Bhu'ja Dteinou The Speaker of the dead

[sirhelgate]

Byond ID: Sirhelgate

Marine Name (so we know who you are; if you play alien mostly, state that here): Alan Wulfegang (formally Alan Wolf), I tend to also leave myself available for alien spawn and wind up there.

Name of the character you want whitelisted (The name your predator will use. This must match your in-game predator name): bhu'ja dteinou

Are you familiar with the Predator Code Of Honor? Yes, When I xeno I tend to stalk preds through the vents out of morbid curiousity

Character background (An ADEQUATE description and story of your predators background):
Bhu'ja had an child hood filled, listening to the older hunters tales of their hunts, what they hunted and where. Stories drew and filled his mind as he grew up, he wanted to gain a story to tell as epic as theirs. He began to do his best to specifically remember each detail about his early hunts. He began to find there was something missing, he could tell the story of the short little hunts he had quite easily, it was no problem. But it left so much to be desired, then he discovered it, the means as to which he'd become a legendary hunter.
He decided, "It's not just about the story of the hunt that was thrilling, it was WHAT they hunted." He began to do more to follow his prey before he struck after it. He found that sometimes, what seemed like a terrible and great enemy, when no one was looking was weak and sad. What seemed like it was ferocious prey was damaged. He refocused his efforts, following, evaluating, gathering information on his pray as he went. The prey of choice tonight used hefty slug throwing weapons, loaded from a tube along the barrel. The Prey wore a Carapace of green armor, marked with a deaths-head, a depiction of a skull, across the front of it. He carried a Array of throwing knives that glimmered and glinted with the skill wrought by mass manufacturing. The prey Stowed small protein bars in his helmet. The details of how that prey fights, to the preys habbits. He learns and watches all of it. He'll remember it to recount it later when he tells the story of how he tracked, found the prey worthy, and then set his trap.
The time came and he lured the marine away, using a loose weapon with a juicy attachment known as a barrel charger. Leaving it laying just inside a doorway to which he was watching, his mandibles tightened with anticipation. Waiting for the prey to approach the door and take his bait. That's when he saw it, the other, most dangerous form of prey, A xenomorph. The warrior caste closed distance faster than he anticipated, and hurled the marine at the wall behind him. Well this was certainly an unexpected twist... The warrior caste was ancient, pitted with countless scars from bullets across it's chewed carapace. It's form slicked with streaks and rivulets of blood from ripping countless marines limb from limb. Worse off... It had the nerve to interrupt the big moment of his hunt! The marine screaming all of the while, firing wildly for his dear life, caught the blurr of movement as Bhu'ja hurled himself from beside his intended prey at the Warrior.

This was his Arena, his hunt, the interloper would not be tolerated... Whether the marine ends up a trophy, or walking away with his own tale of desperate survival, well that's a story for another time.


How do you intend to play your predator (as in, describe HOW you will act/play your predator)?
Bhu'ja the theatrical, the story teller, the archivist. Reaccounting the stories of previous hunts and the dead. He'll follow intended prey, marines or otherwise, he believes to be worthy, until a better one presents it's self. But he'll do his best to lure and bait marines and xenos away from the others if he intends to fight them. Sometimes directly offering valuable marine equipment up to marines willing to challenge him for it. He'll likely be scouring fights or skrimishes for the equipment of fallen marines to use as bait. Maybe even using that marine he's lured away as bait for an even bigger prize of a xeno. Bhu'ja all the while, will be doing his best to record and note down any detail about the ones he ends up hunting, to be re-accounted later to warriors and new bloods alike.
- small notes; He has a strong and deep dislike of Tank Crewmen, not hatred, just really dislikes them for clear and obvious reasons.
- Views smartgunners as roundly 'dishonorable' and avoids direct contact with squads with them in their midst, lest he stain himself with the blood of prey who can't even use it's own skill to aim.
- Views Bill Carson as the most worthy prey to hunt, sorry Bill.

