More actions
You awake from cryostasis in your Standard Military CS Uniform, yawning as you stretch out the rigidness that can come from staying in one position for so long. You look around, noticing you’re aboard the faithful vessel with its dreary grey walls, the USS Almayer. You climb out of your cryotube and immediately step away from the computer to light up a blunt. Not like anything interesting is going to happen right away anyways.
The Space Jammers of the United States Basketball Colonial Marines are our protagonist. These are the guys you call in to deal with the problems you have, maybe a band of space pirates, maybe a group of colonial rebels, or maybe even worse. In theory. In practice, it's more like a band of would-be Michael Jordans getting ready for the jam. This page is how people will play the listed positions all too often, and you should try not to emulate them!
For a quick guide on the role play standards, and knowledge, expected out of all Marine roles visit this page. For a more serious (and an effective how-to guide) version of the Marine roles visit here.
Keep in mind that this page contains some jokes, references, sarcasm and other funny related things. So it's better that you wouldn't follow it to the letter and read the actual guide linked above, have some common sense.
See Template:Marines for instructions on how to add a new job, just for laughs anyway.
Coach
The Coach Department is the "Brains" of the USS Almayer, leading and coordinating the squads and the other support staff of the ship to dunk and win against the Dunkmorphs.
| Job | Role | Difficulty |
|---|---|---|
 Team Coach |
The entire USS Almayer basketball team is under your control. Lead your small team and complete the championships for a victory of the USCM! Note: Currently the job is whitelisted, click here to go to the application page. |
Very Hard |
 Vice Coach |
2nd in coaching command of the Almayer basketball team. Execute any orders and score slam dunks the Team Coach gives you. Fill in for the TC if needed. | Hard |
 Staff Coach |
Execute the Vice Coach's orders. Play as a basketball player like everyone else. | Medium |
 Bus Driver |
Transport the players via the dropship. Make sure you bring more players in the Almayer to the ground with your dropship. | Medium |
Military Umpire
The Military Umpire is one of the main supports of the coach staff, they ensue that the Marine Law is followed on the ship and groundside, they do this by arresting and detaining fouling marines in the centre of the Nexus. They as well, play as regular players too and punish foul Dunkmorphs players.
| Job | Role | Difficulty |
|---|---|---|
 Chief Umpire |
Command the Military Umpire. Uphold and Enforce Marine Law and the rules of Basketball. | Medium |
 Military Umpire |
Uphold and Enforce Marine Law and the rules of Basketball. Detain anyone fouling other marine players. Defend the net from invading Dunkmorph players. Keep the crew of the Almayer safe. | Medium |
Marine Players
The Ground Players of the Colonial Marines are enlisted or conscripted into service. They form the main fighting force of the Almayer and are sent planetside to win all kinds of seasons throughout the Tychon's Rift Championship Games. They are divided between four squads Alpha (Red), Bravo (Yellow), Charlie(Purple) and Delta (Blue) each squad has a Centre Leader, they also have five support roles to help during the fight planetside: A Point Guard with not-so special equipment, a Shooting Guard with view of terrain, a Small Player with the equipment and know-how to help injured Marines, the Power Player to build or demolish constructions and lastly the basketball players, the main playing body against the Dunkmorph players, noted for having low intelligence.
| Job | Role | Difficulty |
|---|---|---|
 Centre Leader |
Leader of all of the four basketball marine squads and follow orders from Command. Keep your squad in one piece. | Hard |
 Point Guard |
Has access to heavier more powerful weaponry and equipment to their disposal, though not so useful anyways. Point professional, lead the squad if needed. | Medium |
 Small Player |
Keep Marines in fighting condition from a foul, or as close as you can get them. Medevac those who need to be sent back to Autodoc for treatment. | Hard |
 Power Player |
Build or remove fortifications on the net. Establish and maintain the Marine Nexus and Power. Rarely gain access to blocked off areas. | Medium |
 Shooting Guard |
Has the M56 Head Mounted Sight at their disposal. Support your Squad with by assisting with every other player in the Almayer crew. | Medium |
 Marine Basketball Player |
Follow orders from those above you. Play your game and dunk when you're needed to dunk your basketball at the net. Don't foul your other teammates in the process. | Easy |
Engineering Players
The Engineering Department is one of the most important roles to support the use of the Almayer, but not on the ground, they are responsible for setting up the engine and repairing any damage on the Almayer. They're also responsible for defending the net from any Dunkmorphplayers aiming for the slam dunk.
| Job | Role | Difficulty |
|---|---|---|
 Defending Chief Guard |
Oversee engineering and telecomms. Manage the DGs at your disposal. Keep the Nexus Net away from Dunkmorph players. | Hard |
 Defending Guard |
Make sure the LV-624's reactor is set up and working correctly. Repair any damage of any barracades done to the Nexus Net. | Medium |
Medical / Science
The Medical department is a very critical for the success of the marine players, they put injured marines to a Autodoc when their local squad medic can't fix them, the researcher is a special role with the job of playing Basketball like everyone else. Different from other roles on the Almayer, the doctors are civilian personnel and not military, meaning they don't have a rank and their authority is only over the medbay.
| Job | Role | Difficulty |
|---|---|---|
 Chief Medical Physcian |
Oversee the Autodoc station and Research. Manage your medical crew. Advise the Coach staff on matters of health and wellness of the marine team. | Hard |
 Emergency Paramedic |
Treat all patients that are hit from a foul. Transfer injured marines from the foul site to autodoc station. | Medium |
 Scientific Player |
Conduct research on what is sent to you. Study and analyze the tactics of Dunkmorph players. | Medium |
Cargonia Players
The Cargonia Department is a smaller support department, their main job is to make sure to send more equipment to the marines via dropship. But they mostly play Basketball like everyone else.
