Karan'de Te'kte - MattAtlas' Predator Application

[MattAtlas]

Byond ID:
- MattAtlas

Marine Name (so we know who you are; if you play alien mostly, state that here):
- Lyla Bennett, Lily (Synthetic)

Name of the character you want whitelisted (The name your predator will use. This must match your in-game predator name):
- Karan'de Te'kte

Are you familiar with the Predator Code Of Honor?
- Yes, I am.

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Character background (An ADEQUATE description and story of your predators background):

Karan'de was born into the Te'kte clan. His clan was not among the highest in the rung, but they were well off. From birth, it was drilled into his mind what the Hunt was, how Yautja dedicated their lives to them, and how experienced hunters lived for the hunt. These continous stories of Yautja collecting prey and furthering their own skills had gained Karan'de's interest. From a very young age, he trained and trained, wishing to be like the more experienced hunters in his clan. Hearing of the stories where prey were slaughtered by Yautja and transformed into trophies slowly influenced him to think that the other species only served as means to further the Yautja's hunting capabilities. They let the serpents and humans live on for them to advance and provide the hunters with a bigger challenge. And for Karan'de, every time the humans and serpents posed a challenge, the Yautja leaped forward and effortlessly bested both challenges. The tales of hunters from his clan were the tales that he wanted to recreate. He trained to, in other words, be the spearhead hunter. A hunter his clan could be proud of. Of course, he still respected the prey of said tales for at least putting up a challenge, but he was continuously told by his clan's hunters to not underestimate prey. To keep a sharp mind within your head is to win a hunt, they told him. When his training had come to an end, it was finally time for his first hunt. He attempted to train more than anyone else, he'd boast about the physical strength that he gained through rigorous training to his peers, and finally the time came to prove to his clan that he deserved to be blooded. He joined a few more un-blooded in their first hunt. Their number was no matter to him, as he was sure that he'd best them both in hunting. The planet they were to be dropped in was a planet full with jungles, a planet where stealthy killers excelled. This only made Karan'de want to do better, he wanted to show he could excel in every possible environment and best his foes. Thus, it was time for Karan'de to show his worth to the Elites.


Karan'de uncloaks from above a tree branch. He hated not showing his presence, but unfortunately it was necessary to acknowledge what his prey is. He learnt as much from some of the experienced hunters' tales, and he thought that it was an efficient, albeit too safe method to understand what your prey is. He looks down from the branch and spots a serpent walking through the plantlife. A perfect trophy to show off, he thinks. Perhaps this one can put up a challenge. He jumps down from the tree branch and uncloaks, the rustling of the plants drawing the serpent's attention. It turns around to look at the towering Yautja, as Karan'de charges at the serpent with his wrist blades. After a short fight, the fight went exactly how Karan'de predicted. He brutally slaughtered the serpent, beheading it to take as his own trophy. He collects the serpent's skull as his own trophy, yet, it was not enough for Karan'de. It was almost too easy. He wanted to show he was capable of more than just one serpent kill.
Unfortunately, he had let his guard down. He failed at keeping a sharp mind. He turns around, managing to extend his wrist blades just in time, as a new serpent leaps directly at him. His reflexes were not perfect, and he had let his guard down. He barely dodges the brunt of the attack, however, the serpent manages to scar the top of his right shoulder, almost up to the neck. Infuriated by the serpent's attack, Karan'de roars, once again engaging into a vicious battle with the next serpent. This one was much stronger than the previous one, perhaps it was an older one, but the results of fight was what Karan'de wanted to avoid. He did not want to be bested in tactics by a mere serpent, yet he was scarred by one because he let his guard down. He manages to slay the serpent after a hard fought battle, severing its head to take as a trophy. He pridefully roars, having completed his challenge. He proved his worth.


Karan'de returned to his clan's Elites. He was complimented on his new trophies, and Karan'de acknowledged the praise. This fight had left a permanent mark on Karan'de, however-- the result of a hunt that ended up scarring him, a wound that reminded him of how a hunter should hunt. He vowed to never commit the same mistake in a hunt again. He considered it dishonorable that a prideful warrior such as him had managed to get himself scarred by a serpent simply because he let his guard down. He could not accept it. His prey advanced in technology and tactics, and he needed to do the same. Now a Blooded Yautja, it was up to him to continue his clan's line and attain the fame he longed for. This reflection did not change who Karan'de was-- he was still the prideful warrior he used to be in his unblooded days, but a warrior's mind can be sharpened despite that. There was much to do and much to hunt. The only thing he could do was continue training, until he could never commit the same mistakes in a hunt. An impossible reality, but it is what Karan'de wishes to attain, and what drives him forward. A status as one of the best hunters. He could finally hunt his own trophies and pass down stories of his hunt, perhaps attain an higher status in the future.

