S'hamit'che'lue(The Cloaked one)

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japaman7
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S'hamit'che'lue(The Cloaked one)

Post by japaman7 » 08 Aug 2017, 15:17

Byond ID:Japaman7

Marine Name (so we know who you are, if you play alien mostly, state that here):Elliot Shire

Name of the character you want whitelisted (The name your predator will use. This must match your in-game predator name): S'hamit'che'lue

Are you familiar with the predator code of honor?:yes

Character background (A very BRIEF description of your predators background):

LV-281 is a very old ancient colony used for mining of various types of metals until one day the colony became dark and without communication with the world until the Weyland corporation sent the colonial marines the 1st reconnaissance group formed by 15 members was Sent to LV-281 composed by experienced soldiers so for them it was like a normal day of work, the marines will arrive and be divided into teams of 2 the first team would cover the outside of the colony and the second team the inside part of the Complex after 2 hours the first team lost contact with the second team so the second team was sent to see what happened to the first team, arriving there all of the first team were dead, some without heads, the first class soldier elliot Shire said "SHIT THEY CAN NOT HAVE GONE! WHAT THE HELL HAVE HERE!?" When then a dark figure appears behind the team then elliot says "Were you not gone ?! Now die for it!" Elliot shoots the dark figure and all the marines shoot together when they go to see the damage they do there was nothing else there when they hear a scream very close to them that was when his smartgunner was caught by the figure, everyone began to search the area for his Smartgunner, until elliot and 3 others find what remains of their smartgunner then the marine next to elliot screams in such a way that it was not a normal cry when elliot looks at 2 sheets in the marine's chest then the marine is pushed by the figure Dark, elliot without waiting unloads everything that had in his weapon in the dark figure then the figure leaps behind elliot and cuts his thighs the figure leaps forward again of elliot but does not hit elliot but yes the other marine that was next to him cutting Viciously the throat of the marine then elliot begins to cry and shouts "WHY ME ?! WHY ?!" The dark figure then looks at Elliot and sees how the young boy cried, watched as he wanted to just go home and live his normal life, elliot's pulse rifle was zeroed, without ammunition so the figure is invisible and disappears without leaving Traces that it was she who killed the 2 young marines, after that day elliot never was the same and always prayed to God that the figure has spared him



How do you intend to play your predator (as in, describe HOW you will act/play your predator. This will weigh HEAVILY and frequently breaking from this MAY result in removal)?:

I would be hiding in the shadows attacking only whoever it takes to get 1 trophy (or more) not be attacking the 2 sides (aliens and marines) I would be neutral anyway but I do not mean that I will NEVER attack a marine or An alien yes I'll attack if I see her as a prey to me

Why should we whitelist you?

I would like to try new things whenever I look for new things and I'm sure I will not disappoint the CM community if I fail in this I perfectly understand my mistake

Have you been banned from CM in the last month for any reason (we will check, and lies may result in immediate denial)?
no
Are you currently banned from any other servers and if so, why?
no
Do you understand that any player - donor or otherwise - can have their whitelist status revoked should they break our rules or disobey the Predator Code of Honor?
yes

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CrimsonAerospace
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Re: S'hamit'che'lue(The Cloaked one)

Post by CrimsonAerospace » 08 Aug 2017, 15:22

First post, will be auto-denied.
Kane "Saint" Romano - Laid back kid just trying to see the galaxy. Reveres the dead, and takes it upon himself to record all the actions and deaths of the Battalion to pass on.
Dossier ---> viewtopic.php?f=91&t=16104

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Cairath
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Re: S'hamit'che'lue(The Cloaked one)

Post by Cairath » 08 Aug 2017, 15:48

It might sound a bit mean, but that blob of text you wrote under character background is extremely hard to read. Sentences stretch like pasta and it feels like it was translated using Google Translate. Also, you appear to lack the ability to grasp basic tenses, as you jump from present tense to past tense in the same sentence, especially in the latter parts of your character background.
This is what dreams nightmares are made of.

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shyshadow
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Re: S'hamit'che'lue(The Cloaked one)

Post by shyshadow » 08 Aug 2017, 19:37

First post, doesn't look good already. The grammar and lack there of is a pain to read. Not to mention how bad the story actually is, very little detail about your predator. It seemingly is about Elliot more then your own predator, it's also extremely cookie cutter, I very much doubt you'll be accepted, while I'm being harsh. It's for good reason. You are not ready for predator -1.
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northcote4
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Re: S'hamit'che'lue(The Cloaked one)

Post by northcote4 » 08 Aug 2017, 21:45

Alrighty then. I'll give this a quick breakdown so maybe you'll learn something, if you wish to reapply one day.

First post on the forums, which is an automatic -1 and will be a denial.
I've never seen you about myself, so I can't judge your character personally.
Your story is incredibly below average, and seems to be more about your marine character Elliot more than the predator himself.
Your playstyle really doesn't tell us much of anything. Not exclusively hunting one side or the other is what is expected of all hunters, per the honour code.

Predator applications are required to be outstanding. This is very, very far from that.
The story of Edgardo and A Guy Named Squid. Good read. Greentext ahoy. - https://1d4chan.org/wiki/The_Ballad_of_Edgardo

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Feweh
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Re: S'hamit'che'lue(The Cloaked one)

Post by Feweh » 09 Aug 2017, 15:59

Ah the usual first post on the forums and dont even respond to response.

Denied

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