Why should we whitelist you?
I'm big on RP, I often go for more RP oriented roles even when I do pick up a marine, I've recently taken to MTing, but in the past have done a mixture of MP, SO, SL, Specialist. My characters tend to be more focused on setting around rp. When I xenomorph I like to do rp taunts like 'drags claws along glass', 'bites a chunk out of a corpse infront of it' with in eyeshot of the marines so they can see the emote. Can't always get it off, and have to be quick with the post due to the rather obvious reaction marines have to seeing xenos.

Have you been banned from CM in the last month for any reason (we will check, and lies may result in immediate denial)? I have not

Are you currently banned from any other servers and if so, why? Not currently

Do you understand that any player - donor or otherwise - can have their whitelist status revoked should they break our rules or disobey the Predator Code of Honor?
Ofcourse, I Wouldn't expect to be kept around if I started ruining things for other people.

[z a n e b o t]

I'm gonna have to go with a -1 on this, your backstory is fairly memey and doesn't really explain anything about your predator and is also very short. The way you intend to play your predator is basically the generic stalker predator. Not many posts on the forums and I haven't seen much of you ingame if at all.

[sirhelgate]

I'd love to get some advise then! I am usually told that Preds don't accept super unique backstories that are long winded.

[Fitchace]

I will hide behind my marines and send countless troops to destroy you no matter the cost!!!!!

[Sambalu]

Low forum posts, and I don't recall seeing you in-game at all.
The story is also a bit on the short side, and could also be a bit less memey. -1.
On a side note, if you get denied and apply again, don't put the answers in a color/glow tag.
Having your entire backstory/reasons you should be whitelisted colored makes it a bit difficult to read.

[Karmac]

get rid of the fucking christmas lights and I might bother reading this

[sirhelgate]

I would get rid of the lights if we could edit our applications post an hour they've been up.

[Drownie]

I often read many Pred WT Applications, but only reply when a warning to the player is really needed, you're one.

This story is weak, small and has many grammatical errors(I do it alot too but.. damn!), you used the the big cliche of a schizophrenic stalker always watching its prey.
We had here many Preds that followed the modus operandi of a Predator that stay in the darkness just watching the movement - this is generic and monotonus, please give us something new.

You memed far away from the usual, and your inactivity on the Forum and CM(atleast in my TM) doesn't help you, I'll go with a -1.

Heyy, there's still hope! you can try to fit in the community better and work in a better story which maybe can bring us a fearless and impetuous Predator with an awesome background.

PS: AVOID MEMES

[x31stOverlord]

Wew. Alright, let's analyse:

- The story was short and well, memey, take a look at some of the approved Pred apps and then have a look at yours. You may find someway to improve the story if you don't try too hard to relate it to mechanics in rounds, you don't need to describe the marines eat bars and shit we don't care about the eat bars.

- The story itself was Full. Of. Full. Stops. You don't need a fullstop at the end of every sentence, invite the comma into your life.

- Formatting could use a lot of work, it doesn't need to glow like a neon rave light. It is off putting to read and only elevates the idea of drawing attention to it through flashy lights rather than the merits of the story. Get rid of the lights.

-Unknown person. At least to me, I haven't seen you in game so I can't confirm or deny your level of maturity ingame and the level of RP you show. I'll try to keep an eye out for you in future to get a guage on your ability.

Overall I'm going to leave a -1 and I hope that my critiques will allow you to improve the application in future. If it gets denied just spend the 3 months on working on the app piece by piece and just spend some game time on getting some recognition and showcase your RP. Try CL perhaps?

Edits: Grammar. Damn phone.

[sirhelgate]

Everyone tells me that stalking is generic and monotonous, but what's the alternative to it primarily? Walking up to the marine FOB with the cloak down, Anouncing loudly 'GREETINGS! I AM HERE TO HUNT! BRING ME YOUR MOST WORTHY!' and just waiting for the marines to maaaybe not gun you down on sight? I just really want some insight into the alternative.

[x31stOverlord]

TBH, I'm gonna spitball it, the stalker tactic is the only real successful one and you are not bound to follow what playstyle you set out in your app in any case.

As you said, it is ridiculous to think the marines will do anything other than open fire if you walk up to them.

Maybe try to add some sort of playstyle that you will do when not in the hunt? I know a few of our players try making little shrines and decorating them with skulls to add a nice find. Maybe some sort of RP ritual you do before or after a kill etc.

