H'Chak Vadcha Predator Application

Locked
User avatar
iiZodin
Registered user
Posts: 16
Joined: 23 Feb 2018, 20:48
Byond: iiZodin

H'Chak Vadcha Predator Application

Post by iiZodin » 08 Dec 2018, 20:25

Byond ID: iiZodin

Marine Name (so we know who you are; if you play alien mostly, state that here): Richard Taxar (I mainly play Xeno but I've been playing Marine more often lately.)

Name of the character you want whitelisted (The name your predator will use. This must match your in-game predator name): H'chak Vadcha

Are you familiar with the Predator Code Of Honor? Yes, I am.

Character background (An ADEQUATE description and story of your predators background):
As a child, H'chak had always been fond of watching everything around him. He watched the way the other younglings trained and when he had troubles in his own training he would recall those observations to use them to help himself. He had always taken trips outside of the village to track wildlife, and observe them, purely for his amusement. As he aged so did his skills, all to the point of him completing his first hunt and beginning to prepare for his first Serpent hunt, he was eager for it, and could barely wait.

H'chak crouched down on the cliff, the night was silent and the only thing that could be heard was the soft wind and the soft breathing of H'chak. He looked around the dense forest through his mask's thermal vision so that he could see if the planet held other creatures other than the Serpent that was placed there. He spotted a creature that seemed to be running from something, H'chak then realized that the creature was being chased by the Serpent. H’chak decided to observe the Serpent, to watch any faults it made whilst hunting and attacking the creature, in his observations he realized that the Serpent had a pattern of attacking, it always seemed to attack first with a huge pounce then with its right and then lash with its tail followed by another sudden pounce. H’chak noted this carefully and made sure to remember it to put to use in his battle with the Serpent.

He was on the move towards them, as he got closer he began to hear how brutal the fight was he could hear the ripping tears of flesh and the screeches of pain, perhaps could this creature kill the Serpent before him? He realized he should probably get there quickly before his prey was killed off, but as he arrived he realized that those screams of pain, those sounds of lacerated meat, were all from the creature itself, not the Serpent.

As H'chak arrived to the scene he witnessed the creature's last dying screech before its head dropped down dead to the ground. He unsheathed his wrist blades as the Serpent turned its head towards him. He prepared himself for the battle and the oncoming pounce that he noted earlier. The Serpent pounced at him just as he expected, he was ready for it and reacted by putting his shoulder out to halt the Serpent’s pounce, which made it fall back down. In the moment that it fell H’chak was onto it and attacked it viciously with his wrist blades, he scored a critical hit. In his mind this fight was as good as over, he’d finish it in the next few moves.

However...when the Serpent charged at him to pounce again, him expecting it he prepared to stick his wrist blades out for it to pounce into it and land another critical hit, however...this Serpent was surprisingly intelligent, it pounced not in the direction he expected but towards his feet instead, and knocked him over, clawing at him as he fell and as he hit the ground.

The Serpent had slashed him so much that his mask had come off at one point. He was shocked by the sudden change in its tactics, but he quickly adapted himself and pushed the Serpent off of him. He got back, his face covered with slashes, with the stinging pain coming to him he prepared himself again...this time he will not be caught by surprise. -Cut to around 13 minutes later- H’chak laid there, sitting next to his finished prey. He had won, and he felt proud and glad. Despite him taking on damage and being caught off-guard by the Serpent, he came out on top, and now he shall be blooded and he can continue his life, as a true Hunter.

How do you intend to play your predator (as in, describe HOW you will act/play your predator)? I intend to play my predator as a more commonly used route, I would go through the battlefield uncloaked trying to find suitable prey, once I find an ample candidate I would cloak myself and stalk them a bit to understand what kind of player they are and to try to notice any weaknesses or strengths of them. After this is done I'll try to lead them or chase them to a suitable area that I would have already chosen. Or I’ll just flat out put my hands out saying come at me. I would also like to be a merciful Predator, for instance I would still challenge a Ravager I see is worthy when I know the Xenos are losing or are struggling, but I wouldn't kill the Ravager I would likely down it and let its Sisters drag it to safer ground, and just claim my normal victory over the Ravager.

Why should we whitelist you? A reason for you to whitelist me would be because I'm a fairly decent RPer, and I would have the common sense to RP well in such a high HRP role. But in all honesty...I don't expect to be whitelisted with this application mainly for three reasons. One would be my possibly lackluster story, the other would be for how unknown I am, and finally my low amount of posts. An excuse I have for those reasons..would be that like..I honestly don’t like posting mainly because I don’t have a lot to say or anything to post about, and I'm not even sure if I'm "unknown" since it's been a while since I started this whitelist app.

