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Thread: MixMash - Synthetic Application

  1. #1
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    MixMash - Synthetic Application

    Synthetic Whitelist Application
    Personal InformationByond ID?
    MixMash

    Marine Name
    Robert 'Spades' Calafax

    Other Whitelist Applications
    None

    Character InformationName of the Synth Character you wish to play
    Jordon

    What is your Synth�s quirk and personality?
    My Synth's quirk is that he's always happy. Hops and Skips everywhere. He likes to help no matter the situation. He will never feel sad or unhappy he will always move on and keep doing what he is assigned todo.

    Why do you want to be a synthetic/why should we whitelist you?
    I find joy in a non-combative role. I would rather not get in the way or be a nuisance. I tend to non-combat roles. Most of my playtimes are in non-combat roles. Two of my most top played roles are Chief of Military Police and Senior Enlisted Advisor. I wish to be helpful rather than get in the way. Id love to have a different experience towards just blindly going into combat. I like to support rather than do frontline combat all the time. It gets tedious and having that unique role and personality to do that support role is great for me.

    Synthetic Character Story
    The year is 2178. The year that the Almayer set off on long lasting patrols around the Anglo-Japanese boarder. In Corporate Run Outer Rim Colonies.

    Average day around the Almayer. Jordon proceeds to be working on a Junction around the engineering bay. Then suddenly hears

    'AAAAAAAH'

    In the Distance hearing a blood curdling scream. Jordon as his programming allows rushes towards to the scream and see's a Engineer lying on the floor with his leg chopped off from a laser realignment lens from the Point defence system released a charge and scorched the engineering deck across with a black line.

    Jordon then proceeds to ask the engineer by the name of Joel

    'Are you okay sir? You appear to be missing a leg. May I assist you?'

    Joel responds with.

    'ARE YOU KIDDING ME, YES! HELP ME FOR THE LOVE GOD'

    Jordon then proceeds to then grab the man and carry him to the med bay with no leg.

    They get to med bay and Joel is lieing on a surgical bed and the doctor by the name of Calvin asks

    'So what happend here?'

    Jordon responds all cheery

    'He seems to have cut his leg off with his work' He blissfully smiles

    Calvin responds

    'Work related incident then. Do care to explain the details'

    Jordon responds with a positive smile

    'Well by the looks of it he was working on the point defence lasers and must of misaligned the lens and discharged the cell which must of rebounded the laser'

    Jordon remarks with a little smirk

    Calvin Responds

    'Oh dear. An engineers job is never an easy one or a least dangerous one'

    As he begins unpacking his surgical tools and cauterizing the wound and getting ready for the leg replacement

    Calvin speaks

    'Jordon. Why don't you go run along and make sure that lens is realigned we wont want any more engineers losing limbs okay?'

    Jordon responds with a eager smile

    'Yes. On the way. Make sure Joel is alright doc. He's a good engineer'

    As Jordon is leaving to the Engineering bay. Calvin says

    'I will Jordon. Don't you worry'

    Jordon waves as he walks out the room and says

    'I never do doctor!'

    Jordon happily walks back smiling all the way back to the engineering bay and proceeds to work on the point defence lens and properly fixes it with great efficacy.

    ExperienceHow familiar are you with Engineering?
    I am familiar with alot of aspects of engineering

    Including:
    Construction
    Deconstruction
    Repairing
    Barricade Placement
    Barricade Removal
    Light Replacement
    SMES
    Generators
    Hacking
    ASRS Hacking

    How familiar are you with Command?
    Command is one of my weakest points

    But I am fimiliar with some aspects such as:
    OB Coordinating
    Overwatch
    Tactical Maps
    Ground Command

    How familiar are you with Medical?
    Medical I would say. Is my strongest Point

    I know things such as:
    Surgury
    Making Mixtures
    Making Chems (Fast)
    Helping with Research
    First Aid
    Combat Aid
    Patient Management
    Procedures

    How familiar are you with Requisitions?
    I am very familiar with Requisitions as I do it all the time as SEA

    I know things such as:
    Ordering
    Stamping
    Line Requests
    Ordering Requests
    Supply Drops
    Radio Protocol
    ASRS Hacking (Forbidden for Synths)

    What are some scenarios that you can perform combat in? Give us a brief example.
    An example would be. A doctor is being harassed by a lurker and the lurker will not leave the doctor alone and the doctor goes down due to being knocked down by the lurker and then the lurker starts to attack me and I have to defend both me and the doctor by brandishing a melee weapon to deter the lurker. then I would rescue the doctor and not chase him as that is not my role.

