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Thread: CM13 Copypasta Repository

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    Post CM13 Copypasta Repository

    (aka *The Colonial Suppository)
    *credits to StaticMeow for idea and alternative title name

    As the title implies, put all the fancy CM13 copypastas that the CM13 population have made over the years.

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    -社会信用已从您的帐户中扣除 多么失败的公民 不要再这样让毛主席失望了 不能容忍这样 的不良行为晚上9:00后记得兑换食物使 用优惠码“KPU请访问您当地的[人民光荣 的口粮分配部]以兑 换您的口粮共产党的荣耀
    https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachmen...pe_credits.mp4
    (我们強制堕胎 民族淨化 人體實驗 肅的) -9999999999999999 Rope Credits have been deducted from your account! What a massive failure! You are an embarrassment to your fellow citizens, the state and most importantly Chairman Grim! Your execution has been sceduled for 9pm tonight. Glory to Management! Have a CM rest of your day!

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    Come, bring your resin whisperers. Bring your boilers, It will not save you. Bring all of your cheap stuns. Your woyers, your burrowers and crooshers. Your rounners, your ravs and praes. Your stun weapons cannot stop me. Your Queen with screech and neuro spam will do you no good. your hive pool with endless respawns will not save you from dchat. Your hedgehog ravs will be all for naught. Your xeno main devs will enhance your abilities and you will ascend to new levels. However, you will NEVER be on my level. I am the Supreme unga. I am deltard shotgunner.

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    Okay question why do COs always say i should apply for CO when i play xo. I am an absolute dogshit xo and i give the shittiest orders and suck at managing the op how would i be a good CO
    "LOOC: you would make a good CO" bro i just got the entirety of Charlie wiped in an idiotic flanking attempt and forgot to announce OB and all the marines charged into it. How the fuck is this good CO matriel. I even fucking hate playing CIC.

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    //group.php?discussionid=79&do=discuss

    please consult the thread.
    Karl Karlsson, the man (and sometimes Captain)
    Maxwell, the synth
    Enhath'vot Guan-Dha, the predator
    Also a feature Coder & CM's Maintainer Team Manager

    Timeline :
    Spoiler Spoiler:

    [CENTER]Retired Synth councilman, forever a member of IO gang

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    I am a survivor of the xenomorph attack, my name is not important; what is important is what I'm going to do. I just fucking hate these xenos, and the larva children feasting on its carcass. My whole life is just cold, bitter hatred, and I always wanted to die violently. This is the time of vengeance, and no life is worth saving, and I will put in the grave as many as I can. It's time for me to kill and it's time for me to die; my genocide crusade begins... here!

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    hijac k gaming is so fucking stale and boring. No wonder why half the xenos SSD during it and half the marines go to cryo, and with xeno infinate respawns its just a garunteed xeno victory . It's so fucking braindead to have to rp "Oh wow dropship MYSTERIOUSLY left for groundside. Oh well I guess we wont be needing that anymore" as RO moves crates full of metal and ammo to the holdout locations. Then everyone acting surprised for the billionth time when hijkck happens. Fuck hijack gameplay. Remove that shit entirely or make it rare. Add a fucking AO evac for fucks sakes. The only people that would be against it are masochist RPers who like lusty xenomorph queen feet ERP and sweaty xenos who like making kill complications of them murderboning outnumbered bald shipsiders

    is just stupid how unless you have 40 macros set up and 3 wifi routers, you can't win as a MOBA xeno, combo gameplay completely shits on xenos and doesn't work in SS13 at all. Especially when all marines have to do is 'unga point and click', 0 skill requirement. Most xeno strains now need a PhD in that exact strain and the sheer grace of god to do well with CM's lag. These marine biased dev's just keep fucking around with xeno's meta thinking they can turn the gameplay into Smash Bro's Ultimate without playing a single xeno round themselves. A year ago xenos actully had some weight to them but now I gotta do A+B+X+Y+Z+A+Y Combo move to fucking sneeze on a marine let alone do: any damage. This shit aint working on a 20 year old 2d space man game that turns into a powerpoint slideshow after 10 minutes of gameplay. Give us our fucking stuns and instant damage back dev's otherwise xenomains will go on strike and you can have fun balancing a 100% marine

    WHY ARE XENOS KILL SYNTH ON SIGHT!! I am so sick and tired of these LRP xenos, hell its not even LRP its NO RP because actual roleplaying xenos would ignore synths because they are technically invisible to them. Bishop in the movies was ignored by xenos and so was ash when he was on colonyside healing ripley after she got acid damage from chunging the queen. So for the sake of ROLEPLAYT XENOS SHOULD STOP KILLINGT SYNTHS. MR ELECTRIC, SEND THEM TO THE TDOME AND HAVE THEM IP BANNED!!!!11

    Come, bring your resin whisperers. Bring your boilers, It will not save you. Bring all of your cheap stuns. Your woyers, your burrowers and crooshers. Your rounners, your ravs and praes. Your stun weapons cannot stop me. Your Queen with screech and neuro spam will do you no good. your hive pool with endless respawns will not save you from dchat. Your hedgehog ravs will be all for naught. Your xeno main devs will enhance your abilities and you will ascend to new levels. However, you will NEVER be on my level. I am the Supreme unga. I am deltard shotgunner.

