The Promise

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shyshadow
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The Promise

Post by shyshadow » 25 May 2017, 03:57

The brisk breaths, break the silence of the rain forest. The steady pattering of boots on the mud and dirt, the brushing against leaves and rustling of trees. All synchronize with the breaths, the grasp of the unknown broken by only the thought of a promise. The young man continues through the forest, running, sprinting, but from what? The young man continues his continuous sprint, the dark night blooms with uncertainty. The view of silhouettes and darkness stalk the young man, they lose their breath. Grasping onto a trunk of a sentinel, catching their own thoughts, their own breath. Propping themselves against the trunk, looking around for, something and yet he doesn't know what. The young man only knows of it's existence and capability , he rests against the trunk. Taking a seat, resting their sore being against it. Reaching for a flask on his waist, he smiles and takes a long deserved swig wiping off the clear liquid from his lips as with the sleeve of clothes. The young man sighs in relief, pain, annoyance, and agony. All these feelings and thoughts, yet none of it mattered. Resting, falling backwards onto the dirt and mud taking a moment to think, a moment to feel. The young man lays breathing with feeling, and yet with none. Almost lifeless but yet so much feeling.
The young man lays there only another moment, getting up wiping off the mud and dirt. Wiping off the mud from his hair, rearranging it back into it's original style. He chuckles at himself, realizing how stupid it was, and yet it was important.
The young man looks down at his neck, a silver chain hangs from his neck, and another one. An amber orange chain, the young man reaches down removing the pendant from his clothes. Revealing the beauty, the amount of detail placed into this pendant, a crescent only lies upon the surface, the smooth texture the cool feeling of the pendant. The young man tears at the sight of it, weeping, sobbing. He flicks open the pendent, revealing a picture of the young man. Besides himself is a woman, she's as beautiful as one can hope of. Her brown hair falling beside her face, the both of them smiling. The young man mutters "Oh, Maria." He smiles, still weeping and tearing he kisses the picture before shutting it closed. Turning it over to the backside, looking at the text engraved onto the back "Always with U Christopher". The young man brings it close to his chest, hugging it, embracing it, loving it.

The young man's moment of weakness is broken by the sound of rustling, the young man tucks it back into his clothes. Getting up from the floor, he scans the area for only a brief moment. Then quickly runs again into the dark of the jungle, sprinting from something. The sound of rustling from the tree tops, as if he were being chased. The sound of rustling getting closer as the the young man runs through the dense darkness. Only for void of the darkness revealing a shocking pain, his ankle trapped by a despicable device. The pain, the absolute agony in which the young man felt. Yet he couldn't feel it, not because of his will, not because of some medical magic, but because of a promise. He wails in agony, composing himself and proceeding to remove the devil's hand from his ankle. The pain is almost unbearable, but it's bearable for that young man. It's bearable because of a promise, tearing the trap from his ankle he stands. Almost in an instant falls down again, holding himself up being caught in the care of a sentinel's branches. Tossing themselves forward, stumbling, running; But from what?
Turning back to look for the unknown thing that chased him, bumping into something. Softer then wood, and yet still rough, looking forward to see what he had ran into. He was soon met with a large silhouette, towering over him. He was thoughtless, dumbfounded, amazed, terrified, and the silhouette lifted him up his clothes almost tearing at the silhouette's immense strength. The young man struggles to break free and the silhouette obliges, throwing them towards the trunk of a tree. The young man was confused, and in pain but his promise. He got up groaning in pain, looking at the silhouette that stood there in front of him as he sat groaning against the tree. He couldn't stay, he had got up and began to try and get away only to be stopped by the silhouette's grasp. Being thrown again, being smeared across the ground, dirt and mud covering his clothes, getting his footing. He was in pain but it wasn't going to stop him.

He'd leaned against a trunk, panting trying to not show weakness, he stood standing his ground barely managing to say "Fuck, you!". As he said that the silhouette began to reach behind them self, revealing a large sword. Similar to a katana, and yet so different. The young man leaned against the tree, his hand supporting him as he leans against it. Only a moment after the silhouette removes the sword. Torches begin to light on, engulfing the surrounding trees and area with a penetrating light. With that, he could finally see the silhouette. No longer a silhouette but a hunter, and he was being hunted, the height and large muscles that probably could tear him in two. He was surely to die, the hunter yet hadn't killed him it had only stood there poised with the sword in hand. The young man stood there, he had only thought of one thing and that was his promise. He reached for the blade that he had worn on his back, removing his machete, less elegant and more brutal then that of the hunter's blade. He was in so much pain, yet the young man swung, the young man's effort was futile.
The hunter bounced his blade off their own, the young man still continued trying to hit the hunter, and yet to no avail. The young man was tired, he could barely feel his own hands, his last swing to hit the hunter met with his blade flying from his grip. In that instance the blade, the hunter had nearly torn his throat, it rest upon his throat only an inch away. The hunter roared in fury as they used their sword to point towards the machete. He went to reach for it, and picked it up, he was tired but he couldn't be tired. Only a moment later the hunter began his vigorous assault on the young man, his speed no match for the hunter, cuts and scrapes formed along his own being, bleeding. He couldn't feel himself, he tired to parry the attacks, failing over and over. Until he finally parried one of the hunter's swing, for a brief moment the world slowed, the young man's heart raced and then the young man swung. Hitting the hunter's lower abdomen his blade stuck within the wound. The young man let go as the hunter roars in agony, the young man falls to the floor. His breath lost almost as his will to keep going and yet he had kept going.

