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Thread: special2kira - Synthetic Application

  1. #11
    Senior Member LilPenpusher's Avatar
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    I've been helping/advising Kira on their synth app for a bit, and have shared some of my concerns with them in DMs beforehand. As such, I would also like to vocally express my concerns regarding your english skills, as @DriedMilk has done above.

    The story has issues with grammar. Past and present tenses are used all over the place, without consistency. You start out with present, i.e. the story is happening NOW, then switch to past tense, i.e. it happened some time ago, then go back to present and so on. This happens throughout the story. There are also mistakes with spelling and such.

    Once again, I already told you of these concerns beforehand, in Discord DMs, but it seems you didn't actually take it to heart, seeing as how there are still so many mistakes with your language skills here.

    I don't want to discourage you and give you a negative vote... but for now, I ought to. Sorry.

    -1
    Synthetic Unit 'Amber'.

    Major Misti Rockwell, USS Yokosuka, 2nd Division, 2nd Battlegroup, 3rd Fleet.



    Trial Moderator: 7th November 2021 - 21st November 2021
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    Senior Moderator: 17th January 2022 - 2nd of June 2022

  2. #12
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    Akira has put a lot of effort into this app and I think it shows, especially the story went through many iterations and I, having seen the first versions, fully accept that the English isnt flawless. However, being able to write a story and being able to interact with others isn't the same. When I look at the way Akira writes in general then I dont think it warrants downvoting, the fact of the matter is that they're capable of expressing themselves good enough in most situations. In current year cm synths wont ever really interact too much with anybody anyways so it just doesnt matter that much. What matters is if they got the game skills and knowledge needed to play synth and that they do.

    Besides, we've spend so long to make rp on cm more accessible so I dont see why we'd now not do the same. Theres no reason anymore to have these high English standards in our tdm server.

    Enjoy your +1 , you've put in the effort to earn it

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by LilPenpusher View Post
    I've been helping/advising Kira on their synth app for a bit, and have shared some of my concerns with them in DMs beforehand. As such, I would also like to vocally express my concerns regarding your english skills, as @DriedMilk has done above.

    The story has issues with grammar. Past and present tenses are used all over the place, without consistency. You start out with present, i.e. the story is happening NOW, then switch to past tense, i.e. it happened some time ago, then go back to present and so on. This happens throughout the story. There are also mistakes with spelling and such.

    Once again, I already told you of these concerns beforehand, in Discord DMs, but it seems you didn't actually take it to heart, seeing as how there are still so many mistakes with your language skills here.

    I don't want to discourage you and give you a negative vote... but for now, I ought to. Sorry.

    -1
    your concerns are very much true and sorry that the app didn't really change much from when you last saw it. I have my app to a few people to look at and you were the only one who had any issues with my grammar. I tried to correct what I can but because you noticed an issue that nobody else did when they looked at my app. I know this app won't go well but given I had asked so many people to help me and that since I don't see any issue with the app I wanted to put it up now.

    but I also feel like to downvote me only for my English skill and ignoring the effort I put into this app and my knowledge on the game is fairly harsh

  4. #14
    Senior Member LilPenpusher's Avatar
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    The Synth WL's standards are high, that's just how it is. Part of my downvote comes from the lacking skills in english, the other half comes from not caring enough to read through your texts again to correct mistakes as I had pointed out.

    The initial story you wrote was literally plastered with these SAME mistakes, which I, and others (not just me, I know that for a fact), pointed out to you by making annotations on the google doc. You obviously went and made a new story, but completely ignored the mistakes you had previously made. You entirely forgot that I warned you about tenses, proceeding to make not only the same mistakes, but make these mistakes at seemingly the same ratio.

    If I warn you of something, and you proceed to ignore it, then I can't help but downvote you for refusing to improve on grounds of "fuck it, let's hope people will +1 me enough to pass". You're a cool person and ok at skills, but synthetic isn't merely about mechanical skill (as Elly above implied), it's about high standards of roleplay, and correspondingly capable skills with English. You lack the latter, while also showing that you are not willing or able to improve upon mistakes.

    Anyone saying Synths are merely about beeing a super support who fixes cades and people in record time does the Whitelist a disservice and has no idea what they're talking about. I'm sticking with my -1 since you didn't care enough to improve on what I told you, and are clearly hoping people will ignore that on grounds of being capable skill-wise. Whether they do so is up to them, but I will not.
    Synthetic Unit 'Amber'.

    Major Misti Rockwell, USS Yokosuka, 2nd Division, 2nd Battlegroup, 3rd Fleet.



