk, try to get feedback on it with other people, then flesh it out in terms of the written tone, syntax and vocabulary of your synthetic character in reaction to events that happen in your story, preferably to events that occur in a normal Distress Signal round.

    I do admire your persistence as this is your third application, so unfortunately this will be -1 for me for now, but you should reach out in #whitelist-app-help on Discord to get feedback from other people on your quirk and story before applying next time.

    Good luck!
    Last edited by CallunaBorealis; 08-14-2020 at 04:56 AM. Reason: Minor edit: first app -> second app
    Shore leave approved for all my characters, enjoying the beaches of New Hawaii until further notice.

    Plays as Heather Tanigawa (Intel and everything else), Erica Picotte (Medical) and Angela Ochoa (Engineering) in the USCM.

    Aissa the Synthetic, a former waitress for a Cuban-themed restaurant franchise.

    CB-** the Beno.

  10. #10
    Retired Manager Doctorprobe69's Avatar
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    I will keep this short and sweet

    Your quirk isn't really something all that special, honestly quite bland. A quirk is meant to be creative, allowing more Role-Playing Possibilities. Yours is how an average Synth would behave.

    Quite honestly I don't recall ever seeing you in game, nor in any support roles; thus I cannot really vouch for your competence in such.

    Lastly your story was choppy to read, I suggest you read over it a few times before posting and utilize the #Whitelist-App-Help channel.

    I do like how you continually apply, I like your initiative, personally DM me next time before you apply. I want to see you actually get it one of these days.

    -1
    Mentor 1st Mar, 2020 - 11th Apr, 2020
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