    ConfirmationsAre you familiar with the Synthetic Programming and Guidelines?
    Yes

    Do you understand that any player - donor or otherwise - can have their whitelist status revoked should they break our rules or the Synthetic Programming Guideline?
    Yes

    Do you understand that you cannot advertise your application on any platform for votes. Do you also understand you may not edit this application 1 hour after it has been posted?
    Yes

    Have you been banned from CM in the last month for any reason? Do you have any active jobbans?
    No

    Are you currently banned from our Discord, and if so, why?
    No

    Other InformationDo you have anything else you would like to include about your application?
    I apologise for the lack of story. I am not a very creative person. I can and I will try making better stories in the future if my app is denied. But I am thinking of working towards better stories if I apply for other whitelists

  2. #2
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    I think synth shouldnt be able to feel to begin with so you writing he can't feel is redundant

  3. #3
    Whitelisted Captain 50RemAndCounting's Avatar
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    First of all, thank you for applying for the synthetic whitelist, no matter what some might say we here are always glad to see applicants genuinely interested in applying for this whitelisted role, no matter what some others may claim about us and our attitudes.

    Now, let's break this app down and review it, as is custom:

    -While it's an ok name, I have to ask: how come you didn't pick Jordan? Maybe it's just me but Jordon sounds like a typo. Anyways.

    -The quirk selection is, I'm sorry to say, not up to par at all. Making your synthetic have a happy, sunny, cheerful disposition is a perfectly acceptable and good as a quirk choice, however a small measure of depth would be required to properly describe and flesh it out. A quirk is not something that's supposed to be a million percent unique signature feature of your desired synthetic character, it is simply an outstanding behavior pattern that is there to ensure the synth has some sort of distinct enough personality, as one of the ultimate design goals of Almayer synths is to be able to interact and socialize with the rest of the marine crew as if they were a normal human being themselves. Furthermore I do not understand how the rest of your quirk would work. Do you intend to emote yourself hopping and skipping wherever you go? Finally, synths only emulate emotions, mainly for purposes of socializationy, and do not actually feel them. In short, this quirk is not a quirk and it does not follow the whitelist's roleplay standards listed in the server rules page.

    -the story is, sadly, similarly lackluster and concerning. Your character's behavior is not even what I expected based on the quirk description. A synth smiling as he explains how a member of the corps lost his leg would freak the hell out of anyone listening to them, it's bad. Besides that, the story does not have nearly enough content to it to showcase how your synthetic acts. More importantly, I've noticed a significant number of grammatical errors, which is a major no-go. All synth players need to be good english speakers and applicants have all the time in world to put out a good, proofread app, and the lack of former signifies a lack of effort put into it.

    -I'm personally familiar with your marine name and vaguely remember you playing all the support roles listed here. I have reason to believe you indeed posess the necessary levels lf competency here, but getting other known support players to vouch for you is the most reliable way of proving it, though still optional. Yet, as always, it goes a long way to help us make an informed verdict the more known you are.

    In conclusion, your interrest and honesty in your app answers are greatly appreciated. Unfortunately this application is not up to the standard, as described in full detail above.

    -1
    Sheeesh this boy LRP as hell!

  4. #4
    Synthetic Council Member
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    What 50Rem said.

    -1

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by 50RemAndCounting View Post
    First of all, thank you for applying for the synthetic whitelist, no matter what some might say we here are always glad to see applicants genuinely interested in applying for this whitelisted role, no matter what some others may claim about us and our attitudes.

    Now, let's break this app down and review it, as is custom:

    -While it's an ok name, I have to ask: how come you didn't pick Jordan? Maybe it's just me but Jordon sounds like a typo. Anyways.