[Twizz]

Like the story, hate cliffhangers but that makes it interesting. No great tale of 'HUGE GLORIOUS SUCCESS EVERYTHING WENT SMOOTH AND ACHIEVED INFINITE CONFIDENCE' or whatever. But instead a cliffhanger at a great moment. Grammar i dont really mind, Preds overall dont talk alot and rather emote-spam from my experience.

As for your playstyle, its not so different from the classical 'Observe, study, then kill'. But whats interesting is that you intend to do it more RP-focused, something you could do besides your Hunt in the spare time re-build battles with corpses, for example build a chair, put a marine corpse ontop of it and then put a weapon in the corpse's hand. On the other side of the room xenomorph corpses. To tell a tale / story with scenerey, or document Marines because you described your pred as 'The Archivist'.

One last thing considering the playstyle, for a map like LV or Ice you can from roundstart setup / tell a story by LV's Pred ruins or Ice's crashed ship, then lure Marines which dont immedieatly shoot you towards the ruins and see if they figure out the Story you're trying to tell. Doing so could be easier by uncloaking where you have only one Marine in visual and then perform a /me *Points to -Direction- / -Object-* then walk to it and cloak again untill you arrive at the location.

Overall im excited to see how you do end up playing your pred and believe you can bring something new to the game but i rarely ever see you in-game infact i never did except once. If you could state a reason why or tell what you have been 'maining' recently that would give people the chance to look out for you and judge you and then give better feedback. But because of the Christmas Text and i never saw you so far im going towards a -1, i will change my opinion maybe the following days if i see you more in-game and the way you act.

[sirhelgate]

Fair Advise Twizz and Overlord

[Kavlo]

Yea gotta start this with having bring as fuck text makes this a pain to read.
Anyway onto the comment.

So first off the story is fairly short and doesn't have much detail to it. The gimmick of being a story teller/archivist could be done well but you haven't added much to it in the story at all. Also leaving it on a cliffhanger is odd to say the least but your backstory shouldn't really be missing chunks of it, it's supposed to tell us how they got from point A, being their childhood to what would be you playing predator in CM point B.
For how you'd play your predator it's a bit memey saying Bill Carson is the most worthy prey. You expand a bit more on what you mean by story teller/archivist but the rest of it pretty much comes down to "they will hunt honorably and don't like fighting certain prey".

I think overall the story could be fleshed out a bit more as well as how you intend to play your predator more than them being like a historian which don't get me wrong is a neat idea but just needs to be more description to it like previous information gathered or locations of knowledge they visited or why they're so interested more than "they liked hearing storys".

-1

[NethIafins]

Application style: 3/10 - colored mess and pretty much hard to read.
Backstory: 5/10 - bland, has some grammar errors. Otherwise okay
Quirk: 3/10 - bland although a light is seen. The quirk has to be in his character and unique parts of his huntstyle. Hunt ideas that every predator would try (like search for better pray - which every predator would do) or relationship with different marine classes can be included but shouldn't be a main part of it. Problem is that just this part "Bhu'ja the theatrical, the story teller, the archivist." can be considered a quirk, other stuff you explained is pretty standard for every Predator. I think every predator at some point (if able and creative) will try that. However being theatrical, forcefully storytelling ("LISTEN YOU MARINE KIDDO TO MY GRAND STORY") to everyone CAN be a great quirk - something UNIQUE to your character, something that would be out of character for other predator players.
Reasonings: 2/10 - I'm good on RP is the worst you can write there. If you are good roleplayer - provide short examples of stories from your best RP rounds
Visibility: 3/10 - you are pretty new and i don't know you almost at all which sometimes is a good thing but eh

Verdict: promising but highly lacking in everything
Try again later
-1

[Imperator_Titan]

Okay, you need to read through the accepted apps. See what got them through and compare it to this one. It's generally all around weak. Multiple mistakes in the backstory and all around the app.

-1

[nerocavalier]

-1.

Please improve on the story next time. It comes off as memey because somehow Predators would pay enough attention to protein bars of all things.

[Emeraldblood]

Resolved - Denied; you can appeal again in two months.