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Thread: Story I Will Never Finish

  1. #1
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    Story I Will Never Finish

    I started this in like May or June to stretch my creative muscles and it's sat on the backburner so long that I don't have any interest to finish it. Its about a MARSOC team that specializes in breach and clearing stuff raiding a ship carrying stolen OB warheads. Enjoy

    Gray with hazard yellow stripes; it was ugly to look at. Designed to carry as much cargo as possible, the Fitzgerald was starting to show its age. The space freighter was once the pride of shipping conglomerates but lost ground when technological advancements came around. Mostly forgotten and inconspicuous, it was the perfect choice for the cargo it was carrying.

    Months prior on Rupert XII, a largely unimportant world located in the middle rim, a military sealift transporting munitions sank. Officially, it sank due to a maelstrom but further investigation indicated otherwise. Signs of struggle - bullet casings, breached doors and fragments of shrapnel were found below deck. Inspection of the cargo manifest found that many items were missing; most significant on that list were orbital bombardment warheads. An exhaustive investigation was launched. Following the breadcrumbs, they found that the heist was performed by ex-military members of a highly radicalized cult named “The Order of Terra”.

    USCM Intelligence bagged and interrogated a member and through some ‘closed door’ techniques, the member disclosed what the order was attempting to do with the warheads. They’re enroute to Kytain, an outer rim planet. Once delivered, they would detonate them in population centers as punishment for leaving Holy Terra. Once they tracked down the Fitzgerald, a special unit within MARSOC was contacted: the 201st Special Operations Aviation Battalion, also known as the Nightstalkers.

    The Fitzgerald was motionless, safely waiting outside an asteroid belt; its crew asleep. In the distance 2 small vessels approached. Sleek in design and reminiscent of old open-top frogmen subs, they silently advanced towards the old freighter. There were 2 figures in each vehicle supported by a USCM frigate currently jamming Fitzgerald’s sensor and communication arrays. The vessels were now on top of the Fitzgerald and the 4 figures departed - their magnetic boots connecting to the cold metal hull of the freighter. Each was clad in matte black armored hardsuits; equipped with varying zippers and pouches. At the waist of each they carried MK210 Tactical Shotguns modified to fire special subsonic slugs so they could be used in tandem with suppressors. Each one carried different equipment on their backs; medical gear, breaching, explosives and munitions.

    They reached where the exterior plates of the ship intersected and stopped. One of the figures removed a thermal lance from his back, twisting a valve on the tank of pure oxygen connected to the lance by a hose which dangled freely in the zero gravity environment. Oxygen rushed into the pipe, becoming rich enough to ignite the iron alloy, creating an exothermic reaction of 4000 celsius, hot enough to cut through anything even in the cold vacuum of space. He pressed the tip of the lance against the exterior of the ship, sparks and fragments of slag flew off the hull into the emptiness of space. Minutes passed and the lance was nearly spent but he completed the cut - the loose piece of the hull gently floated off into space.

    The four figures crawled through the breach and entered the room illuminated by a dim red light; filled with computers and machinery. Indicators flashed and monitors warned of a hull breach, giving off a quiet hum as their circuits whirled to find a diagnosis. As loose debris floated weightlessly, one of the figures made her way towards one of the computers, opening a compartment in it. She squatted down, analyzing the machine’s guts. She unsheathed a knife and traced it along a wire until it joined a circuit board; severing it and all other wires connected to it. She returned to the other operators and assumed breaching position. One stood off to the side and opened the vacuum tight door, the 3 entered the long hallway, scanning for threats while the last closed the airlock behind them.

    Signs, pipes and the occasional power unit adorned the faded white walls. LED lights hung from the ceiling, their light spilling on the red floors.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Usnpeepoo's Avatar
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    whens pt2 coming out

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    damn.......

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    Member Chaussettes's Avatar
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    Good one booba it is interesting to read. My constructive criticism is that it's difficult to picture things clearly, like how the Fitzgerald looks and things like that. But it is a good setting and story you should keep going.
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