Have you been banned from CM in the last month for any reason (we will check, and lies may result in immediate denial)? No, not in the last month.

Are you currently banned from any other servers and if so, why? No.

Do you understand that any player - donor or otherwise - can have their whitelist status revoked should they break our rules or disobey the Predator Code of Honor? Yes, I do.
Last edited by iiZodin on 08 Dec 2018, 20:35, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
iiZodin
Registered user
Posts: 16
Joined: 23 Feb 2018, 20:48
Byond: iiZodin

Re: H'Chak Vadcha Predator Application

Post by iiZodin » 08 Dec 2018, 20:32

A quick reply I would like to say is that, I'm sorry but due to school and other things going on in my life, I might take time replying to anything posted on this App, but I will make sure to check it once every day.

User avatar
iiZodin
Registered user
Posts: 16
Joined: 23 Feb 2018, 20:48
Byond: iiZodin

Re: H'Chak Vadcha Predator Application

Post by iiZodin » 08 Dec 2018, 20:36

ALSO, I am very sorry for making all this Bolded, Underlined, and Italicized. I was trying to make only the questions asked like that but I'm not that well used to this yet so I somehow made everything like that...sorry for any inconvenience.

User avatar
ThesoldierLLJK
Registered user
Posts: 1082
Joined: 29 May 2018, 15:08
Location: Florida
Byond: ThesoldierLLJK
Steam: thesoldier20

Re: H'Chak Vadcha Predator Application

Post by ThesoldierLLJK » 08 Dec 2018, 23:33

yeah you screwed this up big time bud, I can't even read it because of how you formatted it.

Good luck when you reapply
-1

User avatar
Karmac
Registered user
Posts: 2458
Joined: 08 Aug 2016, 00:29
Location: 'Straya
Byond: Karmac
Steam: Karmac

Re: H'Chak Vadcha Predator Application

Post by Karmac » 08 Dec 2018, 23:53

ThesoldierLLJK wrote:
08 Dec 2018, 23:33
yeah you screwed this up big time bud, I can't even read it because of how you formatted it.

Good luck when you reapply
-1
Garth Pawolski, or is it Powalski?

Back in action.

User avatar
spartanbobby
Registered user
Posts: 274
Joined: 20 Jun 2015, 20:58
Location: Scotland
Byond: spartanbobby

Re: H'Chak Vadcha Predator Application

Post by spartanbobby » 09 Dec 2018, 06:27

Karmac wrote:
08 Dec 2018, 23:53
!!! John 'Spartan' Murry Hulij thar'n !!! Pred Council Man

User avatar
Sambalu
Registered user
Posts: 267
Joined: 15 Feb 2018, 16:56
Location: The salt mines

Re: H'Chak Vadcha Predator Application

Post by Sambalu » 09 Dec 2018, 07:20

Low forum activity and the formatting just makes it painful to read.
Good luck next time.
-1

User avatar
Imperator_Titan
Registered user
Posts: 884
Joined: 05 Oct 2016, 13:14
Location: Dublin, Ireland
Byond: Imperator_Titan

Re: H'Chak Vadcha Predator Application

Post by Imperator_Titan » 09 Dec 2018, 08:03

Weak story, weak playstyle, and the entire thing is unreadable.

-1

User avatar
iiZodin
Registered user
Posts: 16
Joined: 23 Feb 2018, 20:48
Byond: iiZodin

Re: H'Chak Vadcha Predator Application

Post by iiZodin » 09 Dec 2018, 09:37

Understandable, I'll try much better in the next three months. Thank you all for your reviews.

User avatar
Karmac
Registered user
Posts: 2458
Joined: 08 Aug 2016, 00:29
Location: 'Straya
Byond: Karmac
Steam: Karmac

Re: H'Chak Vadcha Predator Application

Post by Karmac » 09 Dec 2018, 16:59

As it stands it's genuinely too difficult to understand what you've written here, if you could throw this into a google doc and take it to the whitelist app help section on our discord, it would be much easier to provide actual feedback. If that's not an option feel free to send a forum PM containing the google doc to myself or spartanbobby, I know how much he loves double-checking applications.
Garth Pawolski, or is it Powalski?

Back in action.

User avatar
Ghostdex
Registered user
Posts: 544
Joined: 14 Feb 2015, 17:27
Location: Earth
Byond: Ghostdex

Re: H'Chak Vadcha Predator Application

Post by Ghostdex » 10 Dec 2018, 15:34

Imperator_Titan wrote:
09 Dec 2018, 08:03
Weak story, weak playstyle, and the entire thing is unreadable.

