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Thread: Veio274 - Predator Application

  1. #1
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    Veio274 - Predator Application

    Predator Whitelist Application
    Byond ID:
    Veio274

    Marine Name
    Logan 'Old' Carter

    Name of the Yautja Character you wish to play
    Zak'sull

    Have you banned in the past month or are currently banned from other servers?
    Yes, sadly.

    Are you familiar with the Predator Code Of Honor?
    Yes

    Yautja Character Story
    Zak'sull, a curious and cautious predator, does not like to engage in conflicts unnecessarily, he is a recent member of the Sna'ja clan, as usual in any clan, the young Yautja is sent to the planet Tycon-IV for his first hunting, he would take only the necessary, his net, harpoon and armor, during the flight he prays to Paya, the god of hunting.


    Upon arriving on the planet, he lands his ship in a place with shadows and dense vegetation to aid in his camouflage, and without delay he leaves his ship, the young yautja reflected in brief moments, he could not fail, his mentors and friends always underestimated him because of their difference from others, his family was composed of great hunters, true Yuatja's, it was a matter of honor, honor his family and clan, so he can identify who really is.

    Entering the vegetation, he then a good distance from the ship, kneels and begins to walking cautiously with the harpoon in his hand, was at night, in a humid climate, he sees his victim, a 2-meter animal, had thorns on his arms and shoulders, his head would be like a predator's head, but his mouth would have a large teeth that could rip off an arm with only one bite, and having claws of hands, the fearsome creature would be finishing feeding itself, Zak'sull, cautious as it was, stood in some bushes watching the creature, looking for traces of weakness or exposure.


    After a few minutes, the creature would have finished its food and would begin to walk through the woods, Zak'sull would follow cautiously, observing its way of walking, soon the creature stopped, and consequently then time passed, and soon Zak'sull could feel a breath, in a quick turn he uses his arm of shield against a creature of the same species that would be following, the creature tries to snatch the arm, however as it was armored with the bracelet, the predator does a punch against the face of the creature, causing it to retreat, Zak'Sull swift rises and stares at the prey, performing his traditional roar, part for an attack with the creature, where he releases his claws from bracelet and crosses the arms in an x-shape, blocking a direct blow to the creature, but soon, the creature in a rapid movement bites the predator's knee causing it to fall, when the young yautja's moments drew near, he throws a punch again, but this time with the claw, plucking the arm of the prey, and then with a strong lift he would throw the creature back on the ground while he would rise, grabbing the net on his back and throwing it over the creature.


    Not being the end, the other creature would hear the noises and shuddering of a battle between predators of different species, which in a quick leap would land on the predator, trying to tear through and attempt to rip off his armor, the predator thought immediatly of Cetanu, the god of death, resolving himself to believe that it is not his time to meet with Cetanu, the young yautja lashes out with a quick response, the predator the yautja was hunting uses its claws to try and counter him, but didn't have the agility to meet every blow and consequently after minutes Zak'Sull would bleed it to an end, and as the creature saw Cetanu approach, the young hunter prayed to Cetanu and Paya right after the kill, then collecting the claws of the bracelet, Zak'Sull with his net and with the captured creature, applied a kind of sedative, carrying the net on his back, to his ship, and from there he returns to his home planet, of the clan, where his family awaited him.


    On the planet, he is received by his mentors and then goes to the prey room delivering the newest prey of a new species, and then receiving his wanted title.

    Describe how your Yautja acts, and how you intend to play them
    he will be careful and watch until he finds his proper prey, he will not be making unfeeling conflicts and will try to avoid unnecessary conflicts

    In your own words, describe the difference between an honor duel and a hunt
    an honor duel is typically one between worthy prey and the predator, so it doesn't always have to be about the honor of the predator but can also just be for having a fair fight

    In a hunt the predator challenges the prey and if he wins, he can demonstrate mercy if it has been a challenging combat or kill them and pick up the body or a part of the body as a trophy

    How do you intend on interacting with other predators during a round?
    My predator would be as peaceful as possible, aslong as no slight would be made against his honor as a hunter and a Yautja, and attempt to reduce conflict as much as possible to prevent the interruption of the hunt, which is the most important thing for my Yautja character. However, like stated above, is not afraid to defend himself against any provocation or slight against his status and worthiness as a hunter and member of his clan.

    Why do you want a predator whitelist?
    Because for myself, the predator itself is a very interesting creature and quite intriguing to learn about and would be a pleasure to utilize in order to help create and flavor the role play and flow of a round. I'd enjoy the opportunity to become white-listed for predator as I've always wished to step into the shoes of one since I learnt of this application and see things from a neutral perspective, partial to no party and observing the conflict and yet stepping into the middle of it.