And this was just the beginning.
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How do you intend to play your predator (as in, describe HOW you will act/play your predator)?
- We have way too many stealthy predators that end up doing not much the entire round, often choosing to just *laugh at groups of marines and that's it. This is understandable, I don't have problems with this-- but there are far too many. Predators are supposed to be a noticeable antagonistic force, and this is what I aim to be.
Karan'de will be an extremely prideful warrior, who believes the Yautja to be above all species-- thinking of humans and serpents' existence as only prey to the Yautja, prey that only serves to further the Yautja's hunting prowess. He will boast about his strength in subtle or obvious ways, such as having his chest mostly exposed with the less-covering armour types and toying with the humans and xenomorphs in combat, or, for example, by throwing a decapitated marine whose head was collected as a trophy at a group of marines. My playstyle will be aggressive-- I can't guarantee I'll kill many, but I'll have fun and at least engage both sides in doing so. I will approach my prey first and attack them instead of provoking them until they fight me. Choosing my prey will come down to choosing whoever's unfortunate to be strong enough for both sides, as my predator will act extremely disrespectful to weak prey and strong but easily killed prey. He will aim to collect many trophies and increase his clan's and his own pride through sheer brute strength. I understand that there will not be many opportunities to act like this, but it is part of playing any playstyle that does not rely on observing. I absolutely despise annoying LRP actions, thus, Karan'de won't tolerate any such display of annoyance and most likely use those LRP players as merely shows for his brute strength.

Why should we whitelist you?
- One of the more obvious reasons is that I have a synthetic whitelist, and I'd like to think I roleplay quite well. I'm very invested into roleplay and despise LRP actions. I've been here a while, enough to know most of the game's mechanics, and I absolutely love Predator lore and what Predators CAN be. I want to play an HRP antagonistic role, and I also want to guarantee that I will play it well. Furthermore, I believe I'm able to give enjoyment to both sides. I'd like to think I'm robust enough to not die instantly to a mature lurker. Of course, being a Predator is /not/ just about killing, and with the previous section I give an idea of my general RP level.

Have you been banned from CM in the last month for any reason (we will check, and lies may result in immediate denial)?
- Not at all.

Are you currently banned from any other servers and if so, why?
- Nope.

Do you understand that any player - donor or otherwise - can have their whitelist status revoked should they break our rules or disobey the Predator Code of Honor?
- Yes, I do. This was one of the conditions of the Synthetic whitelist and this is a very obvious part of any whitelist.

[Karmac]

at a young age, he wanted to be a predator

and then as an adult, he was a predator

and then he fought a xeno but didn't notice another xeno, this deeply changed him

the end


Don't get me wrong the story was well-written, but it competely fails to tell me anything unique about your predator and doesn't do much to relate to your preferred playstyle. It's just too bare bones and un-imaginitive for me to appreciate as it is, -1.

[YourGuts]

I've role-played with Lily here and there, and Mister Atlas does a good job. This application isn't bad either, though there are a few parts which were just clunky when read aloud, you repeat the same adjectives and verbs too frequently, and to me personally, I find it bland. I feel like you could've done better in that regard. Furthermore, there isn't a whole lot of information given in the story, you take a paragraph to explain that he trained, and aspired to be like Yautja before him. You do however clear this up when answering how you intend to play, but what I would've loved to see is more of Karande's personality, how he talks, walks, carries himself and the like. With all that said, based on the interactions we've had, and your OOC demeanor, I'm neutral on this app, it really feels like you could've done better here.

[Nickvr628]

often choosing to just *laugh at groups of marines and that's it.

Lest we forget that in the original predator movie, he spends most of his time doing exactly that.

Otherwise, decent app, your writing needs a bit of work but this is not an English Composition class so it hardly matters. I think a more aggressive Predator could be fun to see.

[MattAtlas]

Don't get me wrong the story was well-written, but it competely fails to tell me anything unique about your predator and doesn't do much to relate to your preferred playstyle. It's just too bare bones and un-imaginitive for me to appreciate as it is, -1.

Right, thanks for the criticism. What would've you liked to see other than what I've written? I did think I wrote enough to relate to the playstyle I wrote, mainly through what he thought during the hunt and after killing the second serpent.

