More actions
"These Colonial Marines are some tough hombres, and they're packing state-of-the-art firepower. Nothing they can't handle... Right, Lieutenant?" - Burke to Lieutenant Gorman. Aliens
You awake from cryostasis in your Standard Military CS Uniform, yawning as you stretch out the rigidness that can come from staying in one position for so long. You look around, noticing you’re aboard the faithful vessel with its dreary grey walls, the USS Almayer. You shake your head briefly and look around, watching as the other marines follow the same routine and march outside the sleeping quarters. Following your fellow comrades to the preparation rooms to gear up and head to briefing, you ponder what kind of grunt work they’re shoving you into you to this time…
The Colonial Marines are the "Protagonist" of this game. They come out at about a hundred and at the end of the round most of them will be dead.
See Template:Marines for instructions on how to add a new job.
Command
The Command Department are those jackasses that just chill shipside. They talk big, but in reality they are around as bald as you are.
| Job | Role | Difficulty |
|---|---|---|
 Commanding Officer |
The entire USS Almayer is under your control. "Lead" your small battalion and complete the mission in a victory for the USCM! In reality, deploy at first drop with two honour guards and get killed by the queen metatargeting you. Think you're a special snowflake from your whitelist, get removed for being too quirky. If you don't deploy, blow up the console after a 50 Xeno hijack and become a staff officer to the XO. BE some poor private who bodyblocked you from your podium, say it's because of marine law on the forum. | Executive Officer Plus |
 Executive Officer |
Salvage the operation when the captain deploys halfway through after fucking everything up. Evacuate civilians at the end of every round, and run every op because the captain wants to play with his funny gun. Play an RTS game where the units just don't listen to you. Get arrested for every marine law violation possible. Kill a warrior with your sword at hijack. Get banned for BEing some guy with your shitty VP78. | This operation is a total shitshow and I am calling evacuation |
 Staff Officer |
Wake up at 7am, and log onto CM. Brew a nice coffee and watch cams the whole operation. Literally matter less than nothing and make no difference in the round. Deploy and become the biggest Squad Leader around. Be bald with your gun. Somehow both survive to the evacuation planetside and kill 2 Ravagers and a Crusher along the way. Be a shipside medic when no one else can with 0 doctor, 0 nurse, and 0 medic hours. | 7am Coffee Break |
 Senior Enlisted Advisor |
RP with your metafriends shipside and turn every cigarette on the Almayer into a grenade with your 1337 gamer knowledge | Invisible |
Auxiliary Support
The Auxiliary support personnel are tasked with supporting the marines either by providing support through firepower or other means.
| Job | Role | Difficulty |
|---|---|---|
 Pilot Officer 3 Pilot Officers maximum |
Play transport and launch at 12:32. Get capped by one runner that sneaks aboard. Never lock the doors, and have the queen walk up to you. Have your body rot in the cockpit. Play CAS and have nobody call CAS ever. Listen to a podcast on your second monitor. Catch up with the latest season of your new yaoi anime. | Taking a nap at your computer |
 Vehicle Crewman 2 Crewmen maximum |
Run the APC. Want to drive but find the current Driver main online. Ram everything. Get blocked in by resin walls and die a hero. pin a runner against a wall and grin as your steel grinds it's body to dust against a wall. GLORY TO THE ARMOURED DIVISION! |
EUROBEAT INTENSIFIES |
Military Police
Your Mission is simple: Cause a Mutiny. Kill Marines.
| Job | Role | Difficulty |
|---|---|---|
 Chief MP |
Be a total dickhead and get the whole server hating you. Complain to the captain that you have to wear your beret. Do sick gamer RP. Arrest 23 marines in one operation. Give NJPs that make the Geneva Conventions look like a suggestion as you take a spoon and force feed a cargo tech 8 hamburgers for stealing your cigarettes. | Mutiny Speedrun Any% |
 Warden |
Have literally everyone forget you exist. Sit in brig and enjoy a podcast. Be the chillest MP in the army. | Who? |
 Military Police |
Run to delta prep at the beginning of every operation. Roll MP on high every event round because shit's about to go down. Be a total dick to every marine. Arrest everyone. Have the admins defend you at every corner. | In Game Admining |
Marine
The Ground Troops of the Colonial Marines are crayon-eaters who barely know their ass from their elbow.. They are the grunts of the Almayer, and what most sane people play as. They are divided between four squads Snowflakes, Fobbits, Literally Who, or Crayon Eaters each squad has a Squad Leader, who will die within 5 mins. They also have five support roles to help during the fight planetside: A Specialist who doesn't even have a bronze service medal, a Smartgunner that frontlines and gets capped, a Medic with the equipment to help injured Marines, a shotgun and a dream, the Engineer to build hellcades and never the FOB and lastly the standards, the main fighting body against the aliens, noted for having low intelligence.