| Job | Role | Difficulty |
|---|---|---|
 Cargonia Coach |
Oversee the cargo area of the team. Lead your Cargonian players to victory for the USCM. | Medium |
 Cargonia Player |
Assist the Cargonia Coach. Play as a special group of players dedicated to Cargo. | Easy |
Synthetic Player
The Synthetic Player is unique as the player takes control over a non-human robotic synthetic. Stronger, faster and more powerful than the average human, synthetics, however, are held back by restricting laws and rules that govern their actions.
| Job | Role | Difficulty |
|---|---|---|
 Synthetic Player |
Assist the crew of the USS Almayer in game of Basketball. Note: Currently the job is whitelisted, click here to go to the application page. |
Very Hard |
Non-USCM Players
This roles are not members of the United States Basketball Colonial Marines. The Corporate Player is the only that makes part of the Almayer while the Ground Engineer is a colony job and the Reserves are a Emergency Response Team.
| Job | Role | Difficulty |
|---|---|---|
 Corporate Player |
Be the direct line of communication between the Almayer and Weyland Yutani by sending End of Game reports after the game. Make sure the interests of Weyland Yutani are retained. | Medium |
 Ground Engineer |
Survive the ball game at the colony. | Very Hard |
 Reserves |
Answer the reserve call and help the marine team... Or make their lives worse. The list of Reserves are shown below: |
Hard |
 Team Freelancer / Freelancer Players |
They're a collection of ex-Veteran Basketball Players in the Tychon's Rift Championship Games, who have banded together to form a mercenary basketball team, and as such have been the player-for-hire in the games from 2181 to 2186. The Freelancer Players are mostly good willed, but they are almost entirely motivated by money rather than ethics. The least hated faction in the sector, though ironically they can be either hostile or friendly towards everyone. | Medium |
 Team W-Y / Corporate PMC Players |
The largest basketball PMC team in the sector, the Weyland-Yutani basketball consultants is a subsidiary of Weyland-Yutani. They were originally an independent PMC team on Earth, but they were bought out by W-Y and started to provide assistance on basketball to the outer rims of space jam, which became a rapidly growing sector at the time. Now, the PMC team provides services of all kinds of basketball services to governments and companies, they also play basketball championship games to certain Weyland-Yutani facilities, space stations, colonies and biggest of all, the Tychon's Rift Championship Games. PMCs are the most similar to the USCM in playstyle, but they wield knowledge and tactics far more powerful than the USCM on average. | Hard |
 Team Union of Progressive Peoples / UPP Players |
The team of Union of Progressive Peoples (U.P.P) is a powerful socialist block that rivals the United Americas in many respects of Basketball. Being highly territorial and relatively secretive, Team UPP maintains very little communication with those outside their borders. Their inner tactics and workings are largely a mystery. They're here to battle the USCM in basketball whenever they feel like their borders are threatened at. | Medium |
 Team Colonial Liberation Front / Free Colonist Players |
The team of Colonial Liberation Front are an organized group of colonist players who believe the Tychon's Rift Championship Games is not part of the United Americas. They have grown used to their independence which they have "achieved" over the years; subsequently, they consider the withdrawal of the Dust Raiders, the previous champions on the last Tychon's Rift Championship Games, and the diminished presence of the Colonial Marshals, to be proof of their independent team. | Very Hard |
 Team Corporate Deathsquad / Deathsquad Players |
A top-secret, black-ops group formed by Weyland-Yutani High Basketball Command to deal with any kind of business with the Xenomorph Freedom Team, such as kidnapping or cheating on their games. Team 'Deathsquad' are highly trained and utterly loyal to the corporation. They are not affiliated with Team W-Y. Their job is to clean up situations that are out of hand by mopping every mess they see on the court every end-of-round (this MAY include the Liaison depending on his actions). Usually, when sent, they'll be informed that there is a Liaison onboard and he is not to be harmed if he has been loyal to the Company. | Very Hard |
 Team UPP Deathsquad / UPP Deathsquad Players |
Little is known of the UPP basketball team, even less about the Team UPP 'Deathsquad'. It is a highly organized and covert ops basketball team division issued by UPP High Basketball Command. Not much known about them, they're highly trained and well equipped to the best equipment they can take. This group has their own special missions issued by UPP High Command, as well as dunking everyone who are not soldiers, glorified to the UPP. | Very Hard |
 Team Iron Bears |
Team Iron Bears are a special forces basketball group from the USSR. While the USSR and the UA are at peace and officially co-operating, the USSR still wants to beat at USCM's basketball game. On average Iron Bear tactics are typically slightly less effective than their USCM counterpart, but this is compensated by their tactics usually having a very diversity of options. These reserves are currently retired due a horrifying foul during the previous Tychon's Rift Championship Games. |
Not Available |
 Dutch's Basketball Team |
Halling from the jungle planet of Watchman, the no-named Dutch's Basketball Team are a small, yet powerful group of mercenaries specialized in jungle basketball warfare. It's members are trained to figon low tech tactics and equipment, learning special survival techniques and how to conduct guerrilla warfare. They employ very older or outdated tactics such as such as waiting for the right time to strike, however, they are extremely well trained to use these weapons, often better than any marine with a M5 Survival Knife. These reserves are currently retired due to their ruthless acts against the Prededunkers. |
Not Available |
 Pizzachimp Delivery Sponsors |
To boldly deliver pizza where no sponsored deliveryman has gone before. | Impossible |