-1
John 'Fixer' Donable
Kara Walsh
Kjuhte-Teer
Part of the Yautja Council with SpartanBobby, Imperator_Titan, Sailor Dave and Symbiosis. Feel free to PM any of us with questions about Predator
Image
Image
Something a bit funny: http://i.imgur.com/lKfpvwd.png
The story of Operative Delta: https://imgur.com/Go3VIhs https://imgur.com/4K8AqdA

User avatar
420MYK
Registered user
Posts: 173
Joined: 02 Jan 2018, 00:57
Byond: 420M.Y.K

Re: H'Chak Vadcha Predator Application

Post by 420MYK » 10 Dec 2018, 18:22

Karmac wrote:
09 Dec 2018, 16:59
As it stands it's genuinely too difficult to understand what you've written here, if you could throw this into a google doc and take it to the whitelist app help section on our discord, it would be much easier to provide actual feedback. If that's not an option feel free to send a forum PM containing the google doc to myself or spartanbobby, I know how much he loves double-checking applications.
Pretty much. Ill tell you what i feel you already knew. The underlining really shot yourself in the foot, It wouldnt have been so bad had you noticed within the posting hour and could change it (My app was all green at first and nearly cost me too but i edited it in time) Jump on whitelist help and have a chat to the councils, other members etc realize and polish the mistakes and good luck in the future. As for my vote im not gonna throw a -1 At you coz i reserve them for people i dont like and really really terrible things. So instead ill remain

Neutral
Noxus Poppy is bae.

In game character name:Alice 'Snow' Falkner. Lar'ja H'chak


I may do stupid shit sometimes, but were marines its what we do. Always saving, rarely saved. Piss lead and blow shit up until you die. Rinse and repeat.

User avatar
iiZodin
Registered user
Posts: 16
Joined: 23 Feb 2018, 20:48
Byond: iiZodin

Re: H'Chak Vadcha Predator Application

Post by iiZodin » 10 Dec 2018, 21:00

Thank you all again for your tips and your criticism, I might try to do what Karmac said to do, not sure if it'll work but hopefully I can still get more decent feedback.

User avatar
Audi_Gzz
Registered user
Posts: 119
Joined: 06 Jul 2018, 12:48
Location: New York
Byond: Audi_Gzz

Re: H'Chak Vadcha Predator Application

Post by Audi_Gzz » 11 Dec 2018, 00:39

I'm not gonna lie bro. The app is poorly formatted you underlined your whole story and put on italics and bold text on top of that. Now about your story its kind of really bad and just reminds me of a pred who encounters a xeno who randomly pounces him after the pred watches and slashes his mask off. Similar to what happens in CM rounds kind of boring and bland it doesn't really show us any character or traits about your pred. I would suggest withdrawing this app and typing up a story in google doc so you can get a better idea and format it better and possibly talk in whitelist-app help other predator players will help you and will even if they give you harsh criticism it will be for the better good to be honest. Next time you make an app don't do anything special to the font or anything, leave that for the story. -1 from me brother man.
A council member of the Minority Delegation of CM SS13 alongside Bancrose and Mook.

User avatar
iiZodin
Registered user
Posts: 16
Joined: 23 Feb 2018, 20:48
Byond: iiZodin

Re: H'Chak Vadcha Predator Application

Post by iiZodin » 11 Dec 2018, 10:37

The formatting was honestly a terrible fuckup, and it’s so funny to me that I dicked myself over like that. Thanks again for the feedback, I’ll try to write a better story and come up with a possibly more interesting play style in the next three months. I’ll most definitely take the advice of those who told me to put it in the discoed to ask for more help, thank you all very much see you again in 3 months. I withdraw this application.

User avatar
Emeraldblood
Registered user
Posts: 1671
Joined: 19 Aug 2016, 21:04
Location: USA, Florida
Byond: Emerald Blood

Re: H'Chak Vadcha Predator Application

Post by Emeraldblood » 11 Dec 2018, 17:30

I'd suggest you come up with an improved story idea and run it through the whitelist app help section on the CM Discord. Do that, be active in the community, and don't royally mess up the formatting and you have a chance to be accepted. For now, this one isn't gonna cut it.

Resolved - Denied
Ban Appeal Users: If I've lifted your perma ban and you're still unable to log onto the server, send me a forum PM regarding it and I'll work to get it fixed in ~24 hours.

Emerald Blood: CM's mommy and the only head staff who does anything. Even though I hate you all sometimes, I still love you.

Locked