Funny, Embarrassing, and General OMG Moments

[Ms.Degrasse]

- "CMP, What happened by research?"
- "Well..."

SS13_CM_ALiens_SynthXenoPredHumanMassacrePartyOfGibsAndBlood_PICTUREONLY.jpg

[Casada_Radio]

- "CMP, What happened by research?"
- "Well..."

SS13_CM_ALiens_SynthXenoPredHumanMassacrePartyOfGibsAndBlood_PICTUREONLY.jpg

Wut. Was there an epic AvP fight there?

[ScreamingIdiot]

Let me tell you about my most recent round as Slick "The Quick" Imes, W-Y Corporate Liaison.



After an uneventful start where I exchanged platitudes with the command staff, convinced the acting CO to let me deploy to "run inventories" on the colony that got wiped out by xenomorphs, and cried into a bottle of bad sake, i had an encounter with a couple of weirdos as soon as I deployed planetside.

They claimed to be "Intelligence Officers" working for the United Americas and that they were on a top-secret mission. I, being a corporate drone with a lifestyle emptier than the void surrounding the Almayer, jumped at the opportunity to ask them questions like I was straight out of some bad spy movie.

Them, not being man-child like myself, politely suppressed their disgust and told me to fuck off in code: "security clearance" this and "confidential" that.
Obviously not being able to grasp the limits of my power like any true American, I immediately went into a passive-aggressive tirade of veiled threats and legalese to get them to tell me what they knew about the colony. They valiantly held off my whining until they got to the CIC, whereupon they deputized the Military Police to slightly more forcefully tell me to fuck off.

Like all reasonable businessmen would, I immediately threw a tantrum, made more veiled threats, then sent fax demanding a deathsquad to purge the command staff of the ship, believing them to be either too incompetent or corrupt to see through two obvious conmen.
At this point some random marine tried to hold me hostage with a gun, but I gave her the slip and she was arrested after she tried blowing into my private dorm to kill me. The MPs had the gall to tell me I had no "conclusive evidence" of foul play as they stood in my blasted out, shrapnel-shredded office.

I'm not really sure if she was paid off by the agents or if she was some shit-for-brains unga dunga, but nevertheless I was utterly convinced I now had a hit on me courtesy of the Agents. Fortunately, my security backup arrived soon afterwards. Unfortunately, this backup consisted of two mercenaries, not the corporate deathsquad I requested.

Still, it was something, so I finally had the leverage I needed to storm into the CIC and demand an audience with the agents. The xenos had other plans, however, as just as the Agents arrived we received an announcement the xenomorphs managed to somehow launch one of the dropships at the USS Almayer. This dropship also happened to be filled with slavering xenomorphs.

Nevertheless I continued to convince the Agents to have a "private chat" with me as we (that being me, the Agents, my mercs, and a very angry WO) made our way to the shuttle the mercs used to get onboard. However, the Agents gave us the slip as soon as they got to the ground floor, so me and my mercs had to dash through the Almayer while xenos and marines screamed and died all around us.

Unfortunately, they beat us to it: they stole our fucking shuttle right under everyone's noses.

Seeing as how I was now stuck with a ship full of xenos and one very pissed off WO who had an order to arrest me on behalf of the escaped Agents, I made the wise decision to stall for time as I made my way back to my office.

We arrived without incident somehow, whereupon me and my merc buddies had a standoff with the MPs while I had my back to my private escape pod. Despite my most valiant efforts at haggling and bribing the WO, she refused to drop the charges.

I quietly gave the order for my mercs to kill everyone in the room but us.

One brief shootout later, and we escaped scot-free.

TL;DR: admin-event Intelligence Agents show up, kick me out of the CIC, I get a private security detail consisting of two mercs and try to lure the agents away to "talk things out," the Agents steal the merc's shuttle, me and the mercs escape anyway after murdering the WO. it was a good time, wish I'd gotten more screenshots.

[DriedMilk]

Xenos need surgery too...

Premise: Was an Elder Ravager, got critted, got thrown to a random analyzer and the synthetic Duke diagnosed me with a broken skull and IB...

[Dolth]

Here, an embarrassing thing I found.

[ThatOneDeveloper]

Didn't get any photos for this, but I was the XO last round, and glorious leader Tom Dinkle put me in charge of the operation. It was a hard battle at Solaris Ridge, and eventually I told marines to pull back and resupply at the FOB. We had taken heavy losses, but the RO had a crate ready, filled with materials, claymores, M56Ds, you get the idea. So the Alpha SL radios over the coordinates for the supply drop. Right in the middle of the FOB.

Meanwhile, the OB had just finished being loaded. One of my SOs thought the coordinates were for an OB. So he did the inevitable.

He fired it.

10 seconds later, every single channel is filled with screaming. The OB had just wiped out our entire marine force. Our. Entire. Force. Was. Gone. Only 10 marines or so survived.

I tell everyone left to evacuate, and then the PO goes SSD in the Alamo right as we're supposed to pull out. I have to launch it remotely.

Since Tom Dinkle died, we didn't get a mutiny or an execution for the SO's actions, but it was still a crazy round.

[Build_R_]

-Snip-

That's a perfect CL play, very business-like.

[SirMandrake]

Here, an embarrassing thing I found.

That's a big ooooff

[ScreamingIdiot]

That's a perfect CL play, very business-like.

if you can't beat them with your brilliance, baffle them with your bullshit, that's what I always say.

[Sargeantmuffinman]

>When the person who threw the signal flare gets more recognition than you.


https://i.imgur.com/07G64kh.mp4