    Trial Moderator: 7th November 2021 - 21st November 2021
    Moderator: 21st November 2021 - 17th January 2022
    Senior Moderator: 17th January 2022 - 2nd of June 2022

  5. #15
    Synthetic Council Member
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    Effort in an application has its merit; but some of the fundamental things you need to be even basically immersive as a Synthetic, such as having competent grammar and punctuation, are missing and this has to be stated.

    But let's just briefly discuss this "effort", this is the same effort which intentionally, or accidentally obscured 6 CO applications (where all of them were denied or withdrawn after significant opposition) where ALL the same trends that block your current Synthetic application are present: bad grammar, LRP behaviour (for gods sake look at the name you used for your "marine name" answer; it's a joke name), and OOC attitudes which are simply not up to expectations for the Synth WL (excluding your out-of-CM stuff, I could care less in context of this application).

    TLDR: You couldn't even bother to change your character's name before applying, let alone show ALL the WL applications you withdrew or failed (there were 6).

    Please do not appeal to any qualitative "effort" in your application. WLs have had precedent players who got away with "well I worked hard so I should be pitied, respected and given the WL". Then, these people immediately proved themselves to be unfit for the WL because they were apes. This insults not only the WL itself, but to the people who gave approvable results, not excuses that they qualitatively "worked very hard on their application". When this effort can fix the mediocre grammar and the LRP, or otherwise, show good results, then you'll be fine.
    Last edited by forest2001; 07-13-2021 at 10:46 AM.

  6. #16
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    I was LRP then and I'm not LRP now. I also don't use the name mei may any more in favour of Akira and has been taking the game alot more seriously. to say my effort insult the whitelist is still demeaning. I have yet to do anything (things I done in my time trying to get co doesn't count) that should warrant me to not get synth whitelist..yes bad grammar will break your immersion if that's something you seriously can't ignore. if all you have to say on my app is the name I used in the past and has been using in a significantly reduced amount now. OOC attitude which... I never really had complaint about? I have been a splendid person thus far unless you manage to somehow find someone that caught me in a bad mood.

  7. #17
    Senior Admin & Whitelist Overseer Fortelian's Avatar
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    I'm going to be honest, I have seen you speaking in game and I don't have any problem understanding what you're trying to say. I've talked to you over discord about your english and at this point I really don't see an issue with it. Maybe some people do, but from what I've seen I think you can do a good job as synthetic. I know saying that "We'll just remove them if they're bad" is no reason to whitelist someone, but you have actual reason to be whitelisted. The quirk is creative, the story is good and it actually shows your quirk in a way you could use it. You have vouchers for support, and I know you're not bald when it comes to departmental work. I can't say I've ever even seen you arrested, so you must be doing something right there. I'm fine with giving you a +1, and if this does not work out I encourage you to try again in the future, when you can take the advice of everyone here and apply it.
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  8. #18
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    There's valid concern over the level of English in this application, especially with the story.

    But after numerous conversations with them ingame and on the Discord, their English skills are more than adequate for RP. They're also competent in all the support roles.
    I haven't seen any LRP behavior from them, and they're capable of keeping character.

    Having worked with ESLs before -- I can say that writing a character essay requires a much stronger grasp of English than being perfectly fluent in conversation. And let's be honest - no one's writing character essays ingame.

    It's up to the Synth council on whether or not they're willing to overlook spelling and grammar mistakes in the character story, but this is a +1 from me.

  9. #19
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    Kira is a controversial person, but I personally vouch for their character change and I believe it's real and not just an act to get a whitelist. The app is fine and the story is fine. I notice there's some issues with tense stuff, but being an ESL myself, I struggled with it myself and even many native English speakers struggle with it. Should they be denied for that? Nah, I don't think so. I've been speaking to them a long time now and I've never had issues understanding them. I've seen their draft and how much effort they put into writing it. I've seen some people write a story in a day and get accepted, but Kira's been at it for a whole month, revising and getting feedback to make it passable, just to get a chance. Even their first draft is understandable. Nunk brings a good point that writing a story is not the same as writing dialogue, and kira's dialogue is perfectly understandable and fine. Either way, I know that they put in a lot of effort into writing this app, and perhaps they did miss some of tense issues and typos, but as ESL myself I can with confidence say that to notice these things, it takes years of practice, and even then, I myself still commit these mistakes from time to time.

    +1, I vouch for Kira and I believe they can be trusted with it and their English is good enough for this.
    Last edited by AcuteCircle; 07-15-2021 at 06:01 AM.

  10. #20
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    competent +1

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