[MattAtlas]

I've role-played with Lily here and there, and Mister Atlas does a good job. This application isn't bad either, though there are a few parts which were just clunky when read aloud, you repeat the same adjectives and verbs too frequently, and to me personally, I find it bland. I feel like you could've done better in that regard. Furthermore, there isn't a whole lot of information given in the story, you take a paragraph to explain that he trained, and aspired to be like Yautja before him. You do however clear this up when answering how you intend to play, but what I would've loved to see is more of Karande's personality, how he talks, walks, carries himself and the like. With all that said, based on the interactions we've had, and your OOC demeanor, I'm neutral on this app, it really feels like you could've done better here.

Thanks for the more insightful criticism. I will admit-- that's one of my biggest faults in my writing. One of the main reasons I had to write this app was to iron out the kinks in my writing and get some feedback while potentially getting to play a Predator.
I wanted to give a hint of Karan'de's personality through how he hunted his prey and what he felt and thought while hunting the prey-- not how he talks. I did give a hint of how he'd act in the playstyle section, as I consider putting demeanour there more significant than putting it in the story itself. I also didn't want to write more because I'm not a fan of filler. I really did think I conveyed Karan'de's personality well enough but given the criticism I'm receiving I was perhaps wrong. Thank you regardless for the feedback, it's appreciated.

[YourGuts]

Thanks for the more insightful criticism. I will admit-- that's one of my biggest faults in my writing. One of the main reasons I had to write this app was to iron out the kinks in my writing and get some feedback while potentially getting to play a Predator.
I wanted to give a hint of Karan'de's personality through how he hunted his prey and what he felt and thought while hunting the prey-- not how he talks. I did give a hint of how he'd act in the playstyle section, as I consider putting demeanour there more significant than putting it in the story itself. I also didn't want to write more because I'm not a fan of filler. I really did think I conveyed Karan'de's personality well enough but given the criticism I'm receiving I was perhaps wrong. Thank you regardless for the feedback, it's appreciated.

Of course dude, glad I could help. Good luck with the rest of your application! <3

[x31stOverlord]

If you can. Try not to make multiple posts to respond to comments etc. Just compile it into one reply. It can clog up everything! I'll be looking at this and providing my feedback when I get home from work.

[Karmac]

The lack of individuality guts pointed out was my main issue with the story, you include a lot of information but outside of the few sentences when your hunting, none of it tells me anything personal about the predm

[Jakkkk]

While this is a step up from Lily's backstory, it fails to do what hers did with explaining her personality and such. Neutral leaning towards -1 at the moment.

[MattAtlas]

While this is a step up from Lily's backstory, it fails to do what hers did with explaining her personality and such. Neutral leaning towards -1 at the moment.

I see, thank you for the feedback anyways. Do you think there just wasn't any personality explained or was what I've written just not enough?

[Kavlo]

Application definitely has quantity to it that's for sure which a good thing to see but with the quantity it does lack some quality mainly as people have already pointed out being in the backstory department. It's a good read if you want to know what they did to get to current day but not much in actually telling actually about the character you want to play.
Also relating to how you play your predator you mention attacking first instead of trying to provoke your prey. The reason predators mainly do this is since going and attacking people almost randomly is a slippery slop to getting a player report.

Overall while I think you definitely put a good amount of effort into this application you basically swung and got a foul ball, my only recommendation would be to change the backstory to more focus on showing off your character's personality and traits rather than what they did to get to the current day.

-1.

[MattAtlas]

Application definitely has quantity to it that's for sure which a good thing to see but with the quantity it does lack some quality mainly as people have already pointed out being in the backstory department. It's a good read if you want to know what they did to get to current day but not much in actually telling actually about the character you want to play.
Also relating to how you play your predator you mention attacking first instead of trying to provoke your prey. The reason predators mainly do this is since going and attacking people almost randomly is a slippery slop to getting a player report.

Overall while I think you definitely put a good amount of effort into this application you basically swung and got a foul ball, my only recommendation would be to change the backstory to more focus on showing off your character's personality and traits rather than what they did to get to the current day.

-1.

Yes, I agree. Thank you for the feedback.

I think keeping this open is a waste of time right now. I'll ask for this to be rescinded and I'll come up w/ a better backstory in a few months from now.

[Imperator_Titan]

Aye, kavlo pretty much cleared it up honestly. Good luck in your next app.

[Ghostdex]

Aye, kavlo pretty much cleared it up honestly. Good luck in your next app.

This. Also you handled criticism decently well so I hope you do indeed craft a greater story next time

[Emeraldblood]

Resolved - Application was withdrawn by app poster. Given the time spent waiting, you can post a new app on 7/26 or later.