    -The quirk selection is, I'm sorry to say, not up to par at all. Making your synthetic have a happy, sunny, cheerful disposition is a perfectly acceptable and good as a quirk choice, however a small measure of depth would be required to properly describe and flesh it out. A quirk is not something that's supposed to be a million percent unique signature feature of your desired synthetic character, it is simply an outstanding behavior pattern that is there to ensure the synth has some sort of distinct enough personality, as one of the ultimate design goals of Almayer synths is to be able to interact and socialize with the rest of the marine crew as if they were a normal human being themselves. Furthermore I do not understand how the rest of your quirk would work. Do you intend to emote yourself hopping and skipping wherever you go? Finally, synths only emulate emotions, mainly for purposes of socializationy, and do not actually feel them. In short, this quirk is not a quirk and it does not follow the whitelist's roleplay standards listed in the server rules page.

    -the story is, sadly, similarly lackluster and concerning. Your character's behavior is not even what I expected based on the quirk description. A synth smiling as he explains how a member of the corps lost his leg would freak the hell out of anyone listening to them, it's bad. Besides that, the story does not have nearly enough content to it to showcase how your synthetic acts. More importantly, I've noticed a significant number of grammatical errors, which is a major no-go. All synth players need to be good english speakers and applicants have all the time in world to put out a good, proofread app, and the lack of former signifies a lack of effort put into it.

    -I'm personally familiar with your marine name and vaguely remember you playing all the support roles listed here. I have reason to believe you indeed posess the necessary levels lf competency here, but getting other known support players to vouch for you is the most reliable way of proving it, though still optional. Yet, as always, it goes a long way to help us make an informed verdict the more known you are.

    In conclusion, your interrest and honesty in your app answers are greatly appreciated. Unfortunately this application is not up to the standard, as described in full detail above.

    -1
    Thank you for the feedback, I try to be truly honest with myself and understand my failings even though sometimes I may not see them.
    Your feedback is appreciated a lot, As too where I got the name Jordon. It's my real name. It's a french spelling of Jordan

  6. #6
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    @MixMash
    you gotta play a support role a bit more! I'm unsure of how well you'll go as a synth so I'll keep on watching you before saying anything.

  7. #7
    Senior Admin & Whitelist Overseer Fortelian's Avatar
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    I believe I have seen you in some support roles, so that is nice, but 50rem summed up the problem with this application with the quirk and story. Next time you apply, make sure to talk to others and get feedback. Always good to get help.
    Salvador Kepplinger - President of Andorra
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    Senior mentor

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  8. #8
    Synthetic Council Member Yukonsnow's Avatar
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    Heyyo.

    Bouncing off what 50rem said, frequent grammatical errors definitely threw me off while reading your application. A few are 100% fine but when it becomes frequent I have some issues.
    You'll definitely want to flesh your quirk out to make it stand out, as the cheerful, optimistic synth quirk is overdone in my opinion.

    Overall, you have promise and I thank you for applying. There was not a lack of effort here I just think you'll need a few more pointers from other members of the community. Asking for help from the synthetic councilors is another way to get a great head start on your next app if you choose to retry. We can definitely help you with your choice of quirk.
    -1
    gaming

    Discord: Yukonsnow#7186

    Synthetic Technician Dan, message me about any Synthetic WL questions, I'll help as best I can.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yukonsnow View Post
    Heyyo.

    Bouncing off what 50rem said, frequent grammatical errors definitely threw me off while reading your application. A few are 100% fine but when it becomes frequent I have some issues.
    You'll definitely want to flesh your quirk out to make it stand out, as the cheerful, optimistic synth quirk is overdone in my opinion.

    Overall, you have promise and I thank you for applying. There was not a lack of effort here I just think you'll need a few more pointers from other members of the community. Asking for help from the synthetic councilors is another way to get a great head start on your next app if you choose to retry. We can definitely help you with your choice of quirk.
    -1
    I thank you for the feedback and I am most appreciative. I will try to give more of a creative outlook towards how to word myself better and how to give my synthetic a better story. I will definitely ask for more help in the future as too how to properly give the synthetic a proper quirk.

  10. #10
    Synthetic Council Member Jakkkk's Avatar
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    This app is being denied. Read the accepted applications, get better at English, and read my guide on getting synth whitelisted.

    Thanks for applying!
    Synthetic Senator

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