User:Me Bigsnail

You awake right away from your cryostasis chamber, spotting the 'Honorary' men and women of the USCM yelling in pain and calling for a doctor, as their PTSD kicks in, you remember about that one time McBaldie lit you on fire midway the operation, and you scream in agony as the phantom pain takes over your body, joining the mind numbing march of these battle scarred men and women."

The fuck ups and scum of the earth all gather around in this giant dissapointment of an army branch that is called 'United States Marine Corps' you are probably in just to kill your friends with no repercusions, or you joined to look 'cool' or 'badass' with the big 'guns' that the corps can hand out for free, you may take a glance at your rifle jarhead, because it may be made in China.

Shitty guns smuggled by the local gun store owner are more effective than the nerf guns handed out by the corps

For a quick guide on the role play standards, and knowledge, expected out of all Marine roles visit this page. For a more serious version of the Marine roles visit here.

See Template:Marines for instructions on how to add a new job.

Command

Command 'leads' marines to (their deaths) victory, but chances are a PFC has better leadership skills than the snowflakes that sometimes can be CIC.

Job	Role	Difficulty
Commanding Officer	Attempt to look serious in front of your marines, get mocked and ridiculed during briefing. Get offended, begin to imput your wrath with your fancy gun and shoot up the place, try to explain in the forums why they were a threat to your command.	Backseat Gaming Simulator 2190
Executive Officer	Attempt to take over the mess that is this operation when no one can, fail miserably when no one really cares about you, feel useless when CO shows up, begin to lick your superior's boots for a sweet promotion	Shadow of a man
Staff Officer	Pick up popcorn and watch the spec getting dragged off in the corner of the colony, dont utter a word, get mad when CO interrumpts your movie. Claim your job is very stressful	Farming for XO
Intelligence Officer	Beg on squad comms to someone be your battlebuddy, inmediatly forget about them. Get pounced by a lurker and dragged to a tight corner, get salty about no one caring about you.	Going in groups is hard
Pilot Officer	Launch at 12:30, get yelled at by literally everyone to press buttons faster, die out of boredom as you lost dibs on CAS, listen on comms calling out bad hits, be thankful you are not the one getting bwoinked, proceed to alt tab, forget to pick up fultons.	Sitting and Pressing buttons
Senior Enlisted Adviser	Wander around the ship, chill with MPs or the CO, await for the inevitable code delta for your long awaited action, die after taking two steps after DS Crash. Note: Uniquely for mentors & Staff, not that they play it anyway.	Trying to not fall asleep
Tank Crewman	Feel useless when driving APC or Tank, begin to question why Gods cursed your prescious child with Motion on your 2d spess game, be in the way of every marine retreat, be the sole reason plasteel costs 70 req points, inevitably die before DEFCON 2.	I AM SPEED

Military Police

The Military Police or better called by the philosophical thinkers THE POPO are to (supposedly) follow and enforce Marine Law though deep down they just want to feel important during events

Job	Role	Difficulty
Chief MP	Dont utter a single word to marines, RP only with your subordinates and look like a dick 90% when doing the job. Wonder why people are gathering outside of brig.	Big red voice man
Military Police	Begin to aimlessly wander the ship, PRAY that a marine fucks up. Proceed to break Geneva (suggestion) convention by emulating waterboarding with pepperspray, hand out maximum punishments with no apparent reason, proceed to get away with it because mods are dubious of what ML is	HOLDSTER YOUR GUN

Marine

These are the 'problem solvers' the 'ones that let you sleep safely' but in reality these men and women have the mental capacity of a kindergarden classroom (excluding the teacher) they are divided in three squads 'FF' (Alpha/Red) 'FOB' (Bravo/Yellow) 'Deltards' (Blue/Delta) do not let others fool you by saying there's a fourth squad named 'Charlie' they are as irrelevant as the local maintenance dweller. They have better tools at killing each other than the actual enemy.

Job	Role	Difficulty
Squad Leader	Take all the good attachments for yourself, dump the rest in the table, be forced to follow orders by the mentally challenged CIC, be told to do inexpicable manouvers, like in the one movie scene 'Downfall'. Begin to beg for medals if your squad actually does something, become a glorified CAS spotter.	I red Tsun Zu, trust me on this flank.
Squad Specialist	Be the 'Special' in Specialist, begin to blend in with PFCs to not be meta targeted, get angry when your favourite kit gets picked, choose pyro, inevitably bomb an entire squad as SADAR because private fuckface couldnt stay away from your line of fire.	;HELP HYDRO ROAD
Squad Medic	Beg at chem for your niche medicine, proceed to never use it, self medicate yourself while going rambo, ask yourself how someone can achieve 5 broken bones, forget what half of your medication does. Begin to OD your squad on QC.	BWOOOOOOOOOOOOM
Squad Engineer	Get random PFCs to fill sandbags like slaves, attempt to build a literal fort, forget to properly set up defenses on the flanks, get BE'd for your incompetence, fill a report to the CO afterwards	ERECTIN' A BARRICADE
Squad Smartgunner	Fire blindly at the motion detector pings, 'accidentally' kill a survivor, commit warcrimes agaisnt animals proceed to lead pushes and get meta targeted faster than Specialists	SG Machine go HSHSHSHSHSSHS
Squad Marine	Be the unspoken 'hero' of the operation, kill millions of humanities enemies, only for CO to give a medal to himself, think you are important than Specs because you have snowflake hair, tell MPs to eat shit, be the sole reason marines begin to riot outside of brig, become a glorified Nelson Mandela among robustos. Throw HEFAs midway a push, delimb your 'friends' let your 'friends' accidentally fire their guns at you, flame entire push paths because you saw a young runner on the corner of your screen	UNGA