| Job | Role | Difficulty |
|---|---|---|
 Squad Leader  1 per squad |
Frontline and get capped when the queen shows her ugly face. Get bitched at for everything you have, and robbed blind. Get briged and get your entire squad arrested for not wanting to deploy without you. Not because they need you; they don't. They just want to fight the power. | Do you want to ghost? |
 Squad Radio Telephone Operator  2 per squad |
Intelligence Officer died for this. Prank call the RTO next to you asking them if their refrigerator is running. Call down plates and nothing but plates the whole op. Laze because the Squad Leader is too lazy too. Toss your CAS flares as normal flares and bomb the troops | Can I get two number 9s.... |
 Squad Specialist  1 per squad |
Pick SADAR and get metatargeted the whole op and gibbed. Play Scout and get capped when you think you'll do a cheeky hivedive. Play Pyro and singlehandedly stop every marine push and get your guts ripped out by a ravager. Play GL and be a worse SADAR as well as eating every marine Req has. Don't play Sniper. No one plays Sniper. In any case, your job is to eat all of Req's budget and then some, so get to work! | Submissive and Gibbable |
 Squad Smartgunner  1 per squad |
Get a bigass smartgun. Gun every down. Hold your mouse button down the whole operation. Still somehow have ammo. Shoot out windows and survivors alike. Give "Suppressing Fire" because you have no fucking idea what you're shooting at. Have the Captain call all 4 smartgunners to be their Honour Guard and become an angel of death as you shred every single xenomorph in your path | IFF OFF, MORE DAKKA |
 Squad Medic  2 minimum & 4 maximum per squad |
Stop AFKing after your Nurse hour. Forget medicine. Learn that the Shotgun is mightier than the medkit. Get slaughtered by everything when you actually take a second to heal marines behind the lines. | Farming Synthetic Hours |
 Squad Engineer  2 minimum & 3 maximum per squad |
Build everything but the FOB. Never do power. Frontline with a shotgun. Make your Plasteel cades 1 wide | Braindead |
 Squad Marine Unlimited |
The nameless heroes who fight Xenomorphs. Pick one of the 15 marine Kits to take 1 thing from it. Be the most bald person around and add bullets to the battle, be the most skilled elite gamer alive and solo the queen. Think you're special because you have neon hair. | None |
Engineering
The Engineering Department is one of the most important roles to support the use of the Almayer, they are responsible for setting up the engine and repairing any damage on the Almayer.
| Job | Role | Difficulty |
|---|---|---|
 Chief Engineer |
Be an MT but again. Be aCO when no one else will. Build the FOB when bravo has no engis. Get bored. Die. | aCO at 1am |
 Ordnance Technician |
Make bombs that no one will use. If people use them, they will be absolute shit. Deploy and toss your grenade once. Get drunk with the researcher, and never associate with the scum that are MTs | 60 minutes for one grenade |
 Maintenance Technician |
Turn the Execution chamber into a bar and die very drunk. Get arrested every operation. Soft or Hardgrief the whole round and have no one notice at all. Have the XO yell at you for 30 minutes to load the OB and load cluster instead of HE. | Assistant but for CM |
Medical / Science
The Medical department is a very critical for the success of the marines, they heal injured marines when their local squad medic can't fix them and perform surgeries for particularly bad cases, the researcher is a special role with the job of developing special equipment to the marines. Different from other roles on the Almayer, the doctors are civilian personnel and not military, meaning they don't have a rank and their authority is only over the medbay.
| Job | Role | Difficulty |
|---|---|---|
 Chief Medical Officer |
Pretend to be innocent the whole shift. But you, the Cargo Techs, and the MPs all know that you were high the whole time. Don't pretend like no one noticed. | THE RIDE NEVER ENDS |
 Doctor |
Do Surgery at the FOB but have the synth do it better. Cry. Or you can AFK in medbay unless it's really needed. Or you can die with the Armored Division. It's up to you. | APC Homie |
 Nurse |
AFK for a whole hour. There is no nurse gameplay. | Afk Simulator 2190 |
 Researcher |
Make stims 5 minutes into the round. Cry that IOs don't exist anymore. Never even be considered when people talk about medbay. Never do surgery even if no one else can. Let a guy burst while you're pissing into your vials. | IOs MY BELOVED |
Supply
The Supply Department is a smaller support department, their main job is to make sure to send more equipment to the marines via supply drop or via dropship, they also distribute attachments on the Almayer.
| Job | Role | Difficulty |
|---|---|---|
 Requisitions Officer |
Get called griefing for ordering 25000$ worth of HEFA grenades for the GL specialist. | aCO at 4am |
 Cargo Technician |
Join the Brad Ward Corps today! | Boring |
 Mess Sergeant |
Get everyone drunk, get arrested 25 different times | None |
Synthetic
The Synthetic role is unique as the player takes control over a non-human robotic synthetic. Stronger, faster and more powerful than the average human, synthetics, however, are held back by restricting laws and rules that govern their actions.
| Job | Role | Difficulty |
|---|---|---|
 Synthetic |
Assist the crew of the USS Almayer in any and all applicable tasks. Additionally, they can spawn as working Joe synthetics as survivors. Note: Currently the job is whitelisted, click here to go to the application form. |
Very Hard |
Non-USCM Jobs
These roles are not members of the United States Colonial Marines. The Liaison is the only one that takes part of the Almayer while the Survivor is a colony job and the mercenaries are an Emergency Response Team.
| Job | Role | Difficulty |
|---|---|---|
 Corporate Liaison |
Be the direct line of communication between the Almayer and Weyland-Yutani by sending faxes. Make sure the interests of the Weyland-Yutani are retained. | Hard |
 Survivor |
Survive the infestation at the colony. | Very Hard |
 Responders |
Answer the distress call and help the marines... or make their lives worse. | Hard |
 Alien Cultists |
Infect marines, serve the hive, praise the Queen! | Medium |