The hunter roared in agony, tearing the machete from his wound, the luminescent green dripping from the blade and from the wound. The hunter was not only furious but ashamed, the young man couldn't move, his body numb. His own body didn't want to keep going and yet he clung he was willed not by his own accord by the promise that he made and he wanted to keep. The hunter grabbed hold of the young man, he didn't struggle he couldn't but he looked at the hunter. He was numb, he couldn't feel but he could feel everything, the young man hadn't kept his promise, the hunter unsheathed it's blade from it's unknown mechanism. The hunter laughed at the weak man, he began to remove his mask, revealing themselves to their game showing who had hunted them, and with that the the young man drove a bayonet into the chest of the creature. It roared in agony, proceeding to drive the blades into the young man's stomach. Driving it upwards, the hunter driving it's hand into the spinal cord, grabbing hold and ripping it whole from the poor dead man's body.
The two chains fell to floor as the dead man's head was torn from his body. The hunter had only barely seen it considering the two wounds that had been plaguing them with pain. Ripping the bayonet from their body, they quickly mended the wounds with some alien crystal, the wound cauterizing itself. The pain was numbed for the hunter, and permanently numbed for the now dead man. He looked at the two chains that had fell to the jungle's floor, they had picked them both up looking at each of them. Curious they figitted with the amber orange one first, opening it up they had only taken a moments notice to the picture, discarding it with little to no interest, throwing it to the floor. Looking at the silver one they examined the pendant that hung from the bottom of it, reading it "Christopher Odd, LCpL, 84th Regiment", they had now known whom they hunted and cared very little. Throwing it to the floor.
The hunter left with his trophy and new found honor.

(TBH this is my 2nd draft, because my 1st one got destroyed by some BS and I hate this one compared to the 1st and original one. It felt very synthetic compared to my 1st one, but I hope you enjoyed it regardless)
Last edited by shyshadow on 24 Jun 2017, 03:49, edited 3 times in total.
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Helgraf
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Re: The Promise

Post by Helgraf » 25 May 2017, 07:34

This is fucking depressing, but it's good.
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danmax67
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Re: The Promise

Post by danmax67 » 25 May 2017, 19:17

should've went for the head

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shyshadow
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Re: The Promise

Post by shyshadow » 29 May 2017, 19:49

Man, I just re-read my own work, and damn it kinda is depressing...
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TehSpoderman
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Re: The Promise

Post by TehSpoderman » 06 Jun 2017, 23:32

F e e l s B a d M a n
Duke 'Oddshot' Stroh - The Bamboozler
Mentor: June 5th - September 1st
Check out my mapping dumping grounds: http://www.colonial-marines.com/viewtop ... 14&t=14204 . It's where people share their mapping projects and ask for feedback. Check it out pls <3

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Re: The Promise

Post by DrPng » 07 Jun 2017, 16:20

i don't like to nit pick but god damn, you refereed to him as "young man" in almost every single sentence. nice story though +1111
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shyshadow
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Re: The Promise

Post by shyshadow » 07 Jun 2017, 17:24

DrPng wrote:i don't like to nit pick but god damn, you refereed to him as "young man" in almost every single sentence. nice story though +1111
Yeah, I was really trying to keep their name anonymous until the very end. It's suppose to be story about, well a young man. I probably could've referred to him as something else like youngster or something. However it was all in good fun. Glad you enjoyed it.
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DrPng
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Re: The Promise

Post by DrPng » 07 Jun 2017, 18:03

Yeah, it's like a story from the Predators movie from 2010 when they captured humans to kill. Will you be making more of these stories?
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shyshadow
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Re: The Promise

Post by shyshadow » 08 Jun 2017, 16:25

DrPng wrote:Yeah, it's like a story from the Predators movie from 2010 when they captured humans to kill. Will you be making more of these stories?
Umm, sorry for replying late but I might, if I ever get the urge to do so. This was more of a one off, just a simple story with a lot of meaning behind it. I think I can do more elaborate stories but for the time I'm a bit lazy and yeah. If I get the idea or thought of doing one I'll do it.
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