We must remember and cherish the old copypastas. I happen to have a few saved up over the years and thought it would be nice to make a thread here so that these historic CM moments can be saved and shared.
I'll start with mine,
Welcome to Strata. You're about to begin the greatest moment of your life. The Talls have lost hundreds of tanks and men. Tall Queens's brutalized hordes are now advancing towards Strata over mountains of their own dead bodies. Our Bolshevik Party, our nation, our great hive, have given us the task not to let the enemy reach the Volga and to defend the city of Strata. Forward against the enemy! Up into the unremitting battle, comrades, for the queem mother, for our great Hive! Not one step back! Cowards and traitors will be shot! Do not count days, do not count miles, count only the number of Tallhosts you have killed. Kill the Tallhosts - this is your mother's prayer. Kill the Tallhosts - this is the cry of your Russian earth. Do not waver! Do not let up! Kill! Death to the Tallhost invader!
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Colonial Marine Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on the CLF, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Universe, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over comms? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the Universe and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can robust you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Colonial Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, baldie
OOC: PeePeePeeter : FUCK YOU ALAN JONES YOU POWER ABUSING ASS SNIFFING CUNT YOU LITERARLY ARRESTED ME, AND TRIED TO FUCKING BRIG ME WHILE WE ARE GETTING BOARDED BY 53 XENOS, 53 FUCKING XENOS, THATS HALF OF THE COLONY'S POPULATION, AND MORE THAN THE LIVING MARINES, AND YET YOU STILL TRIED TO FUCKING BRIG ME CAUSE I HURT YOUR SNOWFLAKE HEART YOU BALDASS RETARD, DONT PLAY CM" - Sun Tzu
Okay, so I was the SADAR. I specifically UNLOADED my SADAR before aiming it at people on the DS. When the DS started filling up, the scout spec (who said they’d buy me an AP rocket) loaded an AP rocket in and I got disarmed, and it fired and gibbed a marine (gibbing was removed from normal rockets though, no idea how that happened). I wrote an ahelp, saying that I did an oopsie, told hunk that my SADAR fired even though it was unloaded (didnt know scout spec loaded it in until the scout said it in LOOC). While this is happening, the CO drags me off the DS and starts asking me questions, I’m deaf so I can’t hear it and say deaf. They BE me. I spend like 5 minutes in dchat, hunk tells me that I’ve been noted and not to do it again and gives me a respawn. I am spawned in at the morgue, after some RP the doctor lets me out but Issac McMatherson THE CMP TRIES TO ARREST ME FOR MURDER, I ahelp it and ARES TELLS HIM 3 TIMES TO RELEASE ME AND ONLY DOES SO AFTER BEING THREATENED WITH INUSB. I get boots, helmet, uniform and armor on, ask req for my shit, tell me its at FOB, I had down BUT ALL MY SHIT IS GONE, my uniform, helmet, G8, my pouches (PFC gave me his PFC medic kit, thanks franklin ramis) everything is gone, I only have my SADAR and rocket bag. I decide to salvage what I could, head to the front but I get jumped by a lurker and dragged to bobzil
is just stupid how unless you have 40 macros set up and 3 wifi routers, you can't win as a MOBA xeno, combo gameplay completely shits on xenos and doesn't work in SS13 at all. Especially when all marines have to do is 'unga point and click', 0 skill requirement. Most xeno strains now need a PhD in that exact strain and the sheer grace of god to do well with CM's lag. These marine biased dev's just keep fucking around with xeno's meta thinking they can turn the gameplay into Smash Bro's Ultimate without playing a single xeno round themselves. A year ago xenos actully had some weight to them but now I gotta do A+B+X+Y+Z+A+Y Combo move to fucking sneeze on a marine let alone do: any damage. This shit aint working on a 20 year old 2d space man game that turns into a powerpoint slideshow after 10 minutes of gameplay. Give us our fucking stuns and instant damage back dev's otherwise xenomains will go on strike and you can have fun balancing a 100% marine winrate.
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