    Do you understand that any player - donor or otherwise - can have their whitelist status revoked should they break our rules or disobey the Predator Code of Honor?
    Yes

  2. #2
    Junior Member Sparrow201's Avatar
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    Hey, pretty good application. A decent story that isn't too macho and combat orientated, although seems centered around such. It appears you let your grammar and effort slip when you say:

    "Describe how your Yautja acts, and how you intend to play them
    he will be careful and watch until he finds his proper prey, he will not be making unfeeling conflicts and will try to avoid unnecessary conflicts"

    However, I still believe the rest of the effort is well placed and I myself were one of the people who proof read and assisted you in the making of this. The responses are a little short but aslong as you get the point that doesn't really matter. I haven't seen you around much which is the main issue but I believe you'll make a good predator as I know just how much time and effort you've put into this application. Good luck.

    +1

    Edit: I also know English isn't your second language and you're still learning, so I appreciate the added effort in trying to get over that language barrier and portray your character through a language that isn't your native tongue.
    Plays:
    David Law, the Marine from Bravo Squad.
    Beyo Ze'stbeier, the Yautja.

    Bravo is best, delta is too busy blowing themselves up.

  3. #3
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    The story was okay it didn't really protray what your characters gimick or tick really is though. All preadators are semi-cautious when hunting prey and I don't feel as if there's just enough flesh around your backstory. Why is your predator treated differntly and why does he feel so vindicated to prove himself beyond what a normal Yautja does? Your story seemed more involved about combat than what makes your Yautja unique something that stands out from the normal. Give him something beyond the vindication to prove himself every Yautja is out to prove that. As for how you RP with other predators in the round you'd act like..just a more passive version of a vanilla Yautja. As for predators being neutral they are designated antagonists and you will often be attacked/fired upon as soon as you're noticed or discovered so what little character you have is irrelevant. I won't judge on playtime since I don't have that much myself but in the terms of being a some-what Yautja fanatic I just don't think this APP makes the cut. I'm sorry. It's a -1 from me. I'm sorry but I just don't see enough flesh in the application to vindicate me towards a +1 I am sorry.

  4. #4
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    I've played several times with Logan, he's very good at his roles, i trust him to be a predator, also he have wrote a good story, it's a +1

  5. #5
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    No idea who you are.
    1 forum post
    Average app, nothing stands out.
    Never saw you on Discord/CMs

    -1

    Describe how your Yautja acts, and how you intend to play them
    he will be careful and watch until he finds his proper prey, he will not be making unfeeling conflicts and will try to avoid unnecessary conflicts


    Yautja Character Story

    Zak'sull, a curious and cautious predator, does not like to engage in conflicts unnecessarily

    Also I don't see any effort in those parts? Every single pred player does this already and we don't need more clones.

    Come up with something original, get known and join the discord.
    Last edited by Avalanchee; 02-07-2019 at 01:36 PM.

  6. #6
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    -1

    There was a lot of grammar issues throughout the entirety of the App.
    You also fell into the pitfall of a describing the combat more than your Yautja.

  7. #7
    CM-SS13 Host ThesoldierLLJK's Avatar
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    Story tells me nothing about your Yaujta, and the story feels lacking. Also poor editing with poor grammar, and you really had a very poor generic answer on how your Yaujta will act.

    -1

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Avalanchee View Post
    No idea who you are.
    1 forum post
    Average app, nothing stands out.
    Never saw you on Discord/CMs
    Well, i'm not very active in discord, but i had some posts on it, also, I've created this account because my earlier account was deleted i think, but i had some posts, well i'm playing CM for been a long time, i altered my CM name four times, if i remember my past name was John 'Shooter' Rico, but i changed since an admin warned me, i hope have helped.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Veio274 View Post
    Well, i'm not very active in discord, but i had some posts on it, also, I've created this account because my earlier account was deleted i think, but i had some posts, well i'm playing CM for been a long time, i altered my CM name four times, if i remember my past name was John 'Shooter' Rico, but i changed since an admin warned me, i hope have helped.
    The forums switched around a bit and everyone had to make new accounts, it may help to list some of your other names as well.

  10. #10
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    Not gonna beat a dead horse but pretty much what Soldier, Bobatnight and Avalanchee said and the very generic answer on how your pred will react is what really hammers it in, in addition the only person who claims to have seen you literally just made their account this month and this is their very first post. Not pointing fingers but that seems a bit too fishy for me.

    -1
    my first non combat medal



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