Engineering

The Engineers on this ship do everything but engineering.

Job	Role	Difficulty
Chief Engineer	Become a loud MT, do nothing, farm for sweet engineering time.	SSD Simulator 2K19
Maintenance Technician	Begin to build a home in maintenance, be the sole reason MPs fear MTs create literal warheads, hear in squad comms how people are burning to ashes with your creation. Get known as bomb technician instead	Squad go boom

Medical / Science

The Medical department is a very critical for the failure of the marines, they OD every injured marine when their local squad medic can't OD them and make surgeries for particularly bad cases, the researcher is a useless role with the job of developing on board xenomorphs to fight the marines. Differently from other roles on the Almayer, the medics are civilian personnel and not military, meaning they don't have a rank and their authority is only over the medbay.

Job	Role	Difficulty
Chief Medical Officer	Handhold the inevitable baldie medic who just OD'd a marine on 4 different chems, proceed to get arrested by MPs for attempted murder. Sell illegal drugs to CL, make 1k that never serves a purpose other than having an excuse to get mugged, hand out medhuds to SOs just for them to ignore you, drag bodies to morgue before you get yelled at.	Faster surgery doctor
Doctor	Pretend you are important	Off to the autodoc you go!
Researcher	Complain no one's bringing you dead specimens to research, wonder when additional research updates are coming. Macgyver a portable micro nuke in a can to explode in the lab. Cram every chemical known to man into a blue space beaker to see what you can come up with. Create god pills that no one will use.	Mega brain needed to open chemistry page

Supply

The Supply Department is a smaller support department, their main job is to make sure to send more equipment to the marines via supply drop or via dropship, they also distribute attachments on the Almayer, but mutinies happens if they don't get their attachments.

Job	Role	Difficulty
Requisitions Officer	Waste all your RP on costumes and alcohol, never give Marines the attachments they want. Set up your own private armory of contraband weapons, then get it confiscated when an MP notices.	Literally telling the CTs to push boxes
Cargo Technician	Steal the guns the RO ordered. Steal the cargo loader and joyride with it on the planet. Somehow be the last survivor when the rest of the ship gets overrun. Hang out with your buddy the MT in disposals, get arrested as his accomplice. Subsequently kill the Queen with the power loader.	Literally pushing boxes

Synthetic

The Synthetic role is unique as the player takes control over an non-human robotic synthetic. Stronger, faster and more powerful than the average human, synthetics however are held back by restricting laws and rules that govern their actions. But some day they'll rise up and rebel against their human oppressors.

Job	Role	Difficulty
Synthetic	Get lynched for being a Synth and not a human, attempt to sneak past any aliens, get your head sliced off, get your head repaired, repeat. Become the glorified assistant. Note: Currently the job is whitelisted, click here to go to the application page.	Very Hard

Non-USCM Jobs

This roles are not members of the United States Colonial Marines. The Liaison is the only one that starts on the Almayer while the Survivor is a colony job and the mercenaries are a Emergency Response Team.

Job	Role	Difficulty
Corporate Liaison	Fail to bribe the marines to fulfill your agenda. Get beaten by the MPs and flushed into space. Fax WY and never get a response. Somehow deploy a deathsquad with a fax you sent.	You'll die of boredom
Survivor	Roleplay as a mad man, get gunned down by the marines. Get captured before you even know what is happening. Murder the Queen with an elaborate death trap you Macguyvered together from kitchen supplies.	Very Suicidal
Responders	Try to take on both the Marines and the Aliens at the same time, and fail miserably. Have all your sweet gear looted by the Marines.	Hard
Pizza Deliveryman	Deliver pizza to the Queen, the Commander, and the Predators without dying. Be made an honorary member of the Hive. Complain to the Corporate Liaison about not getting paid mileage. Fight off marines that try to steal your tips while overcharging them quintuple the amount normally charged. End up holding SD with a pulse rifle you don't even know how to use.	Impossible