Verse 1:
"I've travelled this whole server of ours from Big Red to LV,
I've had sunstroke in Ice Colony and a swim in Trijent's sea,
I've seen sandbag FOBs on Prison and won a game of Basketball,
And I've fought with CLF squads in a maze of Hivelord walls!
I've met a Feweh Alt and seen a round without Xeno Salt,
But I've never met a nice Military Police main!"
The Chorus, which is sung by MPs as they gleefully tase fleeing Deltas:
"No, he's never met a nice Military Police main,
and that's not bloody surprising, eh?
'Cause we're a bunch of arrogant bastards,
who hate maintenance techs!"
Verse 2:
"I once got served in the Req Line after less than 4 weeks wait,
I've had lunches with the Captain where he paid and wasn't late,
I know a competent MT who doesn't drink while he's on the job,
I've seen a bravo engi who actually built a decent FOB,
I've met a robust cargo tech, and a fairly humble Spec,
But I've never met a nice Military Police main!"
Chorus:
"No, he's never met a nice Military Police main,
and that's not bloody surprising, eh?
'Cause we're a bunch of talentless dickheads,
who smell like farwas!"
Verse 3:
"I've survived an FF incident of the 22nd kind,
that's when a delta PFC burstfires you from behind,
I've got successful JTAC lazes after less than 40 calls,
I've even heard a decent MIDI played when the Almayer falls,
I've seen Wey-Yu fax the CL and a non-FFing GL,
But I've never met a nice Military Police main!"
Chorus:
"No, he's never met a nice Military Police main,
and that's not bloody surprising, eh?
'Cause we're a bunch of ignorant loudmouths,
with no sense of humour!"
Verse 4:
"I've met an Ancient Empress and she looked like Bill Carson,
at the CIC in Upper she's in charge of the DEFCON,
I've know a man from Trijent Dam who claimed to like the map,
I met a bloke who dropped a nade and didn't get golfclapped,
I've seen the Alamo recalled and an XO that wasn't bald,
But I've never met a nice Military Police main!"
Chorus:
"No, he's never met a nice Military Police main,
and that's not bloody surprising, eh?
Because we've never met one either,
Except for SSGT Kitter Koer,
and he's emigrated to Paradise!"
The MPs all stop tasing marines and look around before turning to each other and singing in unison.
"Yes, he's quite a nice Military Police main,
and he hardly ever arrests anyone!
And he's not a hardass at all,
that's why we put him in perma!"
Spoiler:
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Originally Posted by Pigeon