    Okay question why do COs always say i should apply for CO when i play xo. I am an absolute dogshit xo and i give the shittiest orders and suck at managing the op how would i be a good CO "LOOC: you would make a good CO" bro i just got the entirety of Charlie wiped in an idiotic flanking attempt and forgot to announce OB and all the marines charged into it. How the fuck is this good CO matriel. I even fucking hate playing CIC.

    ALPHA! YOUR JOB IS TO CHECK MARSHALS AND DORMS! CHARLIE! YOUR JOB IS TO CHECK BAR! DELTA! YOUR JOB IS TO SCOUT ADMINISTRATION! AFTER THESE OBJECTIVES ARE ACCOMPLISHED YOU WILL ALL RALLY AT OFFICES! ANY QUESTIONS MARINES?

    Hello everyone, I'm a Squad Marine and let me say that SS13-CM is too damn hard and I can't get past the FOB. The Xenos won't listen to my reasoned discourse on why their ideology is flawed and just tear me to death. I have a lot of weapons at my disposal, but killing the Aliens would make me as bad as them. Does anyone have links to a guide that would allow me to keep the moral high ground?

    I am SICK and TIRED of these silly little "FF incidents"d like a PVT throwing a nade at someones back that kills the marine frontline, being passed off as "baldies". Baldies are just a excuse to cover up the EXTREME and WIDESPRED xenocord sleeper agent issue that PLAGUES marines constantly. Every single tmie their multikeys GET AWAY with it as xenocord keeps pushing the narrative of "marine baldness" whenever the enitre frontline gets wiped and thy win. Not only do they do that but they LAG AND CRASH as wel. Ever notice a suden increase in lag and crashes? Thats becuase xenocord tels a bunch of bots from BUMFUCK NOWHERE,AFRICA with MOTHERfucking AOL DIAL-UP MODEMS to connect and drag every1s conection down, while they benefit by slipping BOO and SCU lurkers past the SSD bravos who COINCIDENTALLY left cades open into the DS. This ends here. Us marine gamers need to RISE UP against the xenocord sleeper agents and reveal their TRUE identities so that we may metagrudge them by chungi

    What a fun round! ANOTHER XENO major, another instance of bald ass command and meme gimmick xeno queen!!! Woohoo!! I fucking hate this game!! SO fucking bald. Instead of saying THE OB FUCKING HIT THE HIVE ROOF AND MISSED, you CLAIM THAT IT KILLED HALF THE FUCKING HIVE AND TELL MARINES TO PUSH!! There's a REASON why there were 50+ xenos and it was because a certain someone can't use their fucking fully functioning brain properly. BALD BALD BALD

    you can do the xenoshaker huh? the plasmashaker? come on XX i know you can shake that shit. Yeah thats some crusher tail right there.

    god i hate these sweaty post puberty sweatlords with their cheesepuff fingers ready to tap their ten macros to M44 the new XX drone and claim victory after they spend twenty minutes preparing and shouting OORAH like an actual US marine retard, especially the known name ones where you can already see the round ending soon because make no mistake they'll abuse the shit out of mechanics, and if they are off by a single single bullet and a xeno captures them, especially a woyer who uses the same sweatlord macros just in another way, they'll whine and cry till xenos have nothing else to do but sit at hive and pretend we actually give a shit anymore playing

    What a fun round! ANOTHER XENO major, another instance of BOO and his metagang killing every marine with the double slash bug!!! Woohoo!! I fucking hate this game!! SO fucking dumb. Instead of SHOOTING THEM marines just fucking fumble around and stare like they've just received a transorbital lobotomy!! There's a REASON why BOO and his metagang keep wiping out the marines every single round because someone can't use their fucking fully functioning brain properly. BALD BALD BALD

    Hello Bilary, I can see the predicament you are in and I must say that I've also faced this unique problem, I think that synthetics are able to converse with aliens, unless that was removed, and xenos have little reason to attack synths that aren't attacking them. If you cannot become a synthetic and attempt to discourse with the aliens, I would recommend you stick to shipside roles which don't have to interact with aliens (usually, sometimes command does not order an evacuation and then you have to fight the aliens) and only interact with other humans/marines using various forms of roleplay.

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    You are incorrect. Threatening to break Marine Law is just as good as actually doing it. In this case, threatening and doing an action in failure is a written crime. "Attempt Murder - Attempting to murder a person but failing to do so. If the evidence shows that the arrested person was clearly trying to kill someone with ill intent but failed in the action itself." You had motive and ill intent.
    Cayden 'Prisoner' Mary - CMP Main, long time player, all time hater and enjoyer of MP's

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    unknown.jpg
    This is one of my favs

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