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Thread: FrankTheMagicPotato - Yautja Application

  1. #1
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    FrankTheMagicPotato - Yautja Application

    Yautja Whitelist Application
    Personal InformationByond ID:
    FrankTheMagicPotato

    Discord ID
    FrankTheMagicPotato#5067

    Marine Name
    Connie Jaegar, AP-111-E

    Character InformationName of the Yautja Character you wish to play
    Pau'thi Bo'ytill

    Name and history of your Yautja’s clan:
    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...it?usp=sharing
    Twas a bit short, only 744 words, but I feel I covered the sect well, and I spent much more time on the story.

    Yautja Character Story
    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...it?usp=sharing

    1921 words. I had a lot of fun writing this story. While I'm not the best at writing action sequences, I tried my best, and I feel it came out okay.

    Excerpt for character limits:

    A high pitched whistle echoed down the dark tunnel as Pau’thi pressed a button on his bracer. Hundreds of meters away, his hound heard the signal turn and rushed up the shaft, leading several towering R’ka towards its apprehensive master. This was Pau’thi’s first time hunting serpents, and he wasn’t sure what to expect. He’d fought them before, during his blooding rites, but not in such large numbers. He’d seen the mangled, bloody corpses of kv’var-des who were overcome by the serpents. While he had confidence in his hound and his abilities, hunting anything for the first time was always stressful. Hearing the thundering footsteps of his hound getting ever closer, he readied himself for combat, extending his combi-stick to its full length, and donning his bio-helmet.

    ConfirmationsHave you read the honor code and do you understand that if you breach the honor code you may be subject to disciplinary action and have your whitelist revoked for a set amount of time?
    Yes

    Do you understand that any behavior that is unbecoming of a member of the community may result in you having your whitelist revoked? Such things include, but are not limited to: Racism, toxicity, excessive or malicious trolling, abuse of staff or etc.
    Yes

    Do you understand that you may face having your whitelist revoked, or other disciplinary action undertaken, should you be banned or warned on the CM discord?
    Yes

    Do you understand that you cannot advertise your application on any platform for votes. Do you also understand you may not edit this application 1 hour after it has been posted?
    Yes

    Do you understand that community members may report your in-game actions on the forums, and that you may be asked to defend your actions.
    Yes

  2. #2
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    Cant help but notice the numerous suggestions on your character story, Might want to fix that somehow.

  3. #3
    Junior Member Joe Lampost's Avatar
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    Another young Bo'ytill to abuse +1 also great app. I'm sure when Neko stains this page with his crayon giving you HC quetions you will do well.

  4. #4
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    Thanks for the kind words. I'll get on those suggestions ASAP, currently dealing with something IRL but I'll try to get it done in the next few hours.
    Last edited by FrankTheMagicPotato; 03-30-2021 at 01:24 AM.
    Connie Jaegar, evil MP
    AP-111-E, rooner
    Pau'thi Bo'ytill, unrobust pred
    also funny mentor

  5. #5
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    Looking at the suggestions again, those are all good points and it's obvious after looking again my story is shit.
    Changed my mind real fast, don't want to close the app. Obviously I'm not getting pred, but I can at least get a little more feedback and stuff before I wait the 30 days.
    I wrote too much of it tired, and it shows in the spelling mistakes. I don't recognize SB as a signature but I assume that's a council member.
    Last edited by FrankTheMagicPotato; 03-30-2021 at 01:37 AM. Reason: Changed my mind on withdrawing my application
    Connie Jaegar, evil MP
    AP-111-E, rooner
    Pau'thi Bo'ytill, unrobust pred
    also funny mentor

  6. #6
    Junior Member Joe Lampost's Avatar
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    ignore those comments its still a good story even with the gramma mistakes. (which everyone makes BTW)

  7. #7
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    It’s very much not a council member, just someone criticizing work in a non-constructive manner, several council members have said the things he’s pointed out aren’t what they even look for in a app, they don’t really care for grammatical errors like that. I’ve read the stories myself, and I quite like them. +1, as I’ve seen the time you’ve put into this.

    As to the person who made those comments, as I’m sure they’re reading this, it disgusts me you hid behind an anonymous title and acted the way you did.

  8. #8
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    To clarify, I don't want this withdrawn. I initially said that because I freaked out seeing those comments, assuming it was a council member, and thought that if that was the first council response, it was going to be a painful app process. Seeing as it isn't, and most of the issues were relatively small, I'll keep the app up and wait.
    Connie Jaegar, evil MP
    AP-111-E, rooner
    Pau'thi Bo'ytill, unrobust pred
    also funny mentor

  9. #9
    CO Council Member Memesky's Avatar
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    The stories were decent and I know you are not a shitter, you should be fine. You are also joining the best clan so

    +1
    Elected CO Councillor or something contact me if you need any help at Memesky#2166

  10. #10
    Moderator Fortelian's Avatar
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    I was planning to +1 you because your stories are good, but I'm not going to. I am going to +2 you out of spite for whoever acted the way they did commenting on that doc. Your stories are both fine.
    Salvador Kepplinger - President of Andorra
    LOV3 - The friendly Bean.
    Senior mentor

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