HBlokkum - Synthetic Application

[superjo98]

1+ Give this man minecraft server whitelist while you're at it.

[carlarc]

okay I may be fucking dumb and what not and yall are memeing but am i the only one not questioning the app? like: ""Shit fuck", the Synth shouted, gesticulating his arms. "Asshole peepee fuck!" the Synthetic yelled louder." The shit is this?

edit: So this a big fucking meme not gonna lie. might as well name your synth the pee pee poo poo man -1

On second thought, this Moderator's post has made me rethink my stance on the post, and made me reread the story and thorougly analyze its contents. There are various infractions I did not notice before that now show a very big, glaring issue.

Dr. Blokkum frowned, he had heard tales of this Synthetic, the "Soda Synth" built out of recycled Souto machines. He was a hindrance to most daily operations but the maintenance techs found out how to upgrade his CPUnit to mine Bitcoin, and thus he was saved from being scrapped.

This is obviously not realistic; Soda machines do not have the necessary parts to properly construct a synthetic. While he may be constructed only in part ou of soda machines, this is not specified in the story, and as such is a major flaw in the proper pacing and structure of the story.

"I had a bagel with poppyseeds on it this morning," Dr. Blokkum threw back. Hawkesworth didn't pause.

"You are also under the influence of space drugs, plasma meth, and two different types of animal tranquilizers."

Blokkum began to sweat. "Yeah uh, it was an everything bagel," he said nervously.

"Everything bagels" do not exist, and I find it highly unlikely that they would in the setting of CM-SS13. Such contents would most likely be highly illegal in a factory-produced food.

While this conversation was ongoing, Hawkesworth Mk II had successfully mined 27 BTC, netting the Corporation 27,000 credits. He turned to the MPs. "You two may leave me with Dr. Blokkum, I will need to perform a psychiatric evalution on him and it may take a while."

This implies that bitcoin has an exact value of 1 BTC = 1000 credits. With the fluctuation that BTC goes through all the time, this exact ratio is extremely likely, even given centuries of time.

Blokkum deftly dodged his stun baton arm and stabbed him in the left eye with his scalpel. A series of important wires must have been severed, because the Synthetic's ears began shooting out sparks.

This is the climax of the story; It defines the quirk presented in the application itself. However, its origins are not very rational, as I find it highly unlikely the wires that control the vocabulary of the Synthetic in the story are present in the eye.

"Yo Hawkesworth, toss me a soda, boy!" shouted a friendly marine wearing mostly blue fatigues. The Synthetic's jaw distended and ejected a cold orange Souto into the waiting hand. "Thanks Soda Synth!"

This is illogical; Nobody fucking likes souto. It's fucking garbage and all the flavors are literally the same chemical. It's fucking garbage. To imply that a member of the honorable Delta Clan would ever drink souto is a crime against nature.

Overall, I am extremely disappointed. The app is of extremely poor quality, and the player is a famous LRPer who does not benefit the server quality-wise in any signficant matter.

+1

[VortexGaming]

On second thought, this Moderator's post has made me rethink my stance on the post, and made me reread the story and thorougly analyze its contents. ......

Overall, I am extremely disappointed. The app is of extremely poor quality, and the player is a famous LRPer who does not benefit the server quality-wise in any signficant matter.

+1

Ah yes thanks for rethinking that through, I really didnt want people to miss the terrible qualities of this app.

[HBlokkum]

This is obviously not realistic; Soda machines do not have the necessary parts to properly construct a synthetic. While he may be constructed only in part ou of soda machines, this is not specified in the story, and as such is a major flaw in the proper pacing and structure of the story.

An excellent point, however if you read the origins of Hawkesworth you will see he has been upgraded since being on the Almayer for many years.

"Everything bagels" do not exist, and I find it highly unlikely that they would in the setting of CM-SS13. Such contents would most likely be highly illegal in a factory-produced food.

Everything bagels do exist, however they are seen as contraband by MP's aboard the ship

This implies that bitcoin has an exact value of 1 BTC = 1000 credits. With the fluctuation that BTC goes through all the time, this exact ratio is extremely likely, even given centuries of time.

Over the centuries, Bitcoin has stabilized and only experiences slight microfluctuations

This is the climax of the story; It defines the quirk presented in the application itself. However, its origins are not very rational, as I find it highly unlikely the wires that control the vocabulary of the Synthetic in the story are present in the eye.

Upon stabbing Hawkesworth Mk II in the eye, he had sustained damage to his robotic medulla oblongata which was behind his eye!

I thank you for your thought out critique and the points you have made are all valid

[captainyankee]

Ah yes thanks for rethinking that through, I really didnt want people to miss the terrible qualities of this app.

This is a beautiful example of Poe's Law. Textbook really.

[VortexGaming]

This is a beautiful example of Poe's Law. Textbook really.

Being real with you here I know everyone�s post is a meme I�m just wondering if this dude who made the app was also bein a meme and has the balls to post it here. Basically yeah poes law and it�s super scary to me cause I feel as though I lost my touch. This may truely be the ultimate shitpost or a genuine application either or at this point it�s so masterfully played out and actually unironically has so much effort seemingly put into it that I can�t just -1 it and I gotta end in a +1

[Omicega]

I don't know what Vortex is talking about. He must have read a different application to the one I just read, because I can't find anything wrong with it.

Real talk, though, the saddest part is that this had about 20x more effort poured into it than the average serious whitelist app. Or maybe that's actually just the beauty of it?

[Cry of Wolves]

[Lakandula]

I think this is serious...seriously rustling some old jimmies. With that said, the writing and story-building is *good*, despite the unorthodox quirk. Where's the line drawn? There's some apps that demonstrate some serious deficiencies in the author's grasp of the English language, and feature completely bland, unexciting, and unoriginal characters ... these get accepted, perhaps in detriment to people who wish to engage in quality roleplay.

If this gets declined would it be because of the quirk? Or the player's distant history? Certainly not because of their inability to craft a compelling story.

+1 from me. Seriously. Encourage more fun and engaging stories.

[Emerald Blood]

Avalanchee did give this a +9 so I legally can't deny it. Accepted

Edit: Sadly, although I was stupid enough not to check the whole story and quirk while trying to clean out the backlog, I will have to deny this just due to the fact if I accept one meme entry I have to accept others, so this will have to be denied.