A Xenomorph's Guide for serving the USCM

[Butterrobber202]

Alright, fleshbag let's get right into it, this is how you should be playing a Marine.



Step 1: Your Pack

1. You spawn into a pack of 4 colors, this doesn�t fucking matter, you are the top dog. That dickhead with better equipment than you is just hiding behind his rank.
2, Don�t listen to the dickhead, you are obviously much smarter than him. Has he even seen your 6-pack?
3. If the Engineer is building something, move him. He needs to know his place and learn to respect your superiority
4. Going to a medic is for pussies, real men chew off their injuries.
5. Fuck the pack, you can do this on your own.


Step 2: Equipment and Interface


1. Armor is not important, it�s just slowing you down
2. You should always use throwing knives as your primary weapon.
3. If you fail step two, that�s alright, threaten the RO until he gives you a barrel charger. If he doesn�t he is a traitor to the cause. Execute him
4. If you arnt using AP at all times, you will lose
5. Make sure you use AP and aim for the head for maximum impact



Step 3: Combat

1. If you followed the above steps, you should be hunting Xenos like a goddamn pro by now.
2. Make sure you are using burst fire at all times
3. NEVER go on the front lines, if you followed steps 4-5 in the equipment section, you should stay back and burst fire at random. It�s not your fault if you hit someone in the head with AP, they were in your way!
4. Always charge straight at Crushers, the weight of your balls will keep you grounded.
5. If it�s red then it�s weak, kill it with maximum firepower, with no regard for safety
6. If a fellow marine falls for any reason in combat, leave him. He is weak and undeserving of being a Marine.
7. Make sure you give false Infomation to your pack, this is important so you get all the glory.
8. If you get FF'd, a traitor is among you! Kill the nearest Marine, he is obviously a traitor.



Step 4: Everything else

1. MPs are tyrants and oppressors, kill them at all costs
2. The CO is a pussy ass neon-haired bitch, never listen to her inferior judgment
3. Statis Bags are most effective when opened
4. Throw your flares as deep in enemy lines as possible, to prevent them from being useful.
5. If a Marine is stealing your glory, shoot him in the back and claim it was a misclick
6. If someone with a rank higher than yours is ordering you around, kill him. He is obviously impersonating the real Officer.

[DefinitelyAlone0309]

This is epic

[CipherUstio]

What if you're a medic?
bad guide 1/10

[Mack]

What if you're a medic?
bad guide 1/10

Did you not read the guide? Being a medic means helping other people, and we can't be giving other people the advantage.

[KennyTGuy]

Fill lifesaver with QC feed to everyone, cause everyone knows if it bleeds it can be killed

[CipherUstio]

Fill lifesaver with QC feed to everyone, cause everyone knows if it bleeds it can be killed

Thanks! This is actually pretty useful.

[edgardo]

Good guide, now i will be able to say the N word on CM

[NescauComToddy]

You forgot some.

• Always kill synths. They are a threat to you and the mission and are not useful for anything other than snowflaking.

• If the commander doesn't want to give you a medal, player report him for his egoism and if possible mutiny. If a moderator asks you to follow the protocol, ignore him, he doesn't know what he is talking about and is just another biased admin.

• At the beginning of the round, don't feed because a true RP'er will have his character on a diet for immersion. If someone complains that you will not be able to move quickly, wait for the right moment, aim at one of his legs and PB the shit out of him. Competence bonus points if you dismember both legs or kill him.

• Finally, when your squad finds multiple 'Jamaican' figures on one of the maps, it's a secret Easter egg. Shoot all of